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AIBU

DOGGY ETIQUETTE

(106 Posts)
Dylant1234 Tue 14-Jun-22 18:21:59

Recently I had a couple for dinner plus a couple of others. They asked if they could bring their dog to which I said fine (I like dogs).
Once here, they indicated that they’d forgotten a water bowl, could I provide one, which I did. After dinner, they said they’d forgotten to bring any snacks and could the dog eat the remains of the meal directly from the serving dish. I agreed, making a note to self to remember to sterilise the dish.
Afterwards, I thought, what a cheek! They’ve got no children and only had to think about the dog …… if it’d been me I’d have ensured I brought a drinking bowl and something for the dog to eat.
I know it’s not important in the great scheme of things but AIBU to be just a bit miffed?

BlueBelle Thu 16-Jun-22 16:50:38

gillycats I d rather touch cash than a tongue that’s licked it’s own bum clean
Dogs should only eat once a day so why would it need food when visiting ?

Doggie people leave your pooches at home

AussieNanna Fri 17-Jun-22 00:23:24

I guess it depends what is meant by 'the remains of the meal'. -if it were enough to be packed in the fridge as left overs or just a bit of scraps that were going to be binned anyway - in which case, why not give to the dog.

put in another container if you want to - dogs licking plates doesnt bother me (I have a good dishwasher) but if it bothers you, just say no or decant onto something else.

I think people just have different feelings about dogs - but then use the word No if you dont want the dog coming over and/or dont want it having anything at your house.

I would be very cross if people just brought their dog without asking or just gave it food - but if they ask first you say yes or no.

SiobhanSharpe Fri 17-Jun-22 11:59:37

We have dog owning friends who come to stay occasionally and always, but always bring drinking bowls, (specialised) food for them, including their own treats, and poo bags for when they walk them.
The dog beds are put in the conservatory overnight. The dogs do not go upstairs.
They are only fed dog food calibrated for their weight and condition and definitely wouldn’t get table scraps!
(Too rich and would risk upsetting their stomachs).
Now, if they would only address the problem of excessive barking….

highlanddreams Fri 17-Jun-22 17:33:25

BlueBelle

gillycats I d rather touch cash than a tongue that’s licked it’s own bum clean
Dogs should only eat once a day so why would it need food when visiting ?

Doggie people leave your pooches at home

It suits some dogs to eat once a day but not all. For many dogs it's better to more than once a day to reduce the chance of bloat which can kill them. Some dogs have epilepsy and are helped by eating little and often which can help reduce the drop in blood sugar that causes some seizures. My last dog had seizures so he was never left alone either, it's not pleasant for them, or their owners especially when the dog comes out of one or a double or a treble fit, the aftermath can last for hours even with all the drugs your vet can give them. My poor boy would vomit & pee every time, lose his balance & go temporarily blind for a few hours, so could have really hurt himself as he frantically paced around bumping into things when he came to. They need comfort and the reassurance of caring, loving arms & company to know they are safe and calm down.

Sorry but I won't be leaving my lovely dog at home, he will be with us wherever he is welcomed & if he's not welcome, then of course we won't take him & we just won't go. As I mentioned before I'm always well prepared to cater for my dog anyway.

People that don't get not leaving dogs at home & taking them with you everywhere you go,I feel sorry that you don't understand the magic of dogs. I was once like you until I hit my mid 30's and we rescued our first one, I even objected to her at first until we quickly bonded, then life changed for the better, now I never want to have my life without a dog to share it with.

Of course we can leave our dog at home, but we choose not to & that's our choice to make.

AussieNanna Sat 18-Jun-22 02:09:55

thats it highland dreams - people just have different feelings about dogs - so if you ask it is up to the other person to say Yes or No - and then you abide by their decision in their house or choose not to go.

