Guest has come down with Covid...

I don't know. A few days ago I found him a highly recommended London hostel that has a room available from Tuesday and he said he'd investigate. When my partner asked him gently whether he'd booked it or come up with an alternative he went very quiet and eventually admitted he hadn't. He had a chat with me while I made dinner and just dropped into the conversation that he's waiting till a contact of his who's been away returns to London: he's hoping he'll be able to sleep on the floor there. I asked when the friend was due back in London and he didn't know.

My partner is growing increasing fed-up with the situation. We can't just accommodate him until a free bed space in London becomes available. You can't expect to travel the world for free, surely?

The bad news is that I've developed a low fever and have what feels like the start of a cold, so I may have caught Covid from him. My partner is spending 23 hours a day in another room to avoid me and my visitor...

With luck he will disappear quietly and quickly. He must know he's outstaying his welcome.

As far as I'm aware in this part of the UK there are very few requirements for those with Covid. They suggest you isolate but there's no compulsion if you feel okay. There's also nothing about having to have two clear covid tests before venturing back out into the world that I can see.

He's actually just taken himself off out for a walk. The sun's shining and it's a beautiful day and he spent most of yesterday in his room. We're in the countryside so he can keep well away from anyone he encounters. I presume he'll also take the opportunity to speak to his friends. Our house is quite open plan and it can be difficult to have a private conversation.

If he has suspected covid he should not be going anywhere until he is feeling better. If he has tested then he should isolate for 5 days from the day after testing. He sounds like a normal 23 year old and if he is not well then just make sure he has drinks and food as required. I felt bad for 3 days - couldn't have gone anywhere - then felt ok after that. At that time you had to have 2 negative tests before going out. If he tested today then shouldn't go anywhere till Tuesday.

Let's hope it's not going to be long covid.

Grammaretto

Yes wildswan a good suggestion -a reminder that you have a life even if he doesn't seem to.
Are his parents close relatives Margot?

His mum's my cousin. She and her husband spent a couple of years in the UK and we had holidays together in Europe and weekends away all over the UK when we were all younger. They were good guests. We have FaceTime sessions three or four times a year, and WA chats every week or two.

They travelled to the UK overland via China in the 90s, and went back via South America. Their son doesn't seem to have that level of interest in the world.

But no one’s doubting you or your hosting Margaret maybe the young man didn’t feel well from the start, as he’s now down with CoviD
Maybe he’s just not one of your successes, don’t dwell on it He ll be moving on soon and don’t invite him again
Life is made up of successes and failures it wasn’t your failure it just didn’t fit

BlueBelle

Clearly he’s not a close relative as you say you ve stayed briefly with his parents (not with my cousin/aunt/in law etc)

You can’t take him out anywhere this weekend if he has CoviD so just look after him as much as needed and leave him to his room and phone etc hopefully he’s well enough to move on Tuesday
Make sure he’s got food drink and his bed and carry on with your weekend as you wish (you better test before you go out and about though as chances are you may well get CoviD too)

If he’s spent months travelling, he’s probably tired and had enough of sightseeing (with other teens/young people hes met in youth hostels etc) and doesn’t need an older couple taking him out and about and don’t forget before he tested positive he may have been ill a day or two and tired
I think you’re expecting too much of a 23 year old who s been
travelling to want to sightsee in U.K. for a week

I m afraid if someone is a guest in my house I expect to cook and wash for them, obviously not if they were staying for months or a paying guest
When my grandkids come over I always do their washing as I deem them on holiday and I want to look after them
Each to their own

I'm an experienced host, a good cook and I look after guests well. We live in a beautiful area that a lot of people come to for holidays and we get lots of people staying. They come and stay because they want to be here with us, not because they want to sit around all week.

He expressed an interest in history and wanted to see some old places, and some dramatic landscapes, to photograph. If he had other interests we would have tried to accommodate them. He may be in this beautiful and interesting area for the first and last time in his life. It seems like a wasted opportunity not to see what's around here.

wow 'I think you’re expecting too much of a 23 year old who s been travelling to want to sightsee in U.K. for a week '

he is 23, not 15! What was the point in coming then, and put upon relatives to host him?

Clearly he’s not a close relative as you say you ve stayed briefly with his parents (not with my cousin/aunt/in law etc)

You can’t take him out anywhere this weekend if he has CoviD so just look after him as much as needed and leave him to his room and phone etc hopefully he’s well enough to move on Tuesday
Make sure he’s got food drink and his bed and carry on with your weekend as you wish (you better test before you go out and about though as chances are you may well get CoviD too)

If he’s spent months travelling, he’s probably tired and had enough of sightseeing (with other teens/young people hes met in youth hostels etc) and doesn’t need an older couple taking him out and about and don’t forget before he tested positive he may have been ill a day or two and tired
I think you’re expecting too much of a 23 year old who s been
travelling to want to sightsee in U.K. for a week

