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Theatre Etiquette. Annoying woman in front

(122 Posts)
snowberryZ Sat 26-Nov-22 20:34:55

Went to the theatre last night and had fairly good seats.
There were three empty seats in front of us and I joked to my other half 'What's the betting someone really tall will sit in front of us'
True to form, three women turned up, two were short and the third was tall (ish) and sod's law, the tallest one sat smack bang in front of us. But that's not the worst bit. She kept swaying her head back and forth, from right to left. It was very distracting.
I put up with it for the first hour then ended tapping her on the shoulder and saying, "please can you stop moving your head so much, it's distracting!"
She glarered at me, so did her daughter, but she did stop. Which is just as well, because there were still two hours to go
What the heck is wrong with people? I always try to be still so as not to annoy the people behind. But some people don't care.
Was I wrong to say something? I don't think so
Do you ever get annoyed by people at the theatre or cinema?

SachaMac Sun 27-Nov-22 09:08:07

It’s those that ‘noisily’ eat & drink in cinemas or theatres that annoys me. If it’s not the constant rustle of sweet papers in the theatre it’s people munching through massive buckets of popcorn in the cinema then coughing all the time because it sticks in their throat. Then there’s the awful smell of burgers or hot dogs followed by all the straw slurping & ice rattling from enormous cartons of drinks. I much preferred it when people just had an ice cream in the interval or quietly sucked on the odd sweet. I know it brings in a big profit so people are encouraged to spend a fortune on all this food and drink but it can be so irritating.

Lollin Sun 27-Nov-22 09:35:37

I was going to say the same thing as eazybee
It is one of the reasons I hesitate to buy theatre tickets and haven’t for many years because the same thing has happened to me snowberryz but I’ve probably been the annoying person who kept moving her head to try and see because the person in front kept moving theirs and blocking my view. Perhaps it was the concertina that eazybee has mentioned. After at least ten years I’ve finally decided to treat ourselves to a Christmas production this December and have my fingers crossed that we won’t be disappointed by the audience!

Kate1949 Sun 27-Nov-22 09:49:31

Oh yes. People who talk throughout. Last time we went there was a man with a bag of wrapped sweets
He rustled the bag and unwrapped the sweets noisily throughout. Can't people sit for a few hours without eating?

Shropshirelass Sun 27-Nov-22 09:56:19

I have been to a couple of live gigs in the last two years and I have vowed never to waste my money on any more due to the inconsiderate behaviour of the people round us who totally spoiled our enjoyment of going. If we go to the cinema I always try to get seats at the back with no one behind us so that they’re is no one scrunching food bags, talking through the film, kicking my seat or slurping the last of their drink! Don’t get me started on texting whist there!!! No, I am not old and grumpy, there is a great lack of respect for others everywhere now.

Tizliz Sun 27-Nov-22 10:19:13

biglouis

Its over 10 years since I went to the cinema or theater and I would much rather watch something at home alone than in a public place. People in the audience can be annoying without realising it (like the woman who was bobbing about). At home you can stop the film, go to the loo and make a cuppa when you like without distracting anyone.

I would have agreed until last night when I had a flaming row with my OH because he kept up a running commentary on Strictly. Gave up and had an early night.

MawtheMerrier Sun 27-Nov-22 10:58:33

mumofmadboys

Sara1954 Well done to your granddaughter to cope well with an adult with special needs touching her hair.Also for engaging with the group in the interval. So important for children to learn to be kind to those who are different to themselves.

Well said.
It is good that so many productions now feature “relaxed” performances for those with learning needs, on the Autistic Spectrum, with ADHD, Down Syndrome, Tourette’s or whatever.
It is unforgivable to be permanently ostracised because of their own uncontrollable issues or those for whom they care.
We don’t take issue with children shouting out excitedly at pantomimes, so let’s not get too po-faced about the rest of the Arts.
(Mind you, I remember the first time I heard Pinkerton being boo-ed at a ROH performance of Madame Butterfly - I was horrified until I realised that’s what you do! gringrin )

Visgir1 Sun 27-Nov-22 11:04:19

Tricky, but let's face it the majority of the seats are really uncomfortable, no leg room especially in older theatre's.
I start off good as Gold then I'm afraid I can help but fidget.

Witzend Sun 27-Nov-22 11:09:33

To me it’s very inconsiderate behaviour, OP, and very irritating - I’d have done the same.

biglouis Sun 27-Nov-22 11:12:08

I would not have felt able to tell off the woman who was shifting about. People are not robots and I would not gaurantee I can sit perfectly still for two hours.

However behaviours like chatting, eating noisy refreshments and taking phone calls in theaters etc are rude and I would not hesitate to call someone out on them.

Perhaps its just as well I no longer go to cinemas and such.

Cabbie21 Sun 27-Nov-22 11:13:51

Most older theatre seats are uncomfortably close, with not enough room to move. I don’t think I will be going to the theatre any more.
The last time I went to the cinema a few months ago I was the only person watching the film! Brilliant! No noise, no silly people, no heads in my way.

