Should we be accepting these behaviours?

There was a well known tramp when I was a child. I heard my mother telling my much older brother that the tramp had been giving peppermints to me and other children. I heard my brother reassuring my mother " K-- J------'s all right".
Brother was right as a matter of fact, but my mother had the right attitude.

Kalu

Not a problem with him dressing up but the bottom line is, this is not normal behaviour. It would have been termed, hanging around with menace when I and DDs were at school. Men like this were hounded and reported to the police who took these matters seriously.

Combining all the freedoms men are being allowed under a banner, are we just to sit and wait until the usual mantra, ‘lessons have been learned’ once proof arrives this is a backward step in safeguarding females/children? Also, what message does this send out to other males who fancy the thrill of blatantly watching innocent schoolchildren?

I agree with you 100% on this.
Lessons never seem to be learned though. The police and others are repetitive in their lack of learning.

I remember a few years ago an old chap used to dress as a cowboy, Native American, Andy Pandy etc and stand opposite a primary school at closing time. He only ever waved to the children and quite a few parents would stop and chat with him.
We assumed he was just a lonely harmless old man and he never did anyone any harm. I don’t live nearby now so don’t know if he’s still around. I felt sorry for him.

Onward and Upward wrote "They were lucky this time because he was not subtle and not able to blend in despite probably trying his best. Somebody dangerous would be able to blend in. It may be a lesson to us all to be more watchful and aware of the people who hang around schools, who may look much more normal, but be much more dangerous."

This is the real and ever present danger. It's good for a child or an adult to be tough minded, but criminals are often devious and that is a danger to all concerned.

Caleo

Healthy happy children will be street wise to nut cases of all sorts, giggle, and move on to more interesting sights and sounds.

That is a huge assumption that all children from 3 upwards (this was a nursery school too) are happy, healthy and streetwise.
Should they giggle? Some might, nervously, but others might pity him, yet others might be frightened especially if he was on the bus with them.

How does this person dress when elsewhere and why dress as a girl in school uniform and what has triggered the behaviour. There has to be a mental health issue. The police are probably correct in saying not a criminal offence and I would suggest probably know of the person and hopefully any relevant social services do too. If there are any approaches to a child, no matter how innocently intended, well, that's a differemt case.

What if it was Grayson Perry?

I am not claiming children don't need to be protected. I claim they need to be well informed without frightening them.

Caleo - have you worked with people/children whe weren’t ‘street wise’ enough to giggle and move on

Healthy happy children will be street wise to nut cases of all sorts, giggle, and move on to more interesting sights and sounds.

Just this ….. any person hanging around school gates who does not have children in that school poses a risk, sadly, statistically males are more likely to be a risk. The police need a big wake up call and honestly the world's gawn mad !!

Police force are not fit for purpose a great deal of the time. There is much talk from them on a number of matters. When it comes to real action they are found wanting. After all the furore about women’s safety they are still largely uninterested in anything but the latest ‘woke’ agenda. This is another example. If we had a party in power like the Tories who historically were tough on crime, we might have some action. Oh wait….!

Well, if anything this should make schools more careful. Whatever happened to the Head Teacher being outside at home time???

They were lucky this time because he was not subtle and not able to blend in despite probably trying his best. Somebody dangerous would be able to blend in. It may be a lesson to us all to be more watchful and aware of the people who hang around schools, who may look much more normal, but be much more dangerous.

Only just seen this thread and agree with Germanshepherdsmum. Though if it is true that the man has been taking photos of children on the bus that should of course be stopped.

No doubt by now the parents are ensuring that a couple of them are also on the bus, the school has arranged for a member of staff to be visibly on hand at the end of the afternoon and the children have been advised in assembly to ignore this man and on no account approach him.

The man's right to privacy rightly preclude details of his mental health and care being made public.

Wyllow3

I assumed JaneJudge meant that in an "expensive catchment area" generally people like to keep it just like that and sometimes are good at keeping it so by who they know.

I find in less expensive areas people are more tolerant of difference, less able, people struggling, actually.

In both areas it would be best to in the short term ask him to move away from school, and try and get help for him.

I wanted to open up discussion as I think there are a mixture of elements going on in general rhetoric, that reported by the press, local facebook etc. but a lot of things are to do with austerity and lack of funding and vulnerable people 'causing problems' and from my own lived experience people who also have lived experience of problems are less judgemental about them, whatever those problems are

I'm not meaning to upset anyone

Dickens

JaneJudge

it isn't just adults with mental health problems though being shipped out, look at children's homes and LD communities. It all needs to be looked at imo because modern societies and communities should include everyone

I actually find it really sad and have done for some time

It's basically a strand of 'social-cleansing' isn't it?

It creates an even more unequal and divided society.

Yes it does.

I assumed JaneJudge meant that in an "expensive catchment area" generally people like to keep it just like that and sometimes are good at keeping it so by who they know.

I find in less expensive areas people are more tolerant of difference, less able, people struggling, actually.

In both areas it would be best to in the short term ask him to move away from school, and try and get help for him.

Wyllow3

"So do you think the parents are complaining because they have moved within an expensive catchment area? so he shouldn't be there?"

Quite believable, Jane

It's what you said.

Or did you word it badly?

Wyllow3

*Of course not!* Thats really offensive.

Just that some people are better at knowing how to kick up an effective fuss - like bring in the press?

You obviously do not know our local newspaper.

They have no need for help, they could give the FBI etc. a lesson

Men have always loitered* by schools, even when I was at school. They normally blend in but that one doesn't and it's something to be grateful for that he alerted everyone to his presence just by being himself.

Some more dangerous types would just blend in, criminally, like Jimmy Saville. Indeed, anyone who was a true danger would most likely not be dressed (badly) as a school girl. Care in the Community is bad for everyone- bad for the patients who aren't getting the care and stimuli they need and bad for those who they cause distress to.

Callistemon21 that is unbelievable.

Of course not! Thats really offensive.

Just that some people are better at knowing how to kick up an effective fuss - like bring in the press?

Wyllow3

"So do you think the parents are complaining because they have moved within an expensive catchment area? so he shouldn't be there?"

Quite believable, Jane

Oh, for goodness' sake.

So are you saying parents in more deprived areas wouldn't be concerned about their children's safety?

Unbelievable.

JaneJudge not overly expensive for the area, the other side of the A road you can add £50-100,000 to the price.

The area is not rundown, it’s a local community. It is not full of bedsits, immigrants or people shipped in as suggested up thread.

The man in question obviously has issues whether they be mental health or sexual, his right to freedom should not be above children’s safe guarding.

JaneJudge

GrannyGravy13

M0nica

GrannyGravy13 How far from the sea makes an area cease to be coastal, and what difference does it make to JaneJudge's statement that:

^there is also an issue that people are basically 'dumped' in cheaper coastal* towns to alleviate the cost of them living in London or more expensive areas - also part of her post.

The fact is the government has moved people out of big cities to areas of low rents, low employment and available accommodation and many are coastal towns - and the accommodation can be a mile or so from the sea. Whether Southend is such a place, is an entirely seperate question. But what she had to say is valid.

The area where the senior school is situated you would be lucky to get a flat (2 bedrooms) for under £300,00.

I am not so knowledgeable regarding property prices near the primary school.

So do you think the parents are complaining because they have moved within an expensive catchment area? so he shouldn't be there?

No.

Parents are concerned for their children, full stop. It happens in all parts of the country - men loitering near schools and parents becoming worried.