Left feeling upset by Mother's Day

FarTooYoungForThis

LRavenscroft no I don't think they are. They just don't do cards for anyone or any occasion. Probably just
busy and didn't think.

Interesting that you should say that. My daughter doesn't do Christmas or birthday cards and doesn't get any either apart from me and hubby.

SuziHu
I really don't think it's well publicised anymore.
I knew it was this time of year simply because it always has been.

I'm not sure I would know when it was if I hadn't been into town for a birthday card and actually asked the shop assistant in the card shop.

I use Ocado for 90% of my grocery shopping and I don't believe they referred to the date though I did see "treat your mum on mother's day" type offers.

It's quite possible to totally miss the date in my opinion.

Fishandchips
I love that, so funny

My friend's son phoned to say he would not be coming to see her as he was going to the tip!!

I understand your being upset FarTooYoungForThis but as so many have said, it's the relationship that really matters.

Nothing from DS in Aus. which used to upset me as being estranged from his brother makes mothers day difficult anyway but I know what to expect.

Mothers day is in May in Aus., as is my birthday at the beginning of the month so at some point in May, there'll be a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a little note apologising for forgetting both occasions.

FarTooYoungForThis

Yammy yes, thanks. I think I'll just let it go and plan something lovely for myself next year.

Good for you, you're taking the right attitude. I used to get upset and on the annual visit, home DD explained she thought it was a commercial thing and there were no reminders in the shops.
In an odd way, you make yourself unhappy by expecting what you would have done. I learned to do something that made me happy and focus on that rather than the family's actions.
I'm glad you can see it that way. Someone I knew told me to do it and it works. The same for birthdays or even Christmas.
Just forget it.

The card from my eldest daughter stated ' I do not really need to send a card on a highly commercilised day to tell you that I Love You - I Love you every day of every year.'

Think this might sum up what many people feel. I went to do Tesco Shopping on Sunday morning and was totally amazed as to how many (men) were in there purchasing their ver overpriced flowers

For several years now I have sent an email to my AC some weeks in advance telling them NOT to send me flowers or any other gifts but to use their hard-earned money towards arranging a visit to me during rthe year.

It is surely only in recent years that this day has been made to become so important. Cannot remember it being like this forty//fifty years ago when my Mum was alive.

Must comment that the best card I ever received on this day was in 2020 (as you remember, quite a wierd time), my oldest (son) sent me a card that had a big CONGRATULATIONS on the front, and the message inside saying ' You did wonderful job, I am brilliant in every way'. Made me laugh out loud. When I spoke to him he admitted that his wife had chosen it, and then worried that I would be annoyed by it.

Honestly, it is just a date on the calendar, it is how your AC are the remaining days of the year that really counts

I'm with your mother Marmight . It's Mothering Sunday- church services reflect those who have nurtured you on your spiritual journey. I did receive cards and flowers but my son's card was not related to the day but referenced instead my pedantic interest in grammar! If you have a good relationship with your adult children then you know that you've done a good job, don't you? We don't want to become entitled as some people here have referred to their mothers, so hold your head high, OP and buy yourself a bunch of flowers ( they'll be cheaper today...)

There is so often disappointment at Mothers Day- it can cause the same heartache as feeling “left out “ at Christmas ,birthdays, anniversaries, or Easter.
If distance permits why not take the initiative another time? Give them plenty of notice and say something along these lines

“I’d so like to be with you/ for us all to be together/not be on my own on Mothers Day/my birthday/ our Golden wedding etc So why don’t we spend it here. I’ll do a main course or buffet and contributions of puds , salads, wine will be much appreciated”
Jogs the memory and puts out a marker for the date! I did it for what would have been our Golden Wedding, but DH died two years before and it made for a very happy family occasion.
It also drops a very big hint

The card still hasn't arrived which DS3 insists he posted. He's coming up in April for a flying visit.
My 98yr old DMiL still enjoys Mother's Day so I took her a card and chocs. She had her cards displayed proudly.
We are all different aren't we

As children we would buy something cheap from Woolworths, make a card, take the time to write a poem, breakfast in bed, and generally spoiling her through the day.
Unfortunately, we grew up not to like each other much, and I always felt resentment about having to take her out for the day, and she expected it, I’d never have heard the end of it if I hadn’t remembered, my mother in law was the same, so I’m determined not to follow their lead.

