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AIBU

To be livid with neighbour?

(36 Posts)
TopsyAndTim Wed 23-Nov-22 20:46:48

And wanting to go round and shout at her?
I seriously think she killed my cat. He and her became attached to one another. She has chronic illnesses and so is at her home a lot. He was a very sociable cat so used to go to hers.
I suspect she was feeding him but could not be sure as he was popular with the neighbours as a while. But there would often be days when I would not see him and so I suspect he was there with her.
A few times over the last 8 years, she has texted me to say he has a limp or something and I have always been a bit short with her because it does feel like she was taking over.
Anyway. He didn't come home for 2 weeks and when he did, I was shocked to see him. He had a swollen eye, laboured breathing and off his food. He had obviously been out in all weathers etc. Long story short, he had to be put down and the main reason for this was because he was so fat he could not fight off the flu that he had. I am absolutely devastated and also extremely angry. This neighbour took over and did not come round to tell me how bad she was when she must have seen it for herself. She's also clearly been feeding him as he wasn't coming home at all and I accept that my other neighbours may be lying when they also say they were not feeding him but I think it was her.
Aibu to go round and have it out with her?

Grams2five Fri 09-Dec-22 00:43:57

Absolutely unreasonable. You let your cat wonder all over other peoples property and then you want to blame someone else for it being fed ? Your cat didn’t become overweight in two weeks , you’re just upset about the car and wanting to blame someone

Hetty58 Wed 07-Dec-22 11:40:03

Yes, Sago, I'm sure we're right in assuming that - given the history of posts.

Sago Wed 07-Dec-22 11:34:37

It’s a fictional cat and a fictional neighbour!

Elegran Wed 07-Dec-22 11:28:18

Vaccinations would make him less likely to get cat flu.

Hetty58 Wed 07-Dec-22 11:11:18

TopsyAndTim (???) Just stop with the strange posts, will you? I'll answer in case it's a real situation (which I doubt):

You have no evidence of any wrongdoing by your neighbour.

Cats choose where to go - and what to eat (from a selection of nearby homes, via their catflaps).

Was your cat up to date with vaccinations? If not, you have only yourself to blame.

hazel93 Wed 07-Dec-22 10:37:46

Your pet , your responsibility. No idea why you feel your neighbour is responsible she is not, you are.

Sparklefizz Wed 07-Dec-22 10:20:53

I am so sorry to hear about your cat.

I had to speak to a neighbour years ago and ask her not to feed my cat. It's not fair for people to do that when they know who the cat belongs to.

Someone on GN suggested a while ago that cat owners say that their pet has to have a special medical diet so please don't feed him/her, and I think this is a good idea.

Sara1954 Wed 07-Dec-22 10:19:34

I don’t think cats like being in too much, admittedly at the moment he’s happiest curled up by the radiator, but come spring, he’ll be off on his adventures again.

pascal30 Wed 07-Dec-22 10:16:32

Did anyone see those documentaries on the secret lives of cats?
They really are fascinating, free, independent animals. I'm not keen on housecats at all. I love to see them wandering into my garden and they quite often drink from the bird bath but I wouldn't dream of feeding them.

Elegran Wed 07-Dec-22 10:00:52

Is this the same 14-year-old cat that your daughter wanted to take with her as she has left home and got a flat?

glammanana Wed 07-Dec-22 08:57:10

I can't see how this is your neighbours fault I would have knocked at her house and asked about him well before 2 weeks ,my Oliver goes between my house and Jim's next door if he doesn't come back after a day visiting I call and bring him home so after 2 weeks you have no reason to blame your neighbour.

Sara1954 Wed 07-Dec-22 08:39:40

We have a similar problem, our cat is a real outdoor cat, not so much now he’s older, but he used to disappear for days, on one occasion weeks.
Our neighbor admits to feeding him, because she insists he’s starving, absolute rubbish. Because of another condition he’s at at the vets every few months, and he’s otherwise fine, she once rang a cat helpline and reported us for starving him.
I feel like going around and slapping her, but I won’t!

charlestrevino Wed 07-Dec-22 07:28:01

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Poppyred Sun 04-Dec-22 14:19:48

Bit late now? Should have sorted it when the poor cat was alive.

Ali08 Sun 04-Dec-22 14:16:10

TopsyandTim

How many cats do you have??

Ali08 Thu 24-Nov-22 02:00:07

My stepdaughter has a cat that takes holidays with neighbours. The first few times he went, she searched high and low for him, then she picked up on his game!
He'll happily stroll in like the king of Siam, expecting everything to be where he left it - though he did get a shock the first time as, fearing he'd died, she got rid of everything of his!
He may stop that now, though, as they have a kitten now, too, so he may decide to stay put!
But, he is a cat and cats do wander, and they happily stroll into other cat welcoming houses and eat there so, on this note, YABU!!!
Sorry, but if you didn't want him wandering you should have made him an indoor cat!

Hithere Thu 24-Nov-22 01:45:31

I am with summerlove

In the US, it is highly encouraged to keep the cats 100% indoors

Spice101 Thu 24-Nov-22 00:26:16

So yes you are being unreasonable..

Spice101 Thu 24-Nov-22 00:24:00

If you suspected the cat was at your neighbours why didn't you go and bring it home.
Free roaming cats are the ban of my life and here are required to be kept on the owners property. That means inside or in an enclosure outside. Your cat your responsibility

rafichagran Wed 23-Nov-22 22:37:33

Cats are no one's slave, they are not loyal, and I love that about them.

Callistemon21 Wed 23-Nov-22 22:21:44

biglouis

Inm sorry about your cat but the only way to keep them safe is to have them as "house" cats.

Yes.
Another friend had a house cat but the one and only time she did go out se got knocked down on the road.
sad

Cats are their own people (so to speak).

biglouis Wed 23-Nov-22 22:10:45

Inm sorry about your cat but the only way to keep them safe is to have them as "house" cats.

TopsyAndTim Wed 23-Nov-22 22:04:26

He was rarely at home throughout the years and other neighbours only saw him briefly. I couldn't stop him going to hers but her feeding him, only if it was smaller amounts would mean that of course he would never stay at home for long.
Yes of course, all his injections were up to date. The swollen eye was a result of the flu which he could then not shake off because of her feeding him. Because she doesn't own cats she wouldn't know correct portion sizes etc and so he became too overweight to fight off a flu that healthier cats would have no problem fending off.

mokryna Wed 23-Nov-22 22:02:06

Sorry to hear about your cat. So sad.
Cats all roam and we have no control over them unless we keep them housebound.

One of mine was always so friendly with the neighbours that he got quite big with the extra snacks. He even stole a joint of meat a butcher had left on the doorstep of another. He even got locked in another house because he had sneaked in behind some builders who were doing it up.

Another neighbour thought I had his cat until it was found on the main road nearby.

Callistemon21 Wed 23-Nov-22 21:52:43

He didn't come home for 2 weeks
He wouldn't have got that fat in two weeks.
Maybe he had been in a fight with another cat.
Were his injections up-to to-date?

I don't think you can blame your neighbour.