Holidays with in laws -need to say no

Well done, Gwiz. Hope you feel better soon.

Congratulations and good luck shaking off your cough ASAP!

Hey cabbie21. We told them Xmas was a no go with us and that we are planning a trip to the USA next year and that’s done the trick. Honestly such a relief. Now if I could just persuade this bloody chesty cough to sod off I would be thrilled !

vegansrock

Sorry posted in wrong thread.!

Ok! ?

Duty done have a holiday to yourselves next year.

Sorry posted in wrong thread.!

The above is to Callistermon

Just guessing, but I think the post might have been intended for the thread about soup and a roll for £1.00 in Asda.

Just had a week away with my sister and her husband. We rented a house and they rented another nrarby.....almost perfect.

Mollygo

vegansrock

I’m horrified by sewage in the sea, the destruction of the natural world and the climate crisis, amongst other things. I would not be horrified by a few derogatory remarks, based on experience, of a supermarket cafe.

I don’t get this post.

Me neither ?

vegansrock

I’m horrified by sewage in the sea, the destruction of the natural world and the climate crisis, amongst other things. I would not be horrified by a few derogatory remarks, based on experience, of a supermarket cafe.

I don’t get this post.

Say what?

I’m horrified by sewage in the sea, the destruction of the natural world and the climate crisis, amongst other things. I would not be horrified by a few derogatory remarks, based on experience, of a supermarket cafe.

Gwiz5

*UPDATE* BIG GIRL PANTS WORN*
Hello you lovely lot, so thanks to all of
You that took time to respond and give support . I have had the chat , my OH is on board , no to Xmas no more holidays and a revision of the expectation to stay here whenever they get invited by the sil ( reads as : nope not here but there are some lovely b+bs nearby )
It surprised me that OH was actually as peed off with it as I was.
I’m still poorly ?. But we arrived home yesterday and they are leaving to go back to their own home now .. thank the stars.

Well done you. Wonderful conclusion.

Hi .
Poor you .
This is your holiday.
I would say no -easier said than done .
Some relatives are such poor company or totally exhausting.
I was so relieved when a family member cancelled a self catering holiday .
She can't cook .
I would have be stuck with endless baby sitting .
I really love kids , but I need a break .
She nit picks and loses her temper with me .
I was actually dreading it .
I even thought of feigning an illness .
Yes , really !

Well done!
Glad your DH is onside. Have you actually told the in-laws yet?

Azalea99 -I wouldn’t go on a cruise as I am rubbish on the water ! Hotels are indeed Lovely and we have for own own separate holidays gone to some very nice hotels for our usual annual May sojourn for our anniversary in many other countries.

UPDATE BIG GIRL PANTS WORN*
Hello you lovely lot, so thanks to all of
You that took time to respond and give support . I have had the chat , my OH is on board , no to Xmas no more holidays and a revision of the expectation to stay here whenever they get invited by the sil ( reads as : nope not here but there are some lovely b+bs nearby )
It surprised me that OH was actually as peed off with it as I was.
I’m still poorly ?. But we arrived home yesterday and they are leaving to go back to their own home now .. thank the stars.

I’m concerned that DH might make any holiday without his parents rather unpleasant. The fact you appear to have always self-catered may indicate that funds won’t stretch to a hotel or cruise, which would relieve you of the slavery, so I think you may have to put on a prolonged act. Complain of tiredness at the end of most days, talk of going to the doctor, etc, so that he takes your side & becomes more understanding. Also, could you decide to redecorate the spare bedroom, pile everything up in readiness….. then just feel too tired to get on with it, at least until after Christmas? It’s dishonest but saves giving offence.

Do you really have to agree to a 10 day break? I suspect its now an expectation and you may have made a rod for your own back by not allowing help in the kitchen so perhaps a hotel break for just a few days would work out better. If not, then I'm afraid you either have to put up and shut up or say you are finding your holiday isn't as restful for you as you would like now and its too long so can you drop it or make it shorter. Its always hard when its family or friends but not impossible to tweak it and for you to find some enjoyment from it. Good luck.

Easy......say not on your life.

I think you missed a golden opportunity post Covid. Lots of people I know have been revisiting habitual family arrangements. I think you need to engage your Sil and husband in a discussion about shouldering the future arrangements on a equal shared basis and take it turns so that you ALL tell your in laws what future invitations will look like and you all sing from same hymn sheet. I.e shorter visits and with stays with different family members and with some holidays taken without them, as you need a proper break yourself.

I tolerated having my late mother in law every Christmas for a week stay every year and a week in the summer for years and sometimes for Easter as well. She was no trouble but I resented having to use my annual leave from a demanding job to act as hostess/caterer/cleaner. The most annoying thing was that my birthday fell during her Xmas stay but she never offered once to baby sit to allow me and my husband an evening off. I felt taken for granted by not only my mother in law but by husband and the rest of his family as he had 4 married brothers. It was a contributory factor in an eventual late divorce which I would not wish upon anyone.

I don't know about holidays with the in-laws. It is certainly not a good idea to live too close to them, as I found out to my cost. See My House: a mini memoir on Booksie.com

18 Years!! my god you deserve a medal. Please stick to your guns and say no, enough is enough. If your hubby doesn't agree let him go on holiday with them. You are not getting any younger, no offence!! but so are they and they will only get worse. Good luck to you!!

It’s a big fat no from me, to be honest I wouldn’t have put up with that if I had problem in the first instance, never mind carrying it on for years and years absolute bonkers!