But its no good person being asked saying Yes and then being upset that dog owner did so.

and forgetting to take a bowl to put water in- yes, bit careless but not a big deal.

nanna8 Sat 18-Jun-22 03:02:40

We’ve had odd family members bring dogs over when we are having a BBQ or something outdoors but inside- no. None of our friends would dream of asking that and neither did we when we had dogs. Didn’t bring the kids, either. I figure if you are invited you are invited but not the furry plus ones. I think you must be clear,though, because people love their dogs and some treat them like babies and once you said, ‘yes’ it was all systems go.

highlanddreams Sat 18-Jun-22 10:34:12

AussieNanna

thats it highland dreams - people just have different feelings about dogs - so if you ask it is up to the other person to say Yes or No - and then you abide by their decision in their house or choose not to go.

But its no good person being asked saying Yes and then being upset that dog owner did so.

and forgetting to take a bowl to put water in- yes, bit careless but not a big deal.

exactly right AussieNanna

Beautful Sat 18-Jun-22 11:07:06

I have commented earlier ... but just sharing this

Last year I went to the hospital, cut a long story short, the doctor thought I had Hydatid Disease ... this can be caught off dogs ... he asked me about how my dog passed away ... had dogs for years ... my dogs only used their bowls ... can be caught from letting dogs kiss you etc ... up to the individual what you feed your dogs out of ... but thought I would share this

Witzend Sat 18-Jun-22 11:17:11

Very odd behaviour! How could they forget?
Our last dog died years ago but I’ve still got her water dish in the kitchen - handy for visiting pooches, plus her little ghost won’t think I’ve forgotten her. ?

Personally I wouldn’t have my problem with a dog eating from human dishes - ours often did a very efficient pre-wash before things went in the dishwasher. Almost as good as a Brillo Pad for crispy, dried on bits of fish pie, etc. And she’d keep going at a roasting tin - with any leftover gravy added - until barely a molecule remained.

icanhandthemback Sat 18-Jun-22 11:23:11

How could they forget?

Quite easily, Witzend! It's all too easy to do if at the last minute you get distracted by a phone call or something that makes you rush out the door forgetting to pick up the packed bag. It could be that he thought she had put the bag in the car and vice versa. It could be that they are in the early stages of dementia when little things happen like that but you have no idea of the road you are on. You could be like me, just hopeless. grin

H1954 Sat 18-Jun-22 11:28:41

Fortunately, our close friends don't have dogs but I do know them well enough to know that they wouldn't even ask if they could bring one along when invited to a meal.
Extreme bad manners in my opinion.
Another thing that gets on my nerves is those people who have a small dog, pick it up to show it off and lunge it into people's faces! I've just this morning seen a neighbour do this to an elderly couple who weren't agile enough to move quick enough to prevent the dog licking their faces! Disgusting behaviour on the dog owners part! Dog owners.......please stop it!

hilz Sat 18-Jun-22 11:47:21

Any visiting dog here is welcome to a bowl of water. I have a designated dish. Wouldn't expect to have to feed them but could lay my hand on a dog treat if required too even if it were just a plain bbiscuuit. But to eat from a serving dish would be an absolute no no. Nor would they have the run of the house or be let to jump on my furniture and if it did its business in my garden I would expet its owner to pick up after it.

Caleo Sat 18-Jun-22 12:03:07

I agree, Witzend, that dogs are good dishlickers. This in fact is one of the household chores at which dogs excel, although when the well-licked dish is propelled under the sideboard dogs cannot easily retrieve it, Another good thing visiting dogs do is make sure everyone gets physical exercise throwing a bouncy toy, or walking in the park. They are also good at licking sore spots on the skin after cuts or grazes which is not so much a household chore as medical hygiene . I always hope I have enough dogs in the house to keep any overnight guests warm in their beds.

sodapop Sat 18-Jun-22 13:04:05

Highlanddreams I can understand you don't want to leave your dog unsupervised due to his seizures. However in the case of dogs who are fit and well I think that insisting they accompany you puts your hosts in a very difficult position. Not everyone likes dogs or wishes to have one in their home, they will then be torn between this and not wanting you to miss the event. My dogs are well settled at home when we go out and we never leave them for more than four hours.

AussieNanna Sat 18-Jun-22 13:10:13

Insisting would be rude, I agree.

Just asking and accepting the answer is fine though.

People can ask things as long as they accept if the answer is No.

However people are not mind readers - if someone says Yes, then the dog owners can't blamed for doing what was agreed to.

