Gransnet forums

AIBU

Neighbour’s party

(100 Posts)
Bankhurst Sat 06-Aug-22 17:44:49

Our next-door-but-one neighbours, whom we hardly know, have put a note through our door to say they are having a party in the garden in two weeks. It will be until 1am and they apologise in advance for ‘the music, the cars and the noise’. I think it’s an imposition, my daughter will be staying that night before a long drive the next day and it’s a quiet road where all lights seem to be out by 10.30. DH says to say nothing - it reminds him of his youth. He’s 79! AIBU to ask them to stop at 11, or 12 as a compromise?

f77ms Wed 10-Aug-22 15:23:15

Aldom

Boots the chemist sell three pairs of earplugs for £4.99.
The party is absolutely not something to get worked up about.
I'd put a note through your neighbours door, thanking them for their thoughtfulness and wishing them a happy evening. It may be a special occasion in their lives for all you know.

well said , I agree !

Saetana Tue 09-Aug-22 23:00:41

Unless they make a habit of having parties then I would leave it be. Its not their fault that your daughter happens to be visiting that day - if you feel she will have trouble sleeping then suggest she brings some earplugs. It is considerate of them to let you know well in advance so yes I am afraid you are being unreasonable flowers

HeavenLeigh Tue 09-Aug-22 21:30:11

You would actually consider asking them to stop at 11 or 12 , this has got to be a wind up surely! Simply because your daughter is coming over, I’d be very grateful you have some lovely neighbours that have the decency to warn you, and good on your husband it sounds as if he will enjoy it

Mapleleaf Tue 09-Aug-22 21:13:11

Another poster who starts a post then disappears into the ether…

Janetashbolt Tue 09-Aug-22 20:59:46

don't come and live here, parties from midday to 2 or 3am, several at once all playing different music, the poor council noise abatement people are run off their feet. PS we never get an invite either

Nannabumble70 Tue 09-Aug-22 20:51:24

YABU

Nannina Tue 09-Aug-22 19:04:28

I wouldn’t say anything and be thankful you’ve got such considerate neighbours- there’s many who have to live with constant parties without any thought for those nearby. Can you not sleep at the front of the house that night or use ear plugs

pascal30 Tue 09-Aug-22 17:48:26

Your husband sounds lovely,listen to him...

Mouseybrown60 Tue 09-Aug-22 17:28:04

Bankhurst has messaged on gransnet many times before so I don’t think the post is a wind up.
I expect that she hasn’t returned to her post as some of the replies have been rather hostile to say the least.

crissy Tue 09-Aug-22 17:14:55

Good grief!!! Am I the only one who thinks this is a wind up?

Shandy3 Tue 09-Aug-22 16:55:21

Whether you ask or not doesn't mean they haveto take notice!
I feel you are being unreasonable, they had no idea of your daughters plans, and after all that's just a coincidence.
Let it go, you'll have years of living next door to them, do you really want to make those years difficult? Or do you want to bite the bullet and let it go?
Your daughter could always wear nice soft ear plugs.

Callistemon21 Tue 09-Aug-22 16:44:11

AIBU to ask them to stop at 11, or 12 as a compromise?

Yes, I'm afraid that you are.

Your daughter's plans are really nothing to do with them and their party and they have been considerate enough to apologise in advance for any inconvenience which may be caused.

ALANaV Tue 09-Aug-22 16:38:35

NO ...its a question of live and let live !!!!!! they gave you advance warning which is very considerate of them, so you could make appropriate arrangements if you do not like it !!! I think it is really lovely of them to tell you in advance, rather than having you feeling it necessary (if you are of a mind !!) to complain about the noise to the Police or the Council !!!! You can get cheap earplugs in Boots ............or sit in your garden, invite friends, and 'join in' Your husband is right ..you were young once and I dare say some of your activies annoyed others whether you realised it or not !!! We are a long time dead ................grin

Sara1954 Tue 09-Aug-22 16:37:11

Gosh I’m glad you aren’t my neighbor, I agree, they seem very considerate, say nothing, you’ll only look like a mean spirited kill joy.

Shazmo24 Tue 09-Aug-22 16:34:57

They have written you a polite note to warn you...how are they supposed to know that your daughter is staying that night??? Just warn her to bring ear plugs...

nexus63 Tue 09-Aug-22 16:22:44

they have given you 2 weeks notice and you are moaning about it, i could understand if it was every week, yes YABVU, if you or your daughter are that bothered then buy some earplugs, i feel sorry for the neighbours in your street.

sazz1 Tue 09-Aug-22 15:23:54

We always invited neighbours to our party usually for a birthday celebration. Also had lots of family coming for barbecue and Halloween. Neighbours would pop in for an hour with a gift for DGD or DC, or stay for a beer and burger. Most we ever had was 44 + 1 trick or treat kid who ran in sat down and played pass the parcel with the other children. Mum on the doorstep was invited in too. After the DC went home or to bed the party often continued until 2am or 3am.
You are very unreasonable OP. Live and let live as you never know when you may need help one day.

Anneeba Tue 09-Aug-22 14:39:17

Has OP gone into hibernation? Maybe stay there until after the party?

11unicorn Tue 09-Aug-22 14:26:45

I too think your neighbours are very considerate in letting you in advance of their party plans.
Your neighbours could not know that your daughter will be there and has to get up earlier, it's not that they have planned it deliberate on that day. If you are worried about your daughters sleep, why not book her into a B&B or Hotel for the night.

Gabrielle56 Tue 09-Aug-22 14:09:26

Short answer: YES! You're extremely lucky to have such consideration from a relatively new neighbour!! How would you like a neighbour dictate to you about curfew on activities? This is UK not ussr!

Bluefox Tue 09-Aug-22 13:55:39

So long as it’s not a regular occurrence and therefore a nuisance they are absolutely entitled to have a party. I’m sorry but I think you would be being unreasonable to ask them to end their party early.

icanhandthemback Tue 09-Aug-22 13:54:41

thomasina34

Oh for gods sake lighten up a bit, you have had advance notice and you have been invited. It is a one off party. It is miserable buggers like you that cause the arguments

Is there any reason to be so rude? It is rude people like you which make a pleasant forum so unpleasant.

thomasina34 Tue 09-Aug-22 13:50:40

Oh for gods sake lighten up a bit, you have had advance notice and you have been invited. It is a one off party. It is miserable buggers like you that cause the arguments

Babs758 Tue 09-Aug-22 13:41:53

Our new neighbours popped round the other day to inform us of their son’s 18th birthday party next month. We thanked them for telling us and asked if they were going be there. “Definitely!” They said. They will keep out of the way but keep an eye on things. Sounds fair enough.

Nannapat1 Tue 09-Aug-22 13:41:48

1am is not late and they were courteous in letting you know. Yes, you are being unreasonable.