Theatre Etiquette. Annoying woman in front

Crikey - I'll have to dig out my etiquette book and look up the 'theatre' section! It's never occurred to me that I need to sit very still - not sure I can for so long. I do seem to always get the wrong person sitting in front, though, tall with big hair usually. I'm only 5'5" so should take a nice fat cushion with me!

Yes, my daughter and I went to see Cirque du Soleil. Behind us was a ‘commentator ‘ who seemed to know every move the performers /acrobats were going to make, even before the performers knew themselves. We were quite angry with the mother, for not asking her ‘son’ to keep quiet. Only during the interval did we realise that there was no ‘son’. It was a grown woman and her friend. But we kept quiet and didn’t want to make a fuss. We were too scared , I guess 😂

I think you take your chances when you go to the theatre. I may have been a bit irritated, but I certainly wouldn’t have said anything.
My daughter and I took the children to the theatre, and had a party of special needs adults sat behind us. They were a little bit noisy, and one of their party kept pulling my granddaughters hair, but they were so happy and excited, we just accepted it, we turned around and had a nice chat in the interval, just have to accept that you can’t choose your neighbors.

I thought about doing nothing, and I accept the fact that people need to fidget a bit, but this woman's head moves were constant.
Theatre tickets are expensive and I'm glad I said something.

Sara1954

I think you take your chances when you go to the theatre. I may have been a bit irritated, but I certainly wouldn’t have said anything.
My daughter and I took the children to the theatre, and had a party of special needs adults sat behind us. They were a little bit noisy, and one of their party kept pulling my granddaughters hair, but they were so happy and excited, we just accepted it, we turned around and had a nice chat in the interval, just have to accept that you can’t choose your neighbors.

I wouldn't put up with someone constantly pulling my granddaughter's hair, additional needs or not

Well, I’m not sure what exactly you would have done about it.
I’ve probably made it sound worse than it was anyway, it was more playing with her hair.

I dont see what the woman sitting in front of you did so wrong

Yes, it is annoying but when you buy tickets, you do not buy the right to the experience and behaviour of others around you

If she was kicking the seat, pulling your hair, invading your space, .... i agree on calling her out

Moving her head back and forth, right to left does not fit that category

What if she did it for a medical reason and couldn't avoid it?

I think you were lucky they did chose not to engage in a smart answer back in response to your request.

I bet that woman paid good money for her ticket too and she may percieve this incident to have spoilt her experience

I think people are just so used to watching TV they forget they're in a public place!

Hithere

I dont see what the woman sitting in front of you did so wrong

Yes, it is annoying but when you buy tickets, you do not buy the right to the experience and behaviour of others around you

If she was kicking the seat, pulling your hair, invading your space, .... i agree on calling her out

Moving her head back and forth, right to left does not fit that category

What if she did it for a medical reason and couldn't avoid it?

I think you were lucky they did chose not to engage in a smart answer back in response to your request.

As long as the person doesn’t constantly move from side to side I can generally get a window of vision in between their heads
This was the problem.
People can't help their tallness. I can usually angle myself to get a view, but if the person is constantly fidgeting then that becomes impossible.

There was no medical problem, because once I tapped her on the shoulder she miraculously managed to stop her constant fidget/head swaying

HiThere your last comment stopped my sister and I from saying anything to a couple of young women behind us in the theatre last week. It was a tribute evening and neither of us have an objection to people enjoying a fun evening. However, their shrieking, kicking our seats and splashing their drinks on us was really too much. Luckily, they decided to go and ‘dance’ in the aisle.

The following day there was a comment about their behaviour on our town’s Facebook page from another member of the audience who said he was appalled that their behaviour interfered with the enjoyment of the show by ‘the two elderly ladies’ sitting in front of them. That reassured us that we were not just being intolerant.

I had someone in front of me that leaned forward and pretty much obscured my view of the stage. I found that pretty annoying. Not that I go to the theatre or cinema these days but when I did I was always mindful of people sitting behind me.