Gin Sun 27-Nov-22 11:43:07

I went to se a musical I had wanted to see for ages, it was a birthday treat. A young lady beside me decided she was going to sing along to all the tunes. I told her I had not paid a fortune to listen to her and she very indignantly accused me of being rude!

icanhandthemback Sun 27-Nov-22 11:49:58

We went to see Rock of Ages and a couple behind us sang every lyric at the top of their voices and not completely in tune. During the interval, one of her group said that she admired their singing to which they thanked her. I couldn't help myself. I said that as lovely as their singing was, I'd paid to see the professionals so I was being distracted by them. I suggested that they move in front of me where there were two empty seats. Initially they looked shocked, then embarrassed and finally laughed. They too me up on my suggestion so we carried on chatting during the interval and after the show. They hadn't realised how distracting it was and were actually really nice people. They probably thought I was an old boot!

Ailidh Sun 27-Nov-22 11:56:47

I suffer greatly from short-arsitis, and can struggle in unrefurbished theatres to see when there's anyone in front of me. Courting couples are the worst when you've just managed to secure a view of a quarter of the stage, and then they lean in and obliterate it.

Balconies and galleries are no good for me, because there's usually a security bar in my eyeline if I sit on the front row.

I solve the problem by sitting on the front row of the stalls - often very expensive, usually neck-cricking, occasionally blasted by the brass section but worth it not to have to worry about anyone in front of me. The cost means I don't go often but I thoroughly enjoy it when I do.

Kate1949 Sun 27-Nov-22 13:11:27

I went to see Swan Lake once. A very tall man sat directly in front of me. My view of the centre of the stage was totally obscured. I only saw what was happening in the sides. Still, he couldn't help being tall smile

MawtheMerrier Sun 27-Nov-22 13:42:59

Balconies and galleries are no good for me, because there's usually a security bar in my eyeline if I sit on the front row

Try the second or third row back in the Circle/Upper Circke Ailidh
The rake of the floor is often steep enough for most of us shorties to see beyond the head immediately in front of us. The guard rail is unlikely to be above the line of the front of the stage and if you sit slightly to the side of centre that helps too.
I have found rows O or P of the upper circle of the Birmingham Hippodrome just about right, as well as being affordable!

CrumpetsForTea Sun 27-Nov-22 14:06:50

Last weekend I went to the theatre for a matinee performance and sat next to an elderly man who fell asleep half way through and slowly slumped against me. I pushed him off me but he did it again in the second half.

LRavenscroft Sun 27-Nov-22 14:10:53

Went to a gig at the Brixham academy a few years back and my enjoyment was spoilt by all the people trying to film the band with their mobile phones. All I had was light flare in my eyes and I think it would have been so much better if we had been allowed to enjoy just the performance.

humptydumpty Sun 27-Nov-22 14:38:54

Went to the ciname recently with my neurodivergent daughter who is hypersensitive to sound/light, and she told me afterwards there were a couple in our row who had their phones on (depite the cinema telling the audience they should be off) and whispering (despite cinema saying no talking)!

It really took the edge off her enjoyment.

If people aren't enjoying the film, can't they just leave?!

Baggs Sun 27-Nov-22 14:55:13

Moving her head back and forth, right to left does not fit that category

I think this could fit into the category of invading someone's space if it meant they had to keep moving their head to see the stage.

Oreo Sun 27-Nov-22 16:55:41

biglouis

Its over 10 years since I went to the cinema or theater and I would much rather watch something at home alone than in a public place. People in the audience can be annoying without realising it (like the woman who was bobbing about). At home you can stop the film, go to the loo and make a cuppa when you like without distracting anyone.

I agree 👍🏻

Oreo Sun 27-Nov-22 16:56:58

CrumpetsForTea

Last weekend I went to the theatre for a matinee performance and sat next to an elderly man who fell asleep half way through and slowly slumped against me. I pushed him off me but he did it again in the second half.

grin

Oreo Sun 27-Nov-22 16:58:11

snowberryz you did the right thing.I wish more people would complain about annoying or bad behaviour in public.

Chestnut Sun 27-Nov-22 17:25:55

I was taken to the cinema every week as a child because we had no TV. I learnt to sit quietly for a couple of hours aged about 8 years. So I kind of expect people to be respectful to those around them at the theatre or cinema. I must have been lucky because I don't remember any nasty experiences as described here. Or maybe I just focus on the screen and block it out, I don't know. People don't seem to care about those around them now which is very selfish.

I would consider anyone touching me, banging my seat, using a phone, screaming, talking or singing as a definite NO and would have to say something or complain. Borderline annoyances would be heads in the way and eating/drinking noises and I would only react if they really were bad.

Daisymae Sun 27-Nov-22 17:39:03

A few years ago we went to see The Nutcracker. Have been several times without incident. This time however a child behind us just did not stop talking, or unwrapping sweets. Paid a fortune for the seats but ended up leaving in the interval. Could have clocked her!

Washerwoman Sun 27-Nov-22 17:44:24

Oh dear.Our SonIL is 6 '7 and we're all going on a family outing to the pantomime this Xmas. It crossed my mind no-one will want to be behind him.Poor lad can't help it.He is shy and our DD says his height has often resulted in comments and being picked on.
However. The worst theatre experience I had was having spent a lot on train tickets and good seats at Jersey Boys as a treat for DD and a woman in front sang loudly and badly .I often wished I'd got an usher to have a word.And how many other shows she has ruined for others.