Relative moving within three doors!

It's amazing they didn't ask if you minded.

How rude not to ask you if you minded! They are space invaders.

Omg what a wind up ! You must be gutted. What does your other half think ?
How did they know exactly where your new house was?! X

I thank the people who understand how I feel with all the research I have done, at a very long way. I am actually moving 20 minutes from a very close aunt and the same to another cousin. I was bought up by my Nan and grandad and value my family. What I don’t like, is the cousin in law drinks during the day (his business) and only a couple but my husband cannot say no so will, and is not nice in drink. The actual cousin feeds off me for recipes, shopping which is lovely but not every day. We are all far too close for me to say only pop in on Saturdays. Plus my husbands twin brother is also close to these cousins but my husband doesn’t talk to him! Writing this highlights the problems are with husbands family so best let him sort it out. Thank you for the positive comments though as I was feeling down. ?

?? It happened to us, moved into a lovely new house and six weeks later our son and daughter in law parents had bought a house ( unbeknown to us) two doors down!! We didn’t know them well and it was horrible. There was grandchildren involved, which set of parents to visit or visit both. Yikes, it was horrible for quite a while . Felt , why did they want to buy so close to us! I personally wouldn’t do that.
But over time things turned out ok. We respected each other space. Grandchildren would visit both houses most visits.
Now we have moved on after six years to another county to enjoy retirement by the sea.?

We lived in the next door flat to my grandparents, who moved in there when I was 4. My dad died when I was 7 and I think it was a big help for my mum, who then went out to work after a bit. I could go back and forward and as only 4 when they arrived and they spoke mostly German I absorbed it and have been fluent since then, which has been very useful. My cousin, 20 years older, lived with them too and I loved being with her.

When my mum went into hospital when I was 15 I stayed in our flat but was able to go next door for meals and they looked after me. When my grandparents got old my mum and I were able to look after them. My gran ate with us every day after my grandfather went into a home and then died. She fell in her 90s and broke a hip and after initial hospital stay came home and we looked after her. I'd moved out, married, had 2 children, but was with her the night she died, giving my mum a night's sleep. I had a 6 month old baby and 2 year old by then but am so pleased I was able to be with my gran. I had loving grandparents who spoiled me rotten next door.

GrammyGrammy
Many would, as many would not, enjoy living near relatives.
Choice

Start as you mean to go on. Invite them over, like oh would you like to come for a bbq Saturday or another time , say If your free Tuesday pop in for coffee… so it’s invitation rather than come anytime … it can be nice having relations close if you are able to have separate lives. I would find it difficult but you’ll have to make a way of making it work or you’ll be stressed and feel smothered x

When I downsized I moved to a house facing my brother and his wife. I did ask them how they felt about it and they said they had no problems . . . and it hasn't been! I have now lived here 2 years and there have been many advantages eg deliveries, help when sick, etc. The first day or 2 was slightly strange as I felt my curtains needed to be open, etc but that passed quickly. I'm more of a night owl so I live my life, my way and they do the same. Occasionally I pop in for a wee chat or to collect a parcel meant for me or vice versa. I live alone and it's definitely handy to know folk are nearby but we definitely don't live in each others' pockets.

I agree with Grammy Grammy - very sad that people feel they don't want family nearby-- maybe they have been lonely and need some family interaction--count your blessings- imagine if there were family who didn't want YOU nearby

You could well shake down into an agreeable neighbourliness with the relatives. You don’t sound as if you hate their guts. It’s hopefully just a case of getting used to living so close. Strength in numbers if one of the other neighbours cuts up awkward about something.

I agree with you Grammy Grammy. I'm apalled at the unfriendliness and talking about having everything locked up and no popping in. Unless the people are truly hideous I don't see a problem.

Nightmare! I hope it falls through and you can breathe a sigh of relief. I would hate it personally. After all that research you put into it, and I do know personally how much it takes out of one, this bombshell !!! Somebody should have a word and soon ?‍?

I saw less of my relatives when they moved closer to me than I saw them before. Just the fact they were so close meant that we didn't have to plan like we did before. I wouldn't worry about it if it were me but as Grandmabatty says, put in strong boundaries.

Why don't people want other people to be close and involved and connected and loving and interactive and being together and living shared lives? Why do you all like living your tiny little lives alone in your little boxes keeping blood relatives away and out of things? I find this resentful, withholding, distancing and lack of familial care and love and warmth disgusting actually and it is a widespread plague. I know it is the norm now but it feels awful to me. Sad and disappointing.

We discouraged at least one close relative from moving close to us. No regrets.

Shhhh. Mum's the word next time.
Careless Talk Costs Lives

You obviously blabbed you were moving

Thank you for all your comments, at least I don’t feel too guilty, my husband and cousin are more like siblings. Your right it was my own fault for “being over enthusiastic”. It’s also a second home for them for the time being. Fingers crossed they don’t as without doubt they will be in and out all day. ?? I am so grateful for your comments as I am so sad that I have done all the hard work and made it very easy for them to make a purchase without any of the usual hassle.

Personally it wouldn’t bother me, better the devil you know and all that. It means you only have 2 new neighbours to worry about.

Plus you’ve bought the bigger house? it would be awful if they had got it first!

Has the relative actually said they are going to move there?
They didn't just say something like "I've chosen my house" as part of light conversation?
(That sort of misunderstanding might sound far-fetched but I've known it to happen.)

my husband’s close relative

How close?

Brother, uncle, cousin, nephew, son?

My immediate reaction would be to back out of the purchase and find somewhere else, but tell no one.

If necessary continue with your sale and rent to cover the gap.

I have a loving and happy family, including cousins and we have an annual gathering, but if any of them suddenly informed me that they had decided to move near me and had bought a house three doors down, I would be very very wary.

You really do not like the relative? I would love several close relatives to live next door or very near.
I think they may just be saying this and not really be prepared to sell their house and then buy another near you and may want your reaction to their news before doing anything.
The house they want may sell quickly and they cannot buy it anyway.

I would not like it - that is too close. You also do not want them to see you leave the house at 9 am and not return for many hours leaving them curtain twitching and wondering where you have been!

oh dear.
bit of a coincidence. or not maybe.
did your husband speak too freely and almost suggest it to them?
anyway, what to do. are you committed, have you exchanged contracts. can you get out of it.