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AIBU

Am I An Intolerant Victoria Meldrew?

(69 Posts)
LRavenscroft Wed 22-Mar-23 10:25:25

I 'phoned my usual hairdresser yesterday to make an appointment and a voice answered. The very polite lady only had sufficient English to make an appointment but could not deal with an arrangement I have with my regular hairdresser where I wash my own hair at home because of inner ear balance problems i.e. getting water into my ears. All she kept saying was ' We wash your hair'. I then had to add that I did not want my hair washed but cut and blow dried as is my usual arrangement with said hairdresser. It is a small local hairdresser so nothing fancy or expensive. After battling I just made my appointment time and will go in and speak to my hairdresser myself the day before to explain the situation. Is it me being intolerant? I know there is a shortage of labour but to be honest with you I am seriously thinking of going elsewhere as this is the lady who decided to wash my ears with foam last summer causing the inner ear infection which took 9 months to clear. I think we oldies need to speak out when service is falling short.

NotSpaghetti Thu 23-Mar-23 08:18:58

I like to know what I'm booking for to be honest.
In my case I'd make the appointment and say, "please ask Mandi to call me when she has a moment" (Mandi being my hairdresser).
Then I could remind her of what was usual and she can use the 10 mins hair-washing time for something else. Why not call back if you're bothered? It would save a trip in.

lixy Thu 23-Mar-23 08:26:10

As it's bothering you I would phone back to clarify, just for peace of mind.
Can you make next appointment while you are at the salon?

It's not such a big thing that it's worth losing sleep over, but phone back so that it's dealt with.

MerylStreep Thu 23-Mar-23 08:34:26

You’re not being intolerant, you’re frustrated.
You made a phone call and expected to convey what you needed done.
The salon is at fault.
If you had been having a face to face with the receptionist this misunderstanding wouldn’t have happened.

Oreo Thu 23-Mar-23 08:50:06

Just one of life’s annoyances OP, I would just go in as usual for your appointment.

Oreo Thu 23-Mar-23 08:51:12

Sounds like something from Curb Your Enthusiasm😁

Wyllow3 Thu 23-Mar-23 09:00:10

I know I took a tough line above but if I'm honest some things that seem small to others do loom large for me, in which case I'd ask the hairdresser to ring me back in advance so's it wasn't on my mind.

Doodledog Thu 23-Mar-23 09:01:12

I agree that you are not being grumpy, but I do think you are catastrophising a bit. Your hairdresser knows the arrangement, and should have no problem in complying with your wishes. So what's the worst that can happen? The salon loses out on ten minutes or so of useful time? Well, in that case it is on them to sort out the situation, as it was caused by their receptionist's poor English. If it matters to them, they will.

It is frustrating to have conversations that go nowhere because of language difficulties, and IMO it is up to employers to ensure that these frustrations are kept to a minimum. It's not being intolerant to expect that a receptionist (or call centre worker, or any customer-facing employee) can communicate effectively. It's nobody's fault, but it doesn't make sense to put someone who has problems communicating in English to be a front-line member of staff.

I think you should be kind to yourself, and maybe have a chat with your hairdresser about it when you see her.

Theexwife Thu 23-Mar-23 09:38:15

You are complaining about her understanding of English, so yes I would say you are being intolerant.

Wyllow3 Thu 23-Mar-23 09:39:49

Actually, depending on where my hairdresser is, in my case on the way to the gym where I go regularly, I'd just pop in enroute and have a quick word when its convenient. I'm still up for accepting that someone on the phone might be perfectly capable of making appointments but not something more complex - everyone has to start somewhere - but you could also have asked to speak to someone else when it got difficult? Mind you, thats the sort of thing you think of after its happened "if only I'd"... this or that".

Doodledog Thu 23-Mar-23 09:42:41

Theexwife

You are complaining about her understanding of English, so yes I would say you are being intolerant.

Why is it intolerant to expect someone with a customer-facing role to understand English? In the UK?

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 23-Mar-23 09:49:37

Absolutely right Doodledog.

Yammy Thu 23-Mar-23 10:42:26

Doodledog

Theexwife

You are complaining about her understanding of English, so yes I would say you are being intolerant.

