Parents deliberately winding up children

Vintagejazz

Yes my mo t h e r and I were walking down a pier once and a father kept running towards the edge and pretending he was going to throw his child in t o the sea. The child was screaming in terror and the father thought it was all great fun. People started to protest and he shuffled off. He was more than just an idiot, he was dangerously stupid.

Probably that poor child had a phobia about water ever since!

You sometimes wonder if similar childhood pranks have a longer lasting effect on children than we think.

On a different note. When I was about 4, we collected a new puppy, and on the way home briefly called in at a relative’s home. Whilst sitting in car with this new puppy, our uncle came out, admired the puppy, then kept saying he was going to keep it! This really upset me, he was of course joking, but didn’t seem to realise that a child took what he said very literally. Can still remember how upset this made me.

Yes my mo t h e r and I were walking down a pier once and a father kept running towards the edge and pretending he was going to throw his child in t o the sea. The child was screaming in terror and the father thought it was all great fun. People started to protest and he shuffled off. He was more than just an idiot, he was dangerously stupid.

Grandpanow

You crack me up!

Hithere

So a father committed the cardinal sin of having some fun with his kid - perhaps not realizing it was too loud and corrected his behaviour when he was called out in it

Please tell me why this deserves a thread vilifying the father

So people can moan and complain I’ve gathered.

Chestnut

Children should be taught there is a time and a place for being noisy or energetic, and public places is not one of them. When surrounded by other people they should be kept calm and encouraged to sit quietly. Restaurants, public transport, waiting rooms etc. When they are in their garden or the park or at home they can make as much noise as they like.
Sadly this doesn't happen.

Happily, it’s no longer the era of seen and not heard.

So a father committed the cardinal sin of having some fun with his kid - perhaps not realizing it was too loud and corrected his behaviour when he was called out in it

Please tell me why this deserves a thread vilifying the father

Well ... never mind doing it when they are out - it drives me mad when they do it at all. It sometimes becomes almost abusive - an expression of power - and when the child goes OTT they find themselves in trouble. I have seen it happen. Horrible.

Vintagejazz

Dickens

It might be a 'man' thing.

A male relative of mine used to do this - get the children over-excited, teasing them and encouraging mayhem, and then expecting the womenfolk to quieten them down because he then wanted to watch something on the television.

Anyone can act the clown for their kids, that's easy - they are naturally amused at such antics. Real engagement with them takes a lot more effort.

Yes, I've only ever seen men do this. The worst was at Christmas Mass one year where a man was jumping in and out of the life sized crib at the side part of the church to amuse his toddler daughter. Part of the 'game' was that he would jump out of the crib and she would shout at him to get back in. Eventually an elderly woman lost her patience and snapped at him to 'stop that at once'. He looked startled, picked up his toddler and left the church.

What an idiot.

... unbelievable! Well, maybe not...

A man I was once quite close to told me that women were more intuitive than men (this was not in relation to parenting) which he thought made them more complex characters - a trait which has often been described as us being more 'emotional' but which he believed signified a greater intelligence! He also said that men just had an 'off' and 'on' switch which rendered them little more than animals obeying an instinct. He was always more comfortable in the company of women. He died some years ago, but I've never forgotten that late night conversation... we were 'chewing the fat' until the early hours - and we'd known each other for years!

I doubt many women would have behaved like that father at Mass.

I mean lets stack it up

Man enjoys playing with child loudly, gets asked to be quiet, does so

People on the interet call him names including "prat" and "idiot"

What is worse?

When GS1 first started school his father would come home from work and start playing rough games with him until he was completely hyper and wound up. The noise level would go up until it got too loud for father and it would end in telling off and tears. It took months to make him see what he was doing and start toning it down.

I have learned a lot about England in the last week.

Humans big and small make mistakes and sometimes do things that are not thoughtful. That does not mean they are always that way.

He made a bad decision. It was corrected. You were not unreasonable to feel upset at the time.

Dickens

It might be a 'man' thing.

A male relative of mine used to do this - get the children over-excited, teasing them and encouraging mayhem, and then expecting the womenfolk to quieten them down because he then wanted to watch something on the television.

Anyone can act the clown for their kids, that's easy - they are naturally amused at such antics. Real engagement with them takes a lot more effort.

Yes, I've only ever seen men do this. The worst was at Christmas Mass one year where a man was jumping in and out of the life sized crib at the side part of the church to amuse his toddler daughter. Part of the 'game' was that he would jump out of the crib and she would shout at him to get back in. Eventually an elderly woman lost her patience and snapped at him to 'stop that at once'. He looked startled, picked up his toddler and left the church.

What an idiot.

He sounds like a complete ignorant prat. I wouldn’t have waited 20 minutes before asking him to quieten down.

We lived next to a family where the father would do this early every Sunday morning. At the time I worked away from home three nights a week, so Sunday morning was my quiet lie in time. This and other things made me decide to move.

It might be a 'man' thing.

A male relative of mine used to do this - get the children over-excited, teasing them and encouraging mayhem, and then expecting the womenfolk to quieten them down because he then wanted to watch something on the television.

Anyone can act the clown for their kids, that's easy - they are naturally amused at such antics. Real engagement with them takes a lot more effort.

GrannyGravy13

Definitely there is a happy medium Lucca

Yes, I agree.

it was lunchtime so i don't think i'd have even noticed in all honesty and if i want to have a quiet meal i go somewhere that isn't child friendly (i don't btw as nothing bothers me like that tbh)

i have just realised you are now talking about dogs as well

Definitely there is a happy medium Lucca

I’m not keen on so many dogs in restaurants …even sitting on chairs/benches. I always feel sorry for people (ie paying customers) who ate allergic to dogs or myself in a nice dress sitting where a dog has just sat….

GrannyGravy13

So a Father interacting with his child is wrong, maybe it was a little bit too loud, but I would rather see parent child interaction than all sat with their heads in individual devices.

But there is a happy medium surely ?!

IMO everyone should be what they have to be; but in doing so they should consider other people. Children have to learn to do that, of course - and they won't learn if the adults around them behave as the father Vintagejazz describes.

I used to have a neighbour who would wind up local dogs. If a dog barked, he would bark, if it howled, he howled, and if it whined . . . you get the picture. It was maddening, as it made the dogs worse, but he seemed to find it hilarious. I think people sometimes forget that not everyone sees the world as they do.

Te only person on this thread who was there was Vintagejazz therefore she is the only one who knows how loud and disruptive the father and toddler were being.
Certainly loud enough for another customer not to be able to hear himself think and to be upset too.

playing and interacting with your children is great
I think we all agree on that.

VioletSky

That is a young age to discover how many adults are miserable and boring having forgotten how to be silly and make each other, and especially children, laugh.

Why is it miserable and boring to expect normal behaviour. The child has to learn where behaviour is appropriate some time and they certainly would not get away with it when they start school. Who better to teach them than their parents when they are young? Unless as someone else has pointed out the chap did not know what was appropriate himself.
French and Italian children have always accompanied their parents for meals but they all certainly know how to behave.

He was provoke grannygravy. He actually said 'can you cut that out.'

I do not think telling someone to pipe down is acceptable VintageJazz