Parents deliberately winding up children

I'm convinced a lot of parents nowadays have hearing problems and just do not hear screaming high pitched noise. Speaking on mobile phones so loudly that all hears, to me is a sign.

Not the child’s fault @Netflixnan the dad hyping up the child for over twenty minutes continuously. Rarrr, squeal, laugh. Rarrr, squeal, laugh.
Dear lord - father unaware of his surroundings or being Disney dad is at fault not the child. In the park- fine. In a restaurant most definitely not fine. He should be interacting quietly with sticker books or colouring not repeatedly rarrring to wind up the child.

I had to read this twice - I was expecting the child to be upset, but she was laughing!! So noisy happy kids are bad?

There is a huge difference between a father interacting with his toddler alone at table in whatever way........ and the father who needs to make everyone near by aware of what a super dad he is in amusing the child

Maybe it was his one day out a week with the child and he was feeling desperate to be liked

Thank you CleoPanda

I would have felt exactly the same as the OP.
Time and place for screaming and loud noise - outside, home, nursery etc. Definitely not in a restaurant - child friendly or adult oriented.
Deliberately winding up a child and encouraging shrieking in an enclosed public space is bad manners, inconsiderate and inappropriate.
Also - nasty comments aimed at the OP are bad manners, inconsiderate and inappropriate.
Surely You can state an opposing opinion without resorting to insults?

I think you are over reacting OP.

A father was having fun with his toddler, didn't realise the noise was getting too loud for others, somebody politely asked him to stop and he did so.

We often say to children ' use your words' - meaning speak up or ask if you want something.
Same goes for adults.
I think you could have done this sooner if it was a problem for you.

Just politely ask the other person to stop. No need to speak to staff - speak directly to the person.

Is only a problem if he then does not stop- but he immediately did, so problem solved
Probably could have been solved sooner if you asked him yourself.

What a misery you are. There is enough woe in this world ..let children be happy. I love hearing kids laugh having fun. Go somewhere where there are no children next time.

Everyone behaves differently. I take my dog on holiday with me and I'm thankful some places allow dogs in. She sits on the floor quietly beside me and never gets my food as I keep her treats for her in my pocket. I've watched kids running around the tables squealing when I'm out while their parents sit in their phones just ignoring them and annoying other diners. At least my dog sits quietly until I'm ready to leave.

Vintagejazz

We went out for lunch yesterday and had to tolerate a father at a nearby table deliberately making monster like faces at his toddler, causing the child to scream and then screech with laughter. This went on and on, the child getting louder and louder. Just as we were about to have a word with a member of staff, someone from another table called over to the father 'can you cut that out please. We can't hear ourselves think'. The father looked a bit shocked but stopped, thank goodness.

I've seen this happen before - parents deliberately winding their children up to ever louder and more hysterical shouting and laughing in cafés and restaurants. I mean, playing and interacting with your children is great, but encouraging them to scream and shriek in public places is a different matter.

AIBU to think parents like this should have more awareness?

Why were you going to have a word with a member of staff??? Well done on the other table sorting it out themselves instead of making staff get involved, then the manager and it all kicks off (can you tell I’ve been there?).

I agree with the OP .
I've gone out for a meal and been unable to hear due to the antics on the next table .
It's great to interact with your kids ,but not to disturb other people.
My grandson nearly caused a waitress to fall over with a heavy tray of glasses in a restaurant .
I explained to him that it wouldn't be nice for the lady to fall and cut herself and if he sat down he could have a special story whereupon my son completely lost his temper with me as I was spoiling their day out .

Joseanne

What I don't understand is why, two days later, the unfortunate event is still giving grief to you Vintagejazz. Life really is too short.

You don't need to act like the party-clown to keep them occupied. Actually I'm just off to do this for a few hours with my class of 9 year olds!!

It's not 'giving me grief'. What a strange statement.

It's an example of behaviour I've seen on several occasions and thought I'd like to discuss on here.

I wasn't aware we could only post about major, distressing issues.

My husband and I don't enjoy meals where there are alot of children so we choose restaurants where there are very few when in own or with friends. When out with grandchildren we choose restaurants that are child friendly. I would have embraced observing a child happily being spent time with by a parent as sadly with work patterns and some times domestic arrangements this is lacking in our societies. Maybe look at where you choose to eat.

I cringe when I see that certain eating places allow dogs.
What I don't understand is that if shops are not allowed to have dogs inside if they have a food prep area or are serving food as in a deli area, why can cafes?
As for the dad at the restaurant, while I see no problem in families enjoying themselves, having a child screaming at the nearby table because of a parent's behaviour would have me either cutting my meal short or just leaving!

Don’t see the problem with feeding a dog tidbits off my plate TBH, not like I’m lifting him up to help himself

I recall some years ago being in a restaurant with a friend who was an ex-teacher, there was a child running around stopping at tables and grabbing at things, when he got to our table my friend leaned down to him and in a very quiet voice just said "Go Away". He looked shocked ran back to his parents table, who had been ignoring his antics, and sat there staring at us until we left!