I m afraid if someone is a guest in my house I expect to cook and wash for them, obviously not if they were staying for months or a paying guest
When my grandkids come over I always do their washing as I deem them on holiday and I want to look after them
Each to their own

to be honest, i think i'd find being dragged around old places quite boring too.
he probably feels he has to humour you.
but then again i would not stay, land on anyone like that.
it's tricky for you, as i can imagine that you didn't want to leave him alone in the house while you went to work.
maybe in future, if you agree to anyone coming again, make clear that you can only do 3 days=2 nights, over weekend, as you have to go to work.
at a push you could take one day off, but maybe not tell them that.
tell them what time you will be dropping them at the bus station on 3rd day.
don't ask vaguely about their plans; don't drop hints; take control and set the agenda.
and certainly do no washing for them. set the machine to 40 degree synthetics wash, and shew them the on switch.
don't encourage them to treat you as staff.
good luck.

Stay At Home Mum/Mother.

I'm 60 and normally work 4 days a week. We've talked about work and he knows I've taken time off to take him around because I figure this may be his only visit to my part of the country, but there's no apparent inkling that it might be ever so slightly inconvenient or anything...

I'm trying to chill out about it, but it's messed up all my plans for the weekend.

stay at home mother

What’s a SAHM ? I m sorry I need written English too ignorant to bother working it out
Anyway back to the problem Phones are books/tvs and libraries for this generation no different there to any tonic person
When I had CoviD while staying at my youngest daughters whilst not horrendously ill I felt tired and miserable and wanted to be home so spent most of the time in the bedroom not wanting to pass it round (which I did anyway) and on my iPad
Tuesdays only round the corner but if he’s only tested positive today he could still be ill on Tuesday ?‍?

I'm not particularly close to his parents, but when they came over in their 20s and lived and worked here (they lived for a few months with an elderly aunt, poor woman, before getting jobs and finding their own place) they were a bit older and there were the two of them and they were more independent. They drove, for example, and bought an old car as soon as they arrived. So less of the ferrying around that I've been doing. They were both professionals — she a teacher, he an engineer.

I've stayed with this young man's parents a couple of times when I've visited NZ. But I've never asked or wanted to stay more than two or three nights at the maximum, and I've taken wine and flowers and taken the family out to dinner while I've been there. I prefer, actually, to find somewhere to stay nearby and just visit. I think a couple of hours at a time — enough to talk and bond but not long enough for it to feel like work — is less stressful.

I do think perhaps they come here to chill out after weeks of travelling. Laundry, food and access to free wifi and streaming services are possibly all that matters. My insistence on dragging them to see cathedrals and historic houses and ancient burial sites must bore them stupid.

We had a French student for four weeks who had been brought up by his mum and granny. Really sulky and off hand. Found later he was sent here because he didn’t do well in his English exams!
When my son started university he shared with seven others. They referred to him as the Soft Southern Poofter till they needed his help to use the oven, washing machine and microwave! Not one of them had a clue! Most are still friends 25 years later. Hard to imagine sending them out into the world so clueless.

i think you have become known as a soft touch, OP, among the extended family.
you don't have to be.

You sound very kind to accommodate all these young visitors, especially as you say you had no children of your own.

I hate to sound cynical, but do you think these visitors are taking you for granted?

“ Oh, Auntie Margot will be glad to have you stay for a few days. She’ll do your washing, cook you some nice meals…..”

When he's a bit better show him how to use a washing machine! A rich friend had a machine installed near their bedrooms, from the age of 16 they were responsible for their own school uniforms!

Yes wildswan a good suggestion -a reminder that you have a life even if he doesn't seem to.
Are his parents close relatives Margot?

I think you also need to remember that Covid can make you feel very tired, even for a young person. Just keep giving him drinks and easy to eat food, and let him do his own thing.

If he's been travelling for four months, he will be well used to sorting out his travel and accommodation. Just leave him to it, but perhaps find an excuse to ask him what day he will be leaving as you "need to do something/go somewhere" !

I just don't get it. They pay thousands to get here and then they just sit around sending messages to friends — something they could have done at home. I'm going to have to think more carefully about any future visits. One of the ones we had previously came for five nights, which we agreed to, then asked to stay a little longer. Eventually left after 11 days and only because we were due to go away for the weekend and I told her she wasn't staying in the house on her own.

I would just leave him be and put up with it over the weekend...As you say he will be gone by Tuesday...All young people just sit on their phones....It seems to be their happy place...I do this with my GD...If she wants anything she asks me....I don't suggest going out or taking her anywhere as she says "I'm not to bothered granny"....My daughter tells her off but I say to leave her be....Shes happy.

Absolutely normal, however, he can do own washing and food prep, including tidying up.

Oh yes Margot I'm afraid it is normal.
DH and I hosted over 200 Help Exchange volunteers from all over and occasionally we got an ungrateful so and so one who took us for granted but usually they were helpful and charming.
I silently praised their parents for bringing them up so well.
He may just be feeling too unwell to be on his best behaviour.