Witzend Sat 18-Jun-22 14:57:51

Caleo

I agree, Witzend, that dogs are good dishlickers. This in fact is one of the household chores at which dogs excel, although when the well-licked dish is propelled under the sideboard dogs cannot easily retrieve it, Another good thing visiting dogs do is make sure everyone gets physical exercise throwing a bouncy toy, or walking in the park. They are also good at licking sore spots on the skin after cuts or grazes which is not so much a household chore as medical hygiene . I always hope I have enough dogs in the house to keep any overnight guests warm in their beds.

Oh, yes, there’s a lovely birthday card I’ve used more than once - hostess saying to guest, ‘It’s a little chilly so I’ve put an extra dog on your bed.’ ?

In the days when The Times used to publish your address with the letter, I once wrote one about the eminently useful pre-dish-wash talents of dogs - this was a ‘light’ reply to some horrible man who’d said dogs were ‘vermin’.

For some time afterwards I used to get lovely letters from a charming old chap who told me that his two Jack Russells (IIRC) would get right in the dishwasher for a thorough pre-wash!

Blondiescot Sat 18-Jun-22 15:25:31

Dogs are always welcome in our house. People, meh - not so much (and some people, smokers in particular, are a definite no-no!)

highlanddreams Sun 19-Jun-22 14:24:18

sodapop

Highlanddreams I can understand you don't want to leave your dog unsupervised due to his seizures. However in the case of dogs who are fit and well I think that insisting they accompany you puts your hosts in a very difficult position. Not everyone likes dogs or wishes to have one in their home, they will then be torn between this and not wanting you to miss the event. My dogs are well settled at home when we go out and we never leave them for more than four hours.

sodapop

You seem to have misread my post, the dog we have now doesn't have seizures, he passed away a few years ago.

I still don't want to leave my healthy dog behind, because I want him to be with us, not home alone.
I also said in my previous post that if he's not welcome somewhere then we wouldn't go either! I've never insisted he should go where he's not welcome & I never would!

sodapop Sun 19-Jun-22 17:11:37

Sorry I misread your post highlanddreams

echt Mon 20-Jun-22 00:41:47

Dog owner here, and wouldn't dream of even asking.

Actually, now I think of it, a friend offered for me to bring my dog to a Boxing Day BBQ as they anticipated I'd have to cut my visit short to get back to the beast. He was a very well-behaved animal. If my present dog was made the same offer, I'd refuse.

Yet to have uninvited dogs that haven't shat/peed in the house/damaged garden beds.

happycatholicwife1 Mon 20-Jun-22 16:42:11

They are apparently not well versed in manners. Oafish to bring their dog along and absolutely adolescent to even think that should be a thing. People should not take their dogs everywhere with them. They're dogs, not children, and not really a member of the family, either, in the truest sense. If you're in a boat that's going down, are you going to reach for your grandchild or your dog? I would have said not only no, but hell no, to the request to even bring the dog in the first place.

AussieNanna Mon 20-Jun-22 23:27:18

but for some people it is a thing.

Cant see how it is adolescent to ask - as long as the answer of yes or no is accepted

ask anything politely - other person politely answers Yes or No -and you accept the answer

of course you would save a child before a dog - any child not just your own GC - but that wasnt the scenario here.

Deedaa Mon 20-Jun-22 23:56:13

The boat going down scenario doesn't work because of course you would save the child, the dog would be able to swim. If the water's too rough for the dog to swim in you're probably all going to drown anyway.

We didn't take our dog visiting much because he didn't like other dogs and that was obviously a problem if the hosts had a dog. I've never had a problem with friends bringing their dogs with them or with dogs eating off our plates, and I've never caught anything from them .

Blondiescot Tue 21-Jun-22 07:12:57

Sorry but my dog is as much a member of the family as any other - if the boat was going down then yes, I'd reach for my grandchild first, but outwith my very immediate family, if it came down to a choice of the dog or someone else, it'd be the dog every single time.

Kate1949 Tue 21-Jun-22 17:49:53

Dogs are not welcome in our house. Fortunately we only know one person who owns a dog and they have never asked to bring them here.