Older partner's driving

Recently, on a dark wet evening, I began to feel fearful - after 62 years of driving in all kinds of conditions. I decided, as soon as I reached home, that I would drive in the dark only on roads I knew well and in favourable conditions. Your husband, gagajo needs to have this kind of self-awareness and, if not, at least to listen to your informed opinion. Next time he goes for an eye test, perhaps you could go with him and ask the optomotrist their opinion.

GagaJo

He is quite a bit older than me and his driving is deteriorating. Late breaking. Not being able to see the lanes properly. Flustered in traffic etc.

The other night, we were going out, and I said I'd only go if I could drive. He was OK with this (meant he could drink) BUT then asked me why.

And I was honest. His night vision isn't as good now. It was a very wet night. And he drives too fast. He was OK with my answer at first, but later, he got angry.

Was I unreasonable?

No. Not at all unreasonable.

His anger, well - he'll have to get over it. It is a bit of a shock to the ego when you have to face up to the fact that you are no longer the capable driver you previously were.

My partner only drives locally now and is confident navigating our small town. Longer journeys are definitely out because he finds it difficult to focus and concentrate, and ultimately accepted the fact that he cannot safely do it.

Ask your OH how he would feel if he killed or seriously injured someone - could he live with that? It's a question that concentrates the mind.

I'm 81 and am going to renew my DL - because I am very confident on the road (I love driving) - even at night. But the moment I feel the slightest hesitation, I will stop immediately. The thought of being responsible for the death or injury to someone is the stuff of nightmares for me.

RoSPA do a free Assessment course for pensioners. I booked myself in for it and found it enormously helpful . If you look at it as a lesson rather than a test and ask questions (for example I needed help in reversing in narrow country lanes) you can learn a lot.
The highway code has changed since I learned to drive and the young lady was very pleasant and very helpful.
They can't ban you from driving, nor can they report you as unfit - so you've nothing to lose.
The worst they can do is recommend you to take a few lessons.

Chacun à son goût!

VSPs ............. are faster than tractors, combine harvesters and groups of cyclists which can also pose a hazard on bendy rural roads and as a car driver one should be alert to the needs of other road users.

Not in our part of France with a fair number of long staaight roads that roll up hills and down. I would say most tractors can outspeed a VSP, especially on the hills, and they drive at a steady speed. Ditto combine harvesters, steady but slow speed.

The problem with VSP's, is their immensely variable speed and imprecise steering, makes it exceedingly difficult for responsible drivers who respect other road users to deal with them.

no. definitely not for the uk.
an accessible mini bus would be much better, kind of expanded dial-a-ride.

Of course there are accidents involving VSPs but they require insurance and are not allowed on motorways, they are faster than tractors, combine harvesters and groups of cyclists which can also pose a hazard on bendy rural roads and as a car driver one should be alert to the needs of other road users. The fact is they are increasingly popular in France with a 73% increase in new sales of VSPs Jan to Sept 2021 compared with the same period in 2019 and Citroen has now launched an electric version. One also has to bear in mind that there are an estimated 770,000 unlicensed drivers in France in charge of far more lethal vehicles than the speed-limited, lightweight VSPs. Given the increasingly inadequate rural bus services in UK I think they should be considered for access to shops. GP surgeries and other venues.

Grantanow

In France it is quite common for people to have the voiture sans permis and if you were born before 1987 you just need to be insured; if younger you need the brevet by taking a road safety theory test - no actual driving required. There are about 13,000 VSPs registered. There's no age limit. They are an effective means of keeping people mobile in rural areas (even if disqualified from driving otherwise). Given the lack of bus services etc., it seems a sensible idea that could be looked at for the UK. My late aunt got her full licence in 1934 before testing was introduced in the UK, drove all her life till 80 and never had an accident. Her husband, my uncle who was a garage owner, similarly. There are plenty of licensed poor drivers of all ages - and a good driver at any age could have a unanticipated heart attack or stroke at speed on the motorway - but we don't suggest they should give up driving or insist they should be retested say every 5 years. And of course anyone can ride a horse on the road without a licence of any kind.

An absolute nightmare and shouldn't be on the road. True menace, driving at very low speed, and encouraging others to overtake as they block roads, and cause so many accidents.

For other drivers the VSPs are terrifying. Little grossly underpowered vehicles that look like the old Morgans. On hills they sometimes go so slow you expect them to start to role backwards. The steering is imprecise, or the drivers cannot steer very well.

When ever we come up behind them we keep very well behnd them and overtake with as much tarmac as possible between us and them. The one advantage of them being so slow is that they are easy to overtake, but in a hilly area like where we have our house the variable speeds, crawling up hills and seemingly rolling down hills at speed, to come to almost a complete halt on the next hill is, as I said quite terrifying to watch or drive behind.

