Awkward situation

Daisychain64

She went to the loo too so loads of boundaries were crossed Wyllow3 & Poppyred & she obviously wasn’t embarrassed.

Nooo! A step too far!

Look, just lock the flipping door! Why the embarrassment? If she needs the loo she can simply go to one of the hotel’s public loos. I’m afraid I really can’t see what the problem is.

I quite agree about locking the door, but unless something is mentioned beforehand, you might find you are in there showering, she tries the (locked) door, and calls out “Why have you locked the door Daisy, I need the loo!”

Then what do you say? “Oh sorry, I always lock the door…”?

Bit awkward then.

Don't mind the shower but loo usage is a whole different territory. NO! My pal and I simply don't lock the door in case of emergencies but we wouldn't t intrude. Never actually discussed it Just automatic practice and we do always ask if it's ok to take over the facilities for a bit. Just thinking.....if I was caught short whilst she was in there, I would go to the communal toilets elsewhere in the accommodation. Never happened thus far. I suppose it depends how much you prefer getting away to day trips. I certainly wouldn't want to jeopardise the otherwise good friendship you seem to have. Such relationships are precious to me.

Several times my nephew has arrived looking hot and nothered but has firmly refused the offer to have a shower. There is a lock on the bathroom door and I would never go in while another person was using it (I have a downstirs loo as well) but he says he doesnt feel comfortable undressing anywhere other than at home. Some people just dont like to share their intimate space. I now feel much the same but would simply have locked the door.

Amazon sell tricky little gadgets that you can take with you when you travel in order to secure doors to which you dont have a key or means of locking.

I know Doodledog!

I think it’s really bothered me as I’ve dealt with many people who have crossed my boundaries in unacceptable ways & really dislike being put in a position to enforce them which has caused so many issues. It just feels like disrespect.

Daisychain64

She went to the loo too so loads of boundaries were crossed Wyllow3 & Poppyred & she obviously wasn’t embarrassed.

AARRGGHH!!

😳

She went to the loo too so loads of boundaries were crossed Wyllow3 & Poppyred & she obviously wasn’t embarrassed.

I would have been absolutely mortified! What the hell??

If you still consider her a friend, I would insist on separate rooms…and if she asks why, tell her!

Daisychain64 do you think she would take offence if you just take an "owning up" kind of tone, and say, "I was embarrassed because I might have been on the toilet" (friends name) and its bothered me since. I mean what's the worst that can happen? She's not going got end a friendship because of that since you aren't saying SHE was doing anything wrong of you put it that way.

But decide what you really want - would you really prefer away-days, is staying over in the same room together a bit too much in other ways and the bathroom thing straw that broke camels back?

Could you not use the very polite English phrase: "Would you mind very much if I used the bathroom myself while you waited till your turn? I tend to like my own space when showering ." Sounds to me as if she is one of those ladies who is not embarrassed by crossing certain boundaries. I am like you and like to be private.

Usually I do lock the door BlueBelle ... I guess I felt there was no need on that occasion as it’s never been an issue with other friends but certainly will do so in future.

Why can’t you lock the bathroom door it’s just so simple you don’t have to explain anything or tackle her surely everyone locks the bathroom when not in their home situation

Because she gave me an appraisal afterwards I think I’m going to suggest days out & not put myself in that situation in future ... you’re right crazyH as she is an outspoken person I’m uncertain how she’d respond.

Don’t bring up the subject - it would put a dampener on your friendship. Just lock the bathroom door when you’re using it.

Hetty58 I completely understand if you grew up as part of a large family ...
Wyllow3 that’s my point ... it felt like an invasion of privacy in the context of a friendship ...

But just walking in, well you might be sat on the toilet...

Daisychain64, I wouldn't have been bothered at all as I'm quite ok with washing/dressing alongside friends. Having a large family, we'd share the bathroom - or we'd never have all got to school and work on time.

Therefore, what seems odd to you could be perfectly normal for her. I wouldn't bring up the subject right now with her, though - just lock the door next time - or tell her when necessary (if you take a shower in her presence) that you'd like some privacy.

I'm sure you can still have a nice break without sharing a room or simply by locking the bathroom...

I'm think she will understand if you discuss it with her - but if you really can't bring the subject up you could call the suggested hotel and ask if they have locks on the en-suite bathroom doors?
If they don't, maybe you will have to say you aren't sleeping very well and need your own space?
I do understand you are finding this awkward.
Good luck.

Yes it must have been a shock. It's a strange thing to do.

I would always get a single room. would never share!

Just get separate rooms. Problem solved. I prefer my own space.

Thanks very much for everyone’s suggestions ... I wish I was a more outspoken person in this type of situation! ...

I asked if she would like to use the bathroom before I went in which is why it was a surprise when she walked in soon afterwards Grandmaddinosaur & Wyllow3 ... super awkward!