Gender reveal/Baby shower

Show up for the people you love, even if this isn’t your thing. My sister in law had a gender reveal. I can’t stand those parties, but I still went. It’s for them, not for me. How I feel about the party doesn’t matter. What matters is making sure they feel loved and supported. The officiant at our son’s naming noted how strange it is that many show up for funerals, but pass on the opportunity to show up for joyful things. Show up for the joyful things, even if you don’t “understand” them.

To answer your other question, gifts aren’t usually expected at gender reveals here in the US. If you don’t want to go empty-handed you could always bring a plate of treats.

Iam64

I reluctantly went to my first baby shower 8 years ago. My daughter recognised my reluctance but asked me to swallow my negativity and put in an appearance for her. I enjoyed it. Since then I’ve become a doting grannie to 4 children and enjoyed several baby showers. I’ve been invited to showers held by my daughters close friends. It’s been a joy to see these 30 somethings thrilled about their pregnancies. I’ve known some of them since they were babies.
Fashions change. I’m glad I didn’t hang on to negativity

Beautifully put !

I reluctantly went to my first baby shower 8 years ago. My daughter recognised my reluctance but asked me to swallow my negativity and put in an appearance for her. I enjoyed it. Since then I’ve become a doting grannie to 4 children and enjoyed several baby showers. I’ve been invited to showers held by my daughters close friends. It’s been a joy to see these 30 somethings thrilled about their pregnancies. I’ve known some of them since they were babies.
Fashions change. I’m glad I didn’t hang on to negativity

And furthermore If you’re unable to be happy with them so stay home but I would fully expect son and dil to be hurt by this .

I can appreciate that some are superstitious have anxiety etc but at the end of the day it’s not your pregnancy or baby is it ? As mums we elbow thru hard things so again I say to put a smile on your face and go partake in your sons joy and excitement. It’s entirely not about you

You are obviously a very generous mother/grandmother. Lending them your car, paying for the party etc.!! You have other grandchildren. Did you do the same when they were born? Beware of being accused of favouritism.

😄 😁 🤣 😂

Gerbil.... thats brilliant and i can but agree....

JackyB we had our second baby in America.

In those days there were no baby showers or reveals amongst any of the mums I knew.

I had independent midwives and they gave truly excellent post-natal care. I realise it must vary a lot.

We had lots of friends drop off meals too Jacky in the first few weeks and
I also needed no baby clothes as had so much that was outgrown by friend's babies gifted to me.

Often friends bearing meals didn't even come inside with their home-cooking - which was SO considerate especially in the first few days as we adjusted to our expanded family - no entertaining was necessary and it all felt so low-key and ordinary.
Happy days.

They've even spilled over to Germany now. I received a Christmas letter from a friend describing the gender reveal party her daughter in law had held in Tübingen. It was all new to her, and probably to the baker who had to make the cake as well!

My DS1 and wife had their second baby whilst living in America and went through the rigmarole of both baby shower and gender reveal.

The point of baby showers in the States, I discovered, was because girlfriends rallied round to help the new Mum, due to the absence of midwives, social workers, nurses or anyone else who should be there for post natal care. I went over for the birth of my grandson to help in the household but there was a constant stream of girls, often with their own children in tow, bringing food, gifts, useful items that their own babies had grown out of.

To put a light hearted note on the subject - the other day I read a saying that made me chuckle: "Am I the only one who's come naked to this gender reveal party?!?!"

Get some flowers put a smile on and just go. It's not my thing either as a lot of new trends are not. It's family so make the effort it's important to them it's the modern way.
There are a lot of grans who miss out on these occasions because of estrangement from loved ones. Make the most of it and your son will appreciate you being there.

Back in the 70’s , the convention was to order the cot and pram etc from somewhere like John Lewis and they would hold the items until the baby had safely arrived.
Ironically Paw had just arranged their delivery when our first any was whisked into an incubator and Westminster Children’s Hospital where he died three weeks later.
Of course now you are not allowed to take a baby home from hospital without the requisite safe baby seat for the car. So some preplanning is necessary!
Different times, different ways.
But TG none of my three went in for baby showers or gender reveals.

I’m glad dd never went in for either of these (she didn’t want to know in advance the sex of Gdcs 1 and 2 anyway).

I’m not generally superstitious but I never liked buying anything for the babies until they’d arrived safely - it felt too much like tempting Fate. Hence zooming down to John Lewis the moment I’d heard that Gdd1 had arrived.

Only recently a friend of dd went into labour just a very few weeks early - the baby was stillborn. So dreadfully sad.