I didn’t hear anything either, I’m trying not to be hurt but it’s difficult. Even a quick message would have been nice 😢

I can understand how disappointed OP is
I returned from Australia at the w/e & stayed the first night with DD1. I awoke to a card and a lovely orchid. I then drove home to find a vase of spring flowers & a present awaiting me on the dining table from DD3. DD2 had taken me to lunch before I left Oz. I hadn’t expected anything as I was travelling and tired. I count myself so fortunate to have 3 caring daughters who made their Mum’s homecoming all the better. My own Mum insisted the day was Mothering SUNDAY not mother’s day. We always went to Church where the children presented a single flower to their mother or grandmother having already made her ‘breakfast’ and a card. It was much simpler & to the point before commercialism crept in.

I don’t take it seriously, I get flowers and cards from both daughters, but always tell them not to bother, and I usually get a text from my son.
I think it’s really sweet for little ones to make cards and spoil their mum a bit, but otherwise I agree with Hollysteers son, a load of commercial rubbish.
Having said that, we do often have a family day out somewhere, but if no one remembered, I don’t think I’d be bothered, ld be furious with my husband if he interfered.

Yes your DH should let them know you were so upset.

For me Mothering Sunday is different from other such days days. There is a long tradition of this celebration and it's not just made up for commercial reasons. I can remember making cards with a hankie in it at school and handing mum a bunch of daffodils in church. My own DC presented me with flowers in church too. Father's Day was never recognised in this way.

DH never wants fuss on Father's day but the DC all make a point of wishing him well and he gets gifts too. He appreciates hand made cards from the DGC.

DH says I should let them know how upset I was . . .

Perhaps he should let them know.

There’s a whole lot of emotional baggage that comes with Mother’s Day. We may remember our own mothers or mother figures, think sadly of our estranged children or the ones lost to us through miscarriage or death, or we may even mourn children we might have had, but didn’t……

Family life is so complex and so downright difficult at times, but mostly it just works itself out if we manage what we can; which often comes down to just our own expectations. I think we want to feel we did a good job of mothering - and this day gives us an artificial yardstick to measure ourselves by. Getting cards, flowers, calls or messages equals ‘they think I was a good mum’ or ‘they really value me’. And of course we think the opposite is true if our children don’t conform to what my eldest son calls the ‘Hallmark pattern’ of giving cards etc.

It’s an artificial measure. Having a good relationship with our adult children is so much more important than what happens on one day of the year, so please FarTooYoung give yourself a pat on the back for maintaining that good relationship, swallow your disappointment and look forward to treating yourself next year. And have some 💐 from me. 😊

My son used to put so much effort into Mother’s Day cards. I used to get really beautiful ones. When he was away at uni he arranged for someone to bring some flowers round. But since he had children if his own he doesn’t bother. I’ve stopped feeling upset about it now but the first time it happened I cried so much.

LRavenscroft no I don't think they are. They just don't do cards for anyone or any occasion. Probably just
busy and didn't think.

Yammy yes, thanks. I think I'll just let it go and plan something lovely for myself next year.

Are your children of the thought that it is a lot of commercialism from the US? Perhaps they value you all year and not just on one day. Expectations will always bring disappointment and I must confess that I do find these smug people who are always so 'blessed' a trifle twee.

I wouldn't bother yourself or work yourself up about telling them. Just plan to do something lovely for yourself next year.
Nothing is worse than sitting and waiting for a phone call. Go out.
It's only a commercial thing these days anyway'. I never got a card for years when DD lived abroad their day was different I think May and she couldn't get a card and didn't bother phoning.
.

It's just an American social construct.. they love you.. much more important..

my husband says he has to remind all my children

My boys all called me up and wished me a Happy Mothers day. However my DH whom I do a lot for didn't really say anything. She was out with her children and ex for the day so I'm thinking she was busy with them and didn't realize she hadn't really said anything. It is what it is though. It's my issue not theirs. Just wished a hug had come my way.