Gender reveal/Baby shower

It seems very early to hold a party, in my view. In my experience, baby showers were often planned when the expectant mother left work to start maternity leave and appropriate modest gifts were given. I’ve heard of gender reveal parties, but think they’re totally unnecessary. However, your son really would like you to be there, so if you’re feeling better and are not likely to spread germs, take flowers and sparkling wine and enjoy the moment. 💐 🍾

My DIL's sisters have organised one for her in a fortnight's time.

I really dislike them, as I am uneasy and I too feel that all may not go well.
I spent most of my three pregnancies in hospital and it was touch and go with my daughter.

DD, DIL1 and I are reluctantly putting in an appearance, so as not to offend.

Never been to one personally but my sister-in-law went to the one for her 5th grandchild (they didn't have any before for the other 4) and she said it was such a load of hype and didn't enjoy at all.

But each to their own as they say!

Oh how I agree experienced the excitement of not knowing is so exciting
I m afraid a lot of the festivities that come over from US are pretty annoying and banal

You could take a Covid test just to be on the safe side.

In fact, it's not really very sociable to go with a bad cold and pass it around either.

All to paint a misery

Absolutely hate this borrowed 'Murican nonsense. If your son really wants you there- but I suppose you have little choice. But I'd be very tempted to find a good excuse, like your bad cold getting worse.

They’ll never have that magic moment when the midwife turns the baby over and says ‘it’s a ….’. All to paint a misery and buy the right coloured clothes.

Here in Canada gender reveal parties are very common, my own daughter had one for each pregnancy.It’s usual to just invite family and close friends, she provided a small buffet type lunch followed by cutting of a cake which only the baker knew if it was pink or blue inside. On both occasions I found it quite exciting to see inside the cake. I don’t think anyone brought baby gifts, flowers for sure and maybe Prosecco, alcoholic and non alcoholic

My DD didn’t have a gender reveal party but we were all surprised that our Christmas Day crackers were filled with pink confetti. It was absolutely lovely. It was so nice to share all Dd and SILs happiness with all the family.
We weren’t to know that the next few months would come with the stress of Covid, lockdown, giving birth almost alone and me having to go into her bubble.

I don't think you need a present for a gender reveal? Maybe you could ask if there is anything you can bring?

They are obviously very excited by the gender and wantbto share that with you and I always think it's good to share others happiness, happiness is infectious

It's kind of you to help them out but if you begrudge it that might come accross to them so maybe think about what support you offer in future or make sure it's only what you won't miss.

I doubt this little party is very expensive and it may be the other family is helping to host. Even so, it's nice to get everyone together whatever the reason

Just don’t like American ideas at all! Pointless. Pleased i didn’t know and extremely pleased dd didn’t know either. (She miscarried twins and also had an advised termination due to expected child not having a developed brain).

are they very young? you seem to have bigger issues than this party of you are lending them your car and paying all their bills.

How are they going to cope when they go down to one wage?

I would go but make it known to your son that you hope this isn't going to be a lavish affair , as don't forget you haven't go money to throw away. I would not take a gift more than a bunch of flowers and if next month he asks you to bail them out , tell him in no uncertain terms that this is the last time and they need to sort out their finances for their babies sake. Martin Lewis gave some very good debt advise in his programme last week. As we all know babies are very expensive especially in the first year and I bet they will want new for everything.

You’re right the title and the first line of post are different glorianny and Franbern perhaps the poster isn’t sure either If they are the same thing then she will be expected to take a baby present I guess but a bit short notice if it’s tomorrow
Oh how complicated it all gets
What next a party to see what colour hair it will have ???

Oh dear, oh dear!

Just be thankful they want you there!

You don't need to read very much on Gransnet to know that many others are suffering from estrangement to sons and daughters-in-law, or daughters and sons-in-law.

Go, and leave early , making your cold your excuse.

Surely, a gender reveal party is just a baby shower, with the added knowledge of the last scan showing the actual gender.