You did not know before asking her if she had a medical problem - it could have gotten hairy if she had chosen to reply in a less pleasant manner

Theaters are also built to maximize the view on different rows (slanted/ in a slope)

Listen, I get it, you spend a lot of money in something and you didnt get the experience you hoped for

It happened to me in the past and as much as it is annoying, not everybody follows the same standards to avoid pushing personal buttons

I have occasionally asked people to be quiet in the theater or cinema when they were chatting or eating and crackling celophane packing. I have a certain "edge" to my voice on these occasions so they usually shut up.

We saw a show last spring and there was a lady near us that was so loud and annoying we ended up complaining. She was nearly shrieking. Those tickets cost us over $400 and is not something we can usually put money towards so I was MAD. If I weren't a good person, I would have punched her.

I understand the feeling, but being tall and swaying is a bit different IMO. She cant help being so tall.

The Performing Arts center we were at ended up giving us vouchers to see the show again, so in the end we did get to see it without the distraction. We were lucky. I think the only reason they did was because I asked and the show on the future date was not sold out so the seats would have been empty anyhow.

Sometimes we chose to stay home and watch what we can so we can avoid other people. Maybe Covid lockdowns has made me more intolerant?

Its over 10 years since I went to the cinema or theater and I would much rather watch something at home alone than in a public place. People in the audience can be annoying without realising it (like the woman who was bobbing about). At home you can stop the film, go to the loo and make a cuppa when you like without distracting anyone.

OP, weren't there any other seats you could have moved to.
that's what i'd have done i think.
i'm not surprised the woman glared at you.

I don't go to the theatre, cinema or concerts much these days but have encountered some very irritating members of the audience in the past. On one occasion a group of my contemporaries talked non-stop about a previous concert they had attended while paying no attention to the current performance. On another I took my then very young daughter to see The Wizard of Oz at the Barbican. A couple of elderly ladies seated behind us – no children with them – made loud comments and called out every time the dog playing Toto came on stage. I think Aveline is right; people are so used to talking while watching television that they have completely lost appropriate manners at live venues.

I have had that happen to me at the theatre as well, but gave shifted in my seat to get a better view. Of course hoping I wasn’t ticking off the person behind me!

I really wish that theatres were designed properly with the seat rows sloped at such an angle that this wasn’t an issue, especially since they charge so much for each event!

How annoying Snow. I would have done the same as you.

Many, many years ago I went to the Chichester Theatre (the year it opened) with my dear Dad. There was a lady in front of me in a large hat ! I couldn’t see properly so my Dad asked her to take her hat off. She was happy to do so. It turned out she was the actress Dame Edith Evans.

welbeck

OP, weren't there any other seats you could have moved to.
that's what i'd have done i think.
i'm not surprised the woman glared at you.

No the theatre was packed.
So I couldn't move. She was tall, not her problem, so I tried to angle myself so I could see, but it was made impossible by her constant fidgeting and swaying side to side.
Oh, and the glare was worth it. At least she stopped.

How annoying!
I’ve had children and adults kicking the back of my seat and have had a quiet word.
People looking at their phone with the light distracting me.
Elderly ladies talking loudly.
Very tall people in front of me, twisting and turning because their legs get uncomfortable.
Large people with their arms and elbows over my chair.

Sweet papers rustling and popcorn in large containers being stirred around.

Oh dear , I think I must be very intolerant!

But I do love the theatre and cinema and still go along regardless 😂

Sara1954 Well done to your granddaughter to cope well with an adult with special needs touching her hair.Also for engaging with the group in the interval. So important for children to learn to be kind to those who are different to themselves.

It is very likely that the woman seated in front had someone in her sightline who was also moving. I sat behind someone like that during a film in a small cinema, but I could also see the man several rows ahead with a perfect view of the screen, who was constantly shifting in his seat, causing intense annoyance to the line of people behind him. Everyone was too polite to tell him.