What do you think....

I'm assuming the younger one is wanting the older one to eat the same as the younger one.
If this is so I would put only the things the older one likes in the cupboard and remove the other cereals.
Maybe the younger one will find something new to like and stop this bullying of the older sibling.

This is all pretty grim though.

Thank goodness the older one has somewhere to turn. I wonder if your friend could have the older one visit alone now and again for a bit of a break?

Do the whole family visit at once? What do the parents eat?

Does everyone behave differently if only the father is with the children? Or if only the mother?

You say the father is afraid.
Do you think he wants to leave and is controlled by the mother? It's quite possible that the father is also emotionally abused which would explain his lack of intervention.
I know he may just not be a good-enough parent... but it's worth thinking about this.
Or maybe the mother/stepmother is ok and it's actually him?

Is the older child visiting their mother at all? I hope there is some respite for them.

Are they at school? Is there a breakfast club I wonder?

I'm sure this is more than just eating... I hope a good school/preschool is involved if social care are not.

I agree very much best option at the moment that your friend remains the trusted and loving friend. Because its doing so much good for the older child.

I have a bit of a left field suggestion. If it seems to be very bad, ask friend to sound record - discreetly, testimony, on their mobile. Anything relevant. Should things get worse she will have actual evidence.

I'm concerned father "won't stand up to wife" in terms of the Child's wellbeing, but we never really know what goes on being closed doors, do we?

What a strange and unfair way to tret the older child. The younger child is obviously used to getting his/her own way, and the parents sound absolutely hopeless.

it was obvious what the family set up was and it was common years ago Hithere and it was cruel and abusive then and it still is now

if it was my biological child that was being denied food I would not let them go there

I actually don't blame the new wife either, the Dad should have a set of balls to deal with the situation presented to his own child or just not have him over to avoid any more harm at the moment

On its own it's not a reporting matter, although it is unnecessarily unkind.
However there's every chance it's not the only example of how the older child is unfairly treated by the father and stepmother. So sad.

At this time I think all your friend can do is listen to the older child and build a trusting relationship with them. They need someone on their side.

Next time the family visit, maybe a variety pack of little boxes of cereals, all different, might prevent this particular scenario happening?
Or at the very least, your friend could hide the hated cornflakes in her wardrobe until they've all gone home!

A case of hopeless parenting, I’d have thought. I had a friend whose child was allowed to learn that if she screamed and roared for long enough, her mother would invariably give in to whatever she wanted. Maddening to witness! Especially the child’s triumphant beam once she’d won yet again.

I dare say many of us have done it on occasion, for the sake of P&Q, but it sounds as if those parents need to toughen up considerably.

Hi. I’m on here and can’t see it myself.

Why are there 'Gransnet videos' after Forsythia's post? Never seen that on here before. Can anyone else see it? Or is it just me?

It is not a reporting issue, it is parents giving in to the younger child for a quiet life. Unfair to the older child and not good parenting.

No, I havent witnessed it. My friend, who is related to them told me. Shes worried about repercussions for the older child if she tackles parents. The older child confides in my friend.. and she worries for the older child and is very supportive of older childs worries

It sounds like emotional abuse User. If this is something you are witnessing first hand, can you not speak to the parent and step parent?

They are related as the older child is a product of a previous relationship the father had. The second child is a product of the father and his new wife. I feel the older child will be on here estranged from her father one day. I cannot imagine being made to eat something I dont like ,as a child, just for survival in a dysfunctional marriage. The father is scared of his wife

What an extremely unpleasant existence for the older child! You don't mention the ages of the children or if they are step-siblings. Either way, the behaviour of the younger child is totally unacceptable and quite how the parents are allowing this to continues beggars belief.

Without full context, cannot call it emotional abuse yet

Is it fair? Doesnt seem to

Is there any other info that may influence this and you are not aware

Calling it emotional abuse may be an overreaction and reporting it - no way it is a reporting offense.

I am honestly surprised at the standards previous generations raised their kids (now adults) and how those previous generations do not see abuse in the past but how they perceive it now

That is without a doubt a form of emotional abuse, not to mention cruelty.

You mention a stepparent and the older child ‘coming to stay’. Does the older child normally reside elsewhere and are the two children siblings or half/step siblings?

Sounds strange to me. Are they relatives?

Yes emotional abuse towards both children I’d say.

I'd be angry, too.

It seems totally unreasonable.

It is a form of cruelty