This entirely Marydoll. Just cannot bear to even think about it.

Gender reveal? Baby showers? More from over the pond.?
Doubt our neighbours in Europe will have heard of this nonsense, sorry but why do we always pick up on these fads.
However to answer the question if that were my daughter ( though she wouldn’t be so daft) I would probably go.

Grams2five

No matter how silly I find an event I can’t imagine not going to one my son has excitedly invited me to attend Especially one about celebrating their little boy or girl to be. I’d suggest it’s time to out on your big girl knickers and take joy in someone else’s an excitement - someone who presumably is very dear to you.

You seem to have missed the point that some of us, who have had difficult pregnances or lost a baby, are anxious about celebrating before the birth.
Its nothing to do with needing to put on our big girls' knickers.

No matter how silly I find an event I can’t imagine not going to one my son has excitedly invited me to attend Especially one about celebrating their little boy or girl to be. I’d suggest it’s time to out on your big girl knickers and take joy in someone else’s an excitement - someone who presumably is very dear to you.

Youcantchoosethem

I am really not into all this new fad, and very happy whatever sex the child is. I already have one grandchild of each, and just hope they are all healthy and happy.

I would feel the same. But as her parents are going and your DS is estranged from his father - it's perhaps understandable that he wants you to be there.

As for the expense of it all - it might well be that your DS's girlfriend is the one insisting on the party in which case he probably has to go along with it. I don't think showers and reveals are events that men, generally, are 'into'.

Like all these kinds of functions which one isn't keen on attending, you'll probably enjoy it once you're there.

It's not my thing either, I feel that having a baby, though a joyous event, is really a personal and private affair between mother and father, ultimately. But I acknowledge that is rather an old-fashioned way of thinking.

Ive been to two showers and one baby reveal. They were nice. I took a towel and teddy set for the reveal and the usual baby presents for the showers. I dont think they will do the showers again for 2nd babys but it was nice to be asked to go.

Urmstongran

Also I don’t like the idea of all sitting round a mum-to-be as she opens presents for everyone to coo over. Tacky. Imagine the feelings of a friend who perhaps buys a babygro or some cute bootees then sees cashmere pram blankets receiving a big ‘wow’ moment. Consumerism at its very worst. I think gift giving ought to be private and personal.

This!

All the young mums we know get 3d scans before their 20 week scan .I was invited to this too.
The baby even at that stage was her sisters image !
Sadly for sister it was a girl and ot the ginger haired chinese wee biy she had asked for ...lol

Also I don’t like the idea of all sitting round a mum-to-be as she opens presents for everyone to coo over. Tacky. Imagine the feelings of a friend who perhaps buys a babygro or some cute bootees then sees cashmere pram blankets receiving a big ‘wow’ moment. Consumerism at its very worst. I think gift giving ought to be private and personal.

Always sceptical about expensive, often celebrity driven events that float across the pond. The baby shower is pretty well established over here now. Gone are the days when we bought our friends a gift for the baby, now what would have been a private tete a tete that has morphed into a big splash party with expectations. by the hostess of presumably being showered by whatever is on the wish list.

The gender reveal has gone one stage further, a natural rite of passage has been cranked up into some highly anticipated announcement, no not the coming of the second messiah merely "it's a boy or it's girl", really of no interest to anyone but the parents and their immediate family.

I do believe there is scope to turn almost any mundane aspect of everyday life into an event, for example "Please come along to the Whoever Household for our welcome into the family party night of our new gerbil and enjoy a glass of bubbles whilst we try our best to try and reveal their sex under all that fur We are enclosing a list of the equipment we will need for our new fur baby and you can pop into "Pets at Home" in the town where we have lodged said wish list your will see there is a lot to choose from, or you can just give us the money. We look forward to seeing you on this happy occasion. RSVP"

Yes, got a second hand pram from a colleague for a tenner, a cot for the same and a push-chair for a pound. He kept them until the baby was born.

I went to a baby shower for a young friend last year- the only older person there. With games like pin the sperm in the uterus, and so on. But just a bit of fun and 1 month before the baby was born. But at such an early stage- very bizarre.

I remember the days when we ordered a pram, cot etc or were promised them from friends but nothing came into the house until after the baby had safely arrived.

At the moment I feel as if Baby David is living right here in this house (the pop-up adverts.)!

In my view its not necessary BUT its how things roll these days. I would definitely go and throw my personal views to 1 side, I wouldnt spoil a single thing for them, its what they want to do and who are we to say otherwise!

Your son wants you there , show your support and enjoy. 😃