In France it is quite common for people to have the voiture sans permis and if you were born before 1987 you just need to be insured; if younger you need the brevet by taking a road safety theory test - no actual driving required. There are about 13,000 VSPs registered. There's no age limit. They are an effective means of keeping people mobile in rural areas (even if disqualified from driving otherwise). Given the lack of bus services etc., it seems a sensible idea that could be looked at for the UK. My late aunt got her full licence in 1934 before testing was introduced in the UK, drove all her life till 80 and never had an accident. Her husband, my uncle who was a garage owner, similarly. There are plenty of licensed poor drivers of all ages - and a good driver at any age could have a unanticipated heart attack or stroke at speed on the motorway - but we don't suggest they should give up driving or insist they should be retested say every 5 years. And of course anyone can ride a horse on the road without a licence of any kind.

I think it's got more to do with people being stuck in their ways - and worried about losing their 'independence' when they have to stop driving. I've never felt the need to have a car - and don't feel 'dependent' in any way.

Grantanow, no thanks - I really don't think allowing anyone to drive without a licence is acceptable.

You'd have to live somewhere very remote to have no taxi service, wouldn't you? I don't understand why people think they're expensive, either - as running a car is expensive. You'd have to go out an awful lot to be out of pocket.

HeavenLeigh I was not attacking you, but up until then the thread had been all about the faults of older drivers and I think we often need to be reminded that bad driving is not just a function of age and older drivers are not uniquely bad. Other age groups also contain a lot of poor or dangerously nervous drivers.

Monica! I didn’t say it was just limited to older drivers, I don’t remember stating that it was, I also know myself of one mid fifty year old driver that will only drive around her village, as she doesn’t feel safe going out further,that’s down to her. I’m answering a post gagajos post, she’s the one asking for advice and I stand by my answer she’s even saying she would only go with him if she could drive so obviously doesn’t feel it’s safe to go with him, lots of people of all different ages shouldn’t be driving, but that’s not what the poster is asking, she’s concerned so is asking advice and I’m giving my opnion

Stansted M-11 junctions are awful now, no matter my age. I surely don't someone who no longer drives well dawdling in the roundabout.

HeavenLeigh Such driving is not limited to older drivers. Over the years - and reading GN I have been amazed to discover just how many nervous and frightened drivers of all ages there are on the roads. You only have to observe other drivers and listen to your friends to realise, for example that many Middle Lane hoggers on the motorway are there because they are scared to be in the inside lane, in case they have to come out and overtake a slow vehicle.

I once had a friend who nearly had hysterics when she had to drive on a two lane motorway - at night - when it was not busy and she couldn't latch on to someone's red lights and just follow them. She was in her 40s at the time. Then here are those who have one speed, and one speed only - usually 40mph which is stuck to, whether the speed limit is 30 or 60.

Nobody wants to give up driving but they have to understand if they are having problems then they should put other people before themselves, late breaking! Not being able to see the lines properly and getting flustered doesn’t sound like a capable driver! I certainly wouldn’t go out in any vehicle with someone like that! I feel very strongly about this as I know of a young mum that was mowed down simply because the driver wouldn’t stop driving!

GagaJo The Institute of Advanced Motorists do an assessment test www.iamroadsmart.com/courses/mature-driver-review.

Perhaps encourage him to do this.

You did the right thing. For him, for you and for innocent people that he might involve in an accident.

It certainly does not feel right to not do so and have to live with your conscience when something terrible happens- and you feel responsible for not doing so, for sure.

Concerns about anyone's driving ability can be reported to DVLA anonymously -
contact.dvla.gov.uk/driver/capture_transaction_type?locale=en

I know it doesn't feel right to “snitch” on someone, particularly someone you may care about. But think how much worse it would feel if you didn't and the driver killed or maimed someone

You were totally right to tell him Gaga. But what happened next, and waht will happen next after that?

I’d like to say thank you for telling him On behalf of all other road users and pedestrians!
If only more people could be brave enough. My family all have permission to do the same.
I have spoken to people about it before and suggested the price of a car plus running it is actually thousands and broken down maybe less convenient is public transportation but safer.

Hell no, you were NOT unreasonable!!!
If he doesn't like your answer, tell him to pay out for taxis!!
Life & safety first!!!!

No, you were not unreasonable at all,

Most of us will reach a point when we are no longer safe to drive. I went through this with both of my parents.

Unfortunately, the reaction to being told that we should no longer do things is usually to be hurt and therefore angry with the person who mentioned the matter.

I hope your husband realises that you are right and that you mentioned the matter because he asked and because you are genuinely concerned that he might cause or be involved in an accident.

The hard part is knowing where to go from here, isn't it?

Could you persuade him to have his eyes tested? Cataracts make seeing the difference between light and shade hard, and can restrict ones field of vision. As they can be easily removed today, it is stupid not to check whether he has a cataract forming in either eye, or even in both.

Glaucoma cannot be cured, but its progress can be delayed, and the sooner you get treatment the better the prognosis is.

Yet another good reason to make an appointment for an eye-test.

He might after all only need glasses to be a safe driver once again, (unlikely, but perhaps a selling point re the eye test.)

If he won't have his eyes tested, then I am afraid your only option is to refuse to be a passenger in the car.