Guest has come down with Covid...

It's difficult to know how bad he is. He took himself off for a 6-mile walk yesterday and is thinking he might do something similar today.

My husband/ partner (we've lived together for 21 years and have been married for two for tax and inheritance purposes, but I don't like the words husband or wife) decided this morning to go away for a few days in our camper van and leave me and the lad to it. He's had Covid before and still hasn't got his sense of taste back, or his energy, so he's anxious about catching it, even though we are all wearing masks when we're around each other and I'm disinfecting surfaces etc.

So I'm here feeling a bit hot and cold and fluey, with our visitor busy on a spare laptop we found for him. I asked him if he's looking for accommodation because he'll need it next week and he's looked at me like an abused puppy.

For those of you who have young adult grandchildren maybe this is normal, but it's not for us.

Well if he had been coming down with/suffering from Covid he is likely not feeling his best and I doubt he has been at his best for the past week

I'd just leave him alone

Dear Margot, why on earth did you not just hand him the laundry bag back, and tell him to fill the washing-machine, and then guide him through setting it going?

This has always worked for me, when visitors are staying. The young are usually a little taken-aback, I admit.

Saturday now, so Tuesday will soon be here - but will he really be well enough to travel on Tuesday?

Keep him until he has no COVID symptoms. Then draw the line stop going to them as guests and stop receiving them to your home. Good luck

Oh dear, he’s rather enjoying it where he is then until he gets a better offer. I’m sorry for you as I’m a soft touch who has regular visitors and sometimes it’s the least likely that are the best.

I feel your pain MargotLedbetter! We had similar donkey's years ago, obviously pre Covid and the young man was definitely well under 23. He was ' encouraged' to go when one of my then young children had a vomiting bug, the sounds of which were clearly audible from his bedroom! I refused to have him back for Round 2, telling DH that he could make up whatever excuse he wanted!
Lots of sound advice and comments here. I would just add my voice to say that at 23 he is certainly not a child, nor even a teen and should be acting as an adult.

It's poor Margot who has caught something, possibly Covid! So she's not feeling the best while still trying to provide food and drink!

why are you waiting on him if he is not that ill with covid he should be doing his own washing he may be related but he is also an adlt and if it was agreed he would be staying for a week then once he tests ok ask him when he intends to leave if he will not give an answer then tell him when he must leave sorry but the longer you pander to him the longer he will stay

Bearing in mind that Margot's DH is having to hide away while still unwell from his attack of covid and that Margot may yet become ill with it.

He's had a breathing space of family-type accommodation with Margot.
Now he needs to pull himself together, realise this is not his family home and decide what to do next.
Has he discussed it all with his parents? I think he and/or you should do that, Margot.

I’m beginning to feel rather sorry for this young man - probably tired, feeling rough, miles from home and friends- one of my second cousins from Australia landed on us once - and because we were all the same family - albeit a bit distant- he treated our house as his home- He did much the same as this guy is doing Margot- then many years later, I had the same from my own children - eg dumping wet towels on the floor, leaving bags and stuff all over the place etc and now grandchildren on the phone or screen most of the time - not very communicative- it must be difficult not having an endgame but perhaps when he feels better and when you do, you can sort something out. Good luck.

If he'seating that amount of food last night I would say he is well on the way to full recovery. You should be honest and tell him you now need your own space and to get on with your life. You have given him a safe,nurturing space, checked that he has enough money and it is now time that he respects your needs..take him to the nearest bus station... asap

Maybe suggest he head for southern Europe - Spain or Portugal? Probably more young people around and much cheaper. I think he definitely needs a few firm signposts!

He was very welcome when he arrived, dogsmother. I'd taken annual leave from work to be around, take him out and about (we live quite rurally and it's difficult to get anywhere without being able to drive) and so on — as we would with most guests. We cancelled a planned weekend away to accommodate him when he contacted us.

Talking to him over dinner last night (main, sides and pudding with wine or beer) it would seem that he's had four months of wandering around Europe on buses and trains with various groups of young people. Now he's come to the UK and the people he thought he'd meet up with in London aren't there, the person he sofa-surfed with for a week asked him to move on (so he came here) and he has no idea what he's going to do next.

I've asked about his financial situation and he says he has money but he doesn't want to waste it on unnecessary accommodation. He was eating his third helping of apple crumble at the time and was a bit disappointed because we've run out of ice-cream...

I m not being rude Argy I certainly didn’t mean it that way it puzzled me, it was an observation , the poster referred to DH in her first post then halfway down talked about her ‘partner’ most people don’t call their husband a partner or vice versa
It intrigued me

He’s probably broke too. Unwelcome, unwell and broke. I don’t mean to sound rude but probably is feeling the vibe.

How long is he planning to travel around Europe/the world for? I wonder is he getting a bit fed up and homesick if he doesn't have any firm plans.

Can you have a chat with him over the weekend- if he doesn't know what he's doing next, maybe he should just go home?

BlueBelle

How come your Darling husband has now become your partner?

Ouch! Why so rude?!

Speak to his parents.
He was due to leave this Thursday so he should be prepared to leave when he is negative for covid.
He can't expect to just hang on indefinitely until he can scrounge somewhere to stay for free.

As he’s had covid since Tuesday this week and the hostel booking is Tuesday next week that’s 2 days over the recommended 5 days Jaylou

As he has Covid, I don't think booking into a hostel is the best cause of action. You have obviously now been exposed, whereas trying to get him into a London hostel (while still ill) is deliberately exposing a lot of other people (especially as London is now so crowded), and that doesn't sit right.
You are in an unfortunate situation, but it won't last forever.

How come your Darling husband has now become your partner?

MargotLedbetter

As far as I'm aware in this part of the UK there are very few requirements for those with Covid. They suggest you isolate but there's no compulsion if you feel okay. There's also nothing about having to have two clear covid tests before venturing back out into the world that I can see.

He's actually just taken himself off out for a walk. The sun's shining and it's a beautiful day and he spent most of yesterday in his room. We're in the countryside so he can keep well away from anyone he encounters. I presume he'll also take the opportunity to speak to his friends. Our house is quite open plan and it can be difficult to have a private conversation.

These are the Scottish Government suggestions. You only need 2 negative tests if you work in NHS.

Could you contact his parents and explain the situation? They may be able to speak to him more firmly than you are able to do.

I think some plain speaking may be in order Margot, otherwise you’ll still have a ‘guest’ this time next week, if not longer.