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A little whinge

(110 Posts)
overthehill Sat 11-Mar-23 19:21:12

I got on a bus yesterday and a woman with a shopping trolley sat next to me. I know there are more important things in the world than this, but this annoys me. The bus was practically empty, so why sit next to me. She could have gone to the wheelchair bit with her trolley, it was empty with a seat nearby. If that seat was the only one available, then fair enough. Do others have petty grievances?

Hetty58 Sat 11-Mar-23 19:30:17

I bet she always sits in that seat - regardless of circumstances. The world could end and she'd be there in 'her' seat.

I sat with my large bag of books (for the charity shop) on the seat next to me. A stroppy woman got on and demanded that I move them - as she wanted to sit there (when there were plenty of other seats available). I think she wanted to make a point about bags on seats? I just refused point blank and, luckily, the driver backed me up.

Patsy70 Sat 11-Mar-23 19:36:42

I know exactly how you feel. What about in a car park, where there are loads of spaces and the very large 4x4 parks next to you?

Purpledaffodil Sat 11-Mar-23 19:46:19

DD has a new car on order that will glide forward a little way to let you open the door if someone has parked too close to you. I have car gizmo envy 🤣

cornergran Sat 11-Mar-23 19:48:02

Me too purpledaffodil. What a useful gizmo to have.

henetha Sat 11-Mar-23 23:38:30

That annoys me too Patsy 70. Especially if I'm on the moors having a picnic in my car and just want peace and quiet to read my book etc.
Gggggrrrrrrrrr

BlueBelle Sun 12-Mar-23 06:18:50

Oh my goodness I think you are being really petty
Why shouldn’t she sit where she wants in the bus ? I just can’t believe that that could bother anyone enough to start a conversation over it
Well let’s hope you always travel in future on an empty bus
😂😂😂

mumofmadboys Sun 12-Mar-23 06:43:25

Perhaps she was lonely and hoped to have a chat?

Ladyleftfieldlover Sun 12-Mar-23 06:58:31

I think ‘standoffish’ is the word we’re all searching for.

Ginny42 Sun 12-Mar-23 07:08:59

My whinge is when I park my Focus - not a small car - and I arrive back to it in a car park to find a 4x4 on each side. I then shimmy into the seat trying not to mark either mine or theirs and edge out in centimetres until I have clear vision of whether another driver may be approaching.

The absolute worst scenario is when there is someone waiting for my space and sits drumming on the steering wheel whilst I to and fro to get enough swing to vacate the space. Whinge over!

micmc47 Sun 12-Mar-23 08:11:27

Interesting how the take on "personal space" has cultural differences. On a virtually deserted beach in Portugal, we were nonplussed when a large family of locals arrived and plonked themselves down right next to us. Yes, we moved away down the beach, no doubt adding to the unfortunate reputation of "Brits Abroad". Had a similar experience in Sweden, where we were happily relaxing at a lakeside picnic table, and with other tables vacant, a Swedish couple decided to join us. Our initial discomfort quickly faded, and we had a pleasant chat.

Poppyred Sun 12-Mar-23 08:20:00

Agree Patsy70 most annoying! I have a friend who carries a traffic cone in her boot so that she can avoid such situations! 🤭

Calendargirl Sun 12-Mar-23 08:27:16

I would feel annoyed if someone sat next to me if there were plenty of other seats available. Completely different if the bus were nearly full.

I don’t think this makes me ‘standoffish’, just don’t want to sit next to strangers if not necessary.

And please, before anyone says ‘A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet’ or similar….

MerylStreep Sun 12-Mar-23 08:30:08

Maybe she was a friendly person who wanted to have a chat.
She obviously picked up your frosty vibes and thought better of it. 😊

NotSpaghetti Sun 12-Mar-23 08:37:51

I think it's odd to sit next to hhe only person on the bus.
If you hoped for a bit of a chat you could always sit just across the aisle.

pascal30 Sun 12-Mar-23 08:41:42

When we lay on a beach in India we sat up to find a double circle of people surrounding us just staring... it was unnerving but certainly not uncommon..