Poor child - shocked by a command that wouldn't have been necessary if the parents had stopped him from running around. Isn't it a tad dangerous for such children with hot food and drinks being ferried around?

Many, many years ago I was in a restaurant - it was at the time when strippergrams were all the rage. The table next to ours had booked it for their hen night and halfway through the meal the inevitable 'policeman' arrived and started to strip - all the while bumping into our table, knocking my partner's drink so it spilled all over his plate. When he got down to his underpants, he bent over and pushed our table quite a few inches. The hens shrieked with delight.

I didn't mind the noise (well, I did, but was prepared to tolerate it) but the stripper's bum nudging our table and spilling things was too much so I asked him politely if he'd move round to the other side. Only to be told that I was a spoilsport, party-pooper, and "boring" by a couple of the hens... oh, and a "prude" (naturally).

In the end, a waiter came and asked the 'policeman' (civilly) to move around to the other side of the hens' table, which then put him in the way of the other waiters rushing around! We hadn't complained to him either.

Some people simply lack self-awareness and struggle with social-skills, and there's not much you can do about it.

The restaurant was Blubeckers in Shepperton. Never went back. I don't mind people having their noisy fun, but not within inches of my ear drums, nor do I relish the fact of near-naked bottoms in close proximity to my dinner plate.

The policeman left in a hurry afterwards - and in his haste, forgot to pick up his transistor beat-box. Might have made his next booking a bit, erm, lacklustre .

Joseanne

What I don't understand is why, two days later, the unfortunate event is still giving grief to you Vintagejazz. Life really is too short.

You don't need to act like the party-clown to keep them occupied. Actually I'm just off to do this for a few hours with my class of 9 year olds!!

You don't need to act like the party-clown to keep them occupied. Actually I'm just off to do this for a few hours with my class of 9 year olds!!

... but presumably not in a restaurant (unless booked for the event)?

Completely different kettle of fish. Good luck!

I think we have all, at some time, suffered from misbehaving children. I don't think anyone objects to a child laughing but being encouraged to shriek and scream is not the same.

I recall some years ago being in a restaurant with a friend who was an ex-teacher, there was a child running around stopping at tables and grabbing at things, when he got to our table my friend leaned down to him and in a very quiet voice just said "Go Away". He looked shocked ran back to his parents table, who had been ignoring his antics, and sat there staring at us until we left!

In a classroom setting Joseanne where you wont be disturbing anyone else, and presumably they wont be screaming, screeching with laughter and getting louder and louder.

What I don't understand is why, two days later, the unfortunate event is still giving grief to you Vintagejazz. Life really is too short.

You don't need to act like the party-clown to keep them occupied. Actually I'm just off to do this for a few hours with my class of 9 year olds!!

Daisymae

Some parents are just impervious! Many years ago I was on a long bus journey with DD, who had just leaned a new song. All the way she kept singing 'The witches of Halloween, wooo hooo'. That was it, over and over. How super cute I thought. Some girl then piped up ' I wish that f***ING kid would shut up!' ?

I have an aversion to Baby Shark but when I hear a young child singing it repeatedly, I smile and think to myself at least I can walk away.

Far too many important things to worry about in the world today.

Well as we agreed before, grannygravy, there's a happy medium. The example of the child saying hello to everyone didn't meet with any criticism.

But anyone constantly screaming in a restaurant, whether adult or child, is going to be a disturbance.

Some parents are just impervious! Many years ago I was on a long bus journey with DD, who had just leaned a new song. All the way she kept singing 'The witches of Halloween, wooo hooo'. That was it, over and over. How super cute I thought. Some girl then piped up ' I wish that f***ING kid would shut up!' ?

All toddlers are different and this thread is about toddler - father interaction.

I really thought that the children should be seen and not heard mantra had disappeared along with child labour but not on GN it appears.

Hithere

So a father committed the cardinal sin of having some fun with his kid - perhaps not realizing it was too loud and corrected his behaviour when he was called out in it

Please tell me why this deserves a thread vilifying the father

I think it's inevitable that a topic like this will attract diverse opinion.

Disruptive behaviour of children in restaurants etc is not a new thing, many of us have experienced it. Tolerance levels vary.

The unfortunate part is that it's never the child's fault so naturally we're going to be critical of the parents.

Some called him an idiot, and then we expanded on the theme - in general. We're not vilifying the father, just exploring the issue.

It's possible that some parents - fathers in particular - are so busy 'providing' for the family that they don't get time to really engage with their children and fall back on the entertain-them-at-all-cost method of parenting. But children are like plants, they grow in all directions and they, ahem, need a little pruning.

I personally love to see kids running riot and expressing their natural exuberance. I live in close proximity to a kindergarten and enjoy the shrieks of delight coming from it during playtime. I simply don't believe it's appropriate in a restaurant or pub environment, and I also think that children are so receptive that you only have to give them your genuine attention and they will respond to it. You don't need to act like the party-clown to keep them occupied.