Does seem a little early to hold this justinto the secnd trimenster - but most people pregnant the first time naturally assume everything is going to be fine.

I can remember (going back over 50 years ago), I detested the idea of having ANYTHING at all for the baby before he was actually born. My parents had to store the new pram and cot as I was practically paranoid about having these in our home. I can remember when my eldest g.daughter was born an daughter made up the cot ready for her a couple of weeks in advance of due date - and that worried me - thank goodness all was good though.

I also hate any sort of Hen Parties and refused to attend any for my daughters - loved their weddings, but could not bring myself to attend those pre-parties.

If your son really wants you there, go along, take some lovely flowers and maybe a nice cake for use on the day. Presents for the baby can wait until nearer the time and when it is known exactly what they will need.

BlueBelle

Arent you talking about a baby shower glorianny this poster is talking about a gender reveal I think they’re two different things and thankfully I ve never been to either none of my children were into them or maybe it had not arrived from across the ocean then
I hope the grandkids aren’t into them either although I don’t think any will be early starters they all seem to want to get careers going first

The title is Gender reveal/baby shower so I assumed both would be part of the celebration. But happy to be corrected.

Arent you talking about a baby shower glorianny this poster is talking about a gender reveal I think they’re two different things and thankfully I ve never been to either none of my children were into them or maybe it had not arrived from across the ocean then
I hope the grandkids aren’t into them either although I don’t think any will be early starters they all seem to want to get careers going first

I presume these are different to baby showers where presents are definitely given?
In your position I most definitely would go. Your son has made it quite clear that he would like you there which is lovely of him isn’t it?

With regard to what to take, yes flowers are a good idea but I also would contribute to the food, having told the couple beforehand what I had thought I would bring.

I think the whole gender reveal thing is a silly idea, but the young couple will enjoy it I’m sure!

I thought baby showers included presents for the baby-so maybe they are hoping to have things they really need. I think if your DS has especially asked you you should go to support him. Although it may be that he thinks asking you is a way of saying thank you for the support you've given them, so perhaps be honest with him about how you feel. If you do go, a practical present-baby toiletries, muslins etc might be good as you'll probably be helping out with the cost of those anyway.

I was not at all keen to talk about my pregnancy and baby as you wete Theexwife as I felt it was an intensely private and moving thing that was happening between me and my husband only.

Maybe this is what marks the difference between the "party about it" and the "keep it lower key" sorts.

This was our baby, not everyone's.
Maybe some people maybe are just better at sharing the joy!

I told no-one until I was 5 months with our first baby. I may have waited longer but I was getting pretty round by then.
Later, I hated that some people assumed they could touch my belly. If people asked I said no. If they didn't I said "please don't do that again". I have never asked to feel a pregnant woman's bump. Not even my daughters'.

I am with you paddyann54 on the idea of presumption of a live healthy baby. We should never presume.
I do have a friend who had a stillborn baby. I have never had that terrible pain paddyann54.

I am so glad that I’m not the only who isn’t keen on them - that’s reassuring! @paddyann54 absolutely agree. My sister lost two babies - one at 24 weeks, one at 28. I did get to meet the one at 24 weeks, and we were all so devastated by the losses.

@theexwife if I hadn’t have bailed them out they would have been in significant arrears so I don’t think doing nothing was an option.

I thought Baby Showers were just for 1st baby? My DD had one for her 1st baby but not for the second. As for gender reveal we had an announcement with balloon bursting but no party.

It’s the modern thing now, best to roll the eyes and keep shtum?

I’ve only been to one and it was lovely to see family prior to baby arriving as they live a couple of hours away. We had fun. It was not long before lockdown so didn’t get to see baby for quite a while. I took a little something . If baby’s not due til June, it does seem a bit early to be having one though. When I was pregnant I didn’t bother with one, although plenty of other people did. I didn’t find out the sex til I gave birth - didn’t make it any more tricky to decorate or buy clothes!!