LRavenscroft Sun 12-Mar-23 09:02:35

My mother had a lovely large front garden which she tended with loving care. She had a bench, rockery etc. One day I went outside and there were several German tourists sitting on her bench so I told them politely that this was private land. One lady replied 'You would not mind please if some weary elderly pensioners rested their legs and enjoyed the garden for a few moments'. Couldn't really say anything but felt it was a cheek.

nanna8 Sun 12-Mar-23 09:09:30

The first time we went to China, many years ago, they had seen very few white people. In a department store a lady behind the counter spotted my feet and beckoned all her friends round to stare and laugh at them because she thought they were huge ( not really, British size 6). I thought it was funny and laughed but can you imagine the comments if the situation was reversed? Thank goodness those people weren’t the victim of the woke police.

BlueBelle Sun 12-Mar-23 09:09:58

My goodness no wonder we re looked upon as a cold nation
(stiff upper lip and all that) there’s nothing nicer than making ‘a journey go quicker I m sure the lady in question just sat there expecting a little bit of brightness in what could have been a lonely day for her
I remember when I lived overseas and knew no one I used to look forward to the grocery boy coming round just so there was some human contact, a few words exchanged
Surely we don’t all want (need) an invisible cage around us !

Grammaretto Sun 12-Mar-23 09:13:10

Yoga mats here!
People are creatures of habit and woe betide you if you arrive early and put your mat out in someone's "space"

The teacher said she had asked one lady to move her mat and the woman picked up her things, left the room and never came back!!

We laughed about it but it is definitely a thing
I am a frequent bus user but not noticed this phenomenon yetgrin

Redhead56 Sun 12-Mar-23 09:13:35

When I was younger and I had no car of my own I was in a few awkward situations with strangers on public transport. It’s rare when we use public transport either a rugby match or a meal in the city centre with friends.
My dh sits opposite me as it irritates me sitting opposite a stranger. I’m not happy when there are seats empty and someone plonks themselves down next to me either. It’s just one of those things to tolerate on public transport. I am fortunate and glad I don’t rely on it.

yogitree Sun 12-Mar-23 09:16:32

micmc47

Interesting how the take on "personal space" has cultural differences. On a virtually deserted beach in Portugal, we were nonplussed when a large family of locals arrived and plonked themselves down right next to us. Yes, we moved away down the beach, no doubt adding to the unfortunate reputation of "Brits Abroad". Had a similar experience in Sweden, where we were happily relaxing at a lakeside picnic table, and with other tables vacant, a Swedish couple decided to join us. Our initial discomfort quickly faded, and we had a pleasant chat.

In 'traditional' restaurants in Portugal everyone happily piles in to sit at long tables, no matter who is next to you. It's a chance to socialise.. I think your presence on the beach may have indicated the 'people' area to them, and they fell in with that. They are very social and wouldn't think of your space as 'personal'. We've had many an interesting conversations with other nationalities through this tendency when we lived in Portugal.

Baggs Sun 12-Mar-23 09:17:45

pascal30

When we lay on a beach in India we sat up to find a double circle of people surrounding us just staring... it was unnerving but certainly not uncommon..

Wonder if they were thinking "only mad dogs and Englishmen"? 😉 I actually think lying on beaches in hot places is weird.

I have made friends on short ten minute bus journeys. One of them used to save the seat beside her so I could sit there when I got on.

I do have a personal space thing at home though: when MrB stands in the kitchen taking up far more space than he needs to (arms akimbo etc) in the way! I don't know how he manages it. It's a big room but he always manages to snaffle a bit of my ergonomic space when I'm busy.

Grammaretto Sun 12-Mar-23 09:20:49

That's right BlueBelle but it can be subtle. This is why we always mention the weather first before we launch into problem teenagers, cost of living, lack of shops or anything controversial.

When I arrived in Edinburgh as a young mum who knew nobody, I would speak to total strangers. One day a near neighbour asked me if I was very lonely!

pascal30 Sun 12-Mar-23 09:23:58

Baggs

pascal30

When we lay on a beach in India we sat up to find a double circle of people surrounding us just staring... it was unnerving but certainly not uncommon..

Wonder if they were thinking "only mad dogs and Englishmen"? 😉 I actually think lying on beaches in hot places is weird.

I have made friends on short ten minute bus journeys. One of them used to save the seat beside her so I could sit there when I got on.

I do have a personal space thing at home though: when MrB stands in the kitchen taking up far more space than he needs to (arms akimbo etc) in the way! I don't know how he manages it. It's a big room but he always manages to snaffle a bit of my ergonomic space when I'm busy.

It was January and not that hot, just a long white stretch of beach next to the beautiful sea,, and pretty much empty when we arrived. It was bizarre..