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AIBU

Role of Godchildren

(109 Posts)
GagaJo Wed 08-Feb-23 12:59:57

I think being a godparent is a bit like being a teacher. You see it as a one way giving relationship and it is a huge bonus if you get anything back.

How you explain this to your friend I'm not sure!

crazyH Wed 08-Feb-23 12:47:31

So sorry for your loss 1summer flowers
No one should expect their children, let alone godchildren to look after them. She never had children, just to spite her mother-in-law !!!!! I’m sorry to say this, but I think your friend is quite a nasty person - I know I sound rather judgemental, but I can’t help it.

Hithere Wed 08-Feb-23 12:32:07

Very sorry for your loss

Glad she didn't have children, with the unrealistic expectations she has

Is this the first time she expresses ideas like this?
A person doesn't become so entitled out of the blue, the will threat is a classic manipulative move

Talking to her might not work at all.
It is nice you want to shield your daughter but she is an adult, she can handle this herself

Smileless2012 Wed 08-Feb-23 12:30:00

So sorry for your loss 1summerflowers.

mumofmadboys is correct. Godparents make promises to have an active role in ensuring their Godchildren are raised in the Christian faith, an obligation freely entered into as adults.

I wonder if it might be worth while talking to your friend about her attitude. Possibly pointing out to her that she is of course free to do as she chooses with regard to her will, that your D would never have expected to be a beneficiary and you will be very unhappy if she does say anything to her, especially as she is grieving for her father.

1987H2001M2002Inanny Wed 08-Feb-23 12:27:47

Isummer...your post is so sad and I am sending you a hug. I don't think it's right for anyone,friend or family to expect to be looked after.Maybe by a wife or husband but certainly not your daughter as a God child.Perhaps you friend could pay for someone to come to her house??

Norah Wed 08-Feb-23 12:21:03

I'm sorry flowers

Tell her the same to what you posted. Either she will gain a new understanding or not. If an honest chat causes you to fall out - so be it.

mumofmadboys Wed 08-Feb-23 12:18:51

Sorry you have lost your DH recently

mumofmadboys Wed 08-Feb-23 12:18:04

Godparents made the promises ,not the other way round. Of course it is lovely if godchildren are kind and caring towards their godparents as they age but there should be no obligation. I hope your friend says nothing to your DD.

1summer Wed 08-Feb-23 12:14:05

My very good friend of over 40 years is now suffering from bad health and becoming increasingly housebound. Her and her husband never had children - she always said it was to spite her MIL who constantly asked. Both her and her husband came from large families and she has numerous nieces and nephews but also she has 12 godchildren,!! Including my own daughter.
She was recently saying to me how disappointed she is in her godchildren how they rarely visit or contact her and how she expected these people to look after her now she is getting old.
Most of them have families, elderly parents, stressful jobs and lives. She said to me that she is going to tell them they will be taken out of her will unless they step up to the mark!
I was horrified and will feel very upset if she says anything to my daughter. My daughter is absolutely not expecting anything from her in her will, she has always thanked her for any gifts she gave her and is often invited to family events and celebrations. But my daughter nor myself have ever thought about a caring role.
I will fall out with her if she says anything to my daughter who is at the moment grieving for her Dad (my husband) who died recently aswell as coping with a new job and a 3 year old.
I really don’t know what to say to her.