Left feeling upset by Mother's Day

Don't we have a similar thread every Christmas, how a poster did not receive a card?

I used to be like that icanhandthemback. It's become easier since I retired and don't have children at home.

Love that! Such a great message, as we want our children to be great don’t we? I am sorry for all the mums that were left sad and hurt, but also appreciate what a lot of the replies have said.

MawtheMerrier, yes for some people it is hard. I do find it hard to do all the steps and end up with the card in the box on time or even at all. It isn't because I don't love a person but because of the way my brain works...or doesn't!
My intentions are always good but with a hop, skip and a jump, my brain simply screws up. Before online banking and being in a good financial position to pay bills by direct debit, I would always be in trouble. Now, with a computer to remind me of what I need to do, I can pay instantly online and fend off the problems. It's no good telling me to do all the steps you write about in one go so I can be successful. It is what I always intend to do. However, something distracts me and that's that. I might be in the minority but it makes my reasons no less valid.
You also make assumptions that may not happen for the less brain addled people amongst us. They may be miles from a post box, they might have little storage room for a stash of cards or even the money to buy a book of first class stamps which are hideously expensive nowadays. They might be up to their neck in working long hours, juggling children and housework to just write a card and walk it down to the postbox.
I am glad you manage to do these things easily, I wish I could be more like you, I really do but that won't alter the fact that I find it more challenging than you.

I agree Maw. I remember - as do most grans - the days when email and e-card were a futuristic dream. My short walk would be behind a pram loaded with babies and groceries and could easily include a stop at the post office to post a card to friend or family. No excuses that we didn't have time.

Hithere

Yes, it takes time and effort to buy, write and mail a card

Some days I barely have time to check my email, let alone going to a physical store to buy a card and mail it

Judging by the number of contributions to GN by some posters, you must be in a minority in this!
I buy cards when I see them and keep a stash, suitable for both sexes and most ages, similarly a book of first class stamps.
A short message to the friend or relly and addressing the envelope takes moments.
An equally short walk to the post box with the dog completes the exercise!
Not hard is it?

Mothering Sunday is the fourth Sunday of Lent. Although it's often called Mothers' Day it has no connection with the American festival of that name. Traditionally, it was a day when children, mainly daughters, who had gone to work as domestic servants were given a day off to visit their mother and family.

I would be upset too, they probably don’t know how much it means to you. The main thing is your relationship is good, that’s worth more than a card, when I next see them I would jokingly say, is my Mothers Day card still in the post. Wouldn’t make a big deal if it thought and rock a good relationship.,What about a grown up child that never sees you, ever, but sends a card?
Had come to realise ages ago, you cannot compare others relationships to my own, it is what it is, used to be so envious of my friends with close relationships, holidaying together and so forth, all that matters though is that they are living a life they want, are healthy etc. my parents were a big part of mine, with weekly visits and holidays, mine obviously don’t want that.

Oh I wouldn’t involve your husband, it makes you look needy, in the end that will only make them feel resentful, maybe if they were teens, but they are grown adults, capable of deciding for themselves whether or not to bother with buying a card.
Don’t let the lack of thought on one day of the year damage your relationship.

Could you husband not have a word with them saying you were a bit upset on the day as you hadn’t heard from them x

Yes, it takes time and effort to buy, write and mail a card

Some days I barely have time to check my email, let alone going to a physical store to buy a card and mail it

icanhandthemback

^It doesn't take much effort to buy a card and pop it in the post does it.^

I think that very much depends on your circumstances, finances or mental health.

Of course it takes time and money. Life for most young people is different to when I was a child. Mobile phones, text - better, less effort.

No longer are women expected to do relationship work for partners side of the family. Unacceptable expectation by some, years ago.

Smileless2012

I think the majority know their mum's well enough to know that a card would be greatly appreciated, and they may be a little disappointed or hurt if they get nothing, so why not send one?

We sent them to our mums because we wanted too, but if it hadn't been something we thought really mattered but knew it mattered to them, we'd have done so.

It doesn't take much effort to buy a card and pop it in the post does it.

I don’t think my son has any idea that not getting a card hurts me because I’ve never made a fuss about it.

It doesn't take much effort to buy a card and pop it in the post does it.

I think that very much depends on your circumstances, finances or mental health.

I think the majority know their mum's well enough to know that a card would be greatly appreciated, and they may be a little disappointed or hurt if they get nothing, so why not send one?

We sent them to our mums because we wanted too, but if it hadn't been something we thought really mattered but knew it mattered to them, we'd have done so.

It doesn't take much effort to buy a card and pop it in the post does it.

Text from one child, card from another, whilst grateful, I’m not really fussed, as others have said, it’s another over rated day to encourage guilt and jacking up prices.

Actually, the correct term is "Mothering Sunday", and it is of Christian origin. It was around long before lots of other "celebration days", such as Fathers' Day, Grandparents Day etc. It is always the third Sunday before Easter Day in the UK. Different date in the US, Canada, France etc. It wasn't always commercialised.

Fudgemonkey, you have done nothing wrong at all. The world has changed. In days gone past, the women would organise such things. Now they expect their men to do things for themselves which is why their mother gets a card and yours doesn't. Add that to the fact that many younger people don't "believe" in cards either for eco reasons or the fact they do everything through WhatsApp or the like and you get that thoughtlessness. It's sad but in no way a reflection to your parenting.

I was staggered this year all four of my children sent a card (unheard of!!) and two of them bought me presents (the two girls) My amazing step-daughter always sends a lovely granny card from her son, our only much loved grandson, and text me and sent flowers, but then she lost her own beloved mother four years ago. This was my first Mothering Sunday without my own dear mother x

I have 2 Adult DS and neither said, text or any sort of message or card on mothers day. I even saw 1 of them as I was passing having seen my own mother. Their partners sent gifts to their mithers. Gutted, saddened and disheartened. Where did I go wrong!?

I feel your pain FarTooYoungForThis. Mothers Day is a massive guilt trip for all concerned. I look at some posts on Facebook with all the over blown comments from others about their wonderful mothers. Making me feel a failure as a parent 😞. My kids usually remember but be we don’t make much of a fuss and I’ve always found Mother’s Day a bit of a trial. This year wasn’t great for complicated reasons and because of a family issue it just served to make the whole day a lot harder. It’s all just a money making con in my opinion. I’m sure your AC love you more than you know and one day they will regret not showing it more. One thing I’ve learnt with growing older is that you still get hurt by those close to you but true maturity is learning to suck it up and still give unconditional love back. Take care you are loved 💐

Don’t feel upset, I too experienced a no-show on Sunday , both my daughters live miles away and one was at a retreat. But come Monday morning and then Tuesday morning I received the most beautiful or funny touching cards from them both. Yes they didn’t allow enough time for posting but Royal Mail let them down too. We have to move on.

I think as we get older we do value tokens of appreciation more. I think the advice to do something for yourself next year is sound. If your relationship is good at other times, just let this small disappointment go. 🌻

Palmtree

I wonder if your post might be late. 2 of my adult children sent cards, one on Wed and one on Thursday, both by first class. They still haven't arrived today. Luckily they mentioned this to me, otherwise I too would have been disappointed.

The post is dreadful and has been for months on end. Our postman/lady can come any time between 9.30 am and 12.30 pm! Some things arrive next day and others a week later.

I'm sorry you were so disappointed. I would have been too. I think you said they have no children. When they do, things will be different.