Why is it intolerant to expect someone with a customer-facing role to understand English? In the UK?

I agree with you Doodledog whatever country you work in you should have a working knowledge of the language especially if you are the receptionist. How many of us have complained about phoning up a company etc. and been put through to a call centre in Asia where the poor people do not understand us or we them.

Calendargirl Thu 23-Mar-23 10:48:35

As it’s bothering you, I would phone back to clarify

And if the same person answers the phone….?

biglouis Thu 23-Mar-23 10:59:29

If someone at the hairdresser had caused a serious health problem they would have heard from my solicitor by now, and probably settled out of court.

You could have lost your hearing!

aonk Thu 23-Mar-23 11:12:51

Please go ahead with your usual appointment and have a quiet word with your hairdresser about what happened during your call. I had one or two problems at my salon which were very quickly resolved in this way. Please also remember that while it’s frustrating trying to communicate with someone who struggles with their English it’s so much harder for such people to cope on the phone than face to face. I speak French fairly fluently but always struggle on the phone or when there’s a lot of background noise. I admire people who come to our country and learn English. It’s not easy. I think it’s our duty to help them and be understanding. Also vacancies are currently very hard to fill.

lixy Thu 23-Mar-23 11:19:20

Calendargirl

^As it’s bothering you, I would phone back to clarify^

And if the same person answers the phone….?

Either give them a second chance, ask to talk to someone else or ask for your own hairdresser to give you a call when she can.

Alternatively write a note and drop it in when passing.

ParlorGames Thu 23-Mar-23 11:28:53

Don't get stressed over this, just go to the appointment with your hair already washed at home as you have done in the past. I am sure your regular hairdresser will understand and perhaps then you can both explain to the person who answered the phone exactly what you meant - give the girl a chance, we all have to learn.

Millie22 Thu 23-Mar-23 11:56:23

My hairdresser suddenly closed about 3 weeks ago. I had been going there for 25 years. For the last ten years I have only had a dry cut as the junior assistants did the hair washing bit and it was not pleasant.

I also hate water near my ears after I had an ear infection so I understand your concern.

IrishDancing Thu 23-Mar-23 13:11:15

I’d rather go to the dentist than a hairdressing salon. My current hairdresser come to the house, she’s in and out in about 30 minutes, dry cut ie sprayed with a bottle of water. But I can see OP’s point - I’ve had as many disasters as anybody and have wanted to hide indoors till it grew out - as she just wants what she’s used to, for good reasons. Let us know how it goes OP!

NotSpaghetti Thu 23-Mar-23 18:40:54

Calendargirl

^As it’s bothering you, I would phone back to clarify^

And if the same person answers the phone….?

Ask for your hairdresser by name.
If unavailable leave your number for a call-back.

hilkin Fri 24-Mar-23 11:53:27

No, you are not intolerant! If people want to work with the public they should speak clearly! That goes for native English speakers too who gabble and mumble! My Czech daughter in law speaks better than a lot of English do.

polly123 Fri 24-Mar-23 14:08:14

I've been having a dry cut for years. Why is it a problem?

grandtanteJE65 Fri 24-Mar-23 14:24:53

I feel both for you, LRavenscroft and for the poor woman forced to answer a phone when her English is not up to it!

You are the customer and have an arrangement, so you are fully justified in expecting your hairdresser to know that you come as usual with newly washed hair. I would not bother going in the day before to confirm this, but I might phone and ask to speak to my usual hairdresser.

As to the receptionist: I changed language and country at the age of 16 and spent two horribly embarrassing years gradually improving my language skills in my new language, and dreading having to use a phone.

Face to face conversations are far easier, as the person you are talking to can see when you are at a loss and usually help you out.

The phone is the devil's invention at this linguistic stage as the person on the line cannot see whether the receptionist is genuinely at a loss or just being difficult.

Someone has to answer the phone, and her language skills will only improve through use, but honestly whoever runs the business should try and help the receptionist, or simply take her off the reception desk until her English is up to answering the phone.

Quizzer Fri 24-Mar-23 15:37:07

Just ask for a spray cut and wash your hair before you go.

DiamondLily Fri 24-Mar-23 15:43:37

I'm getting to be more of a "Grumpy old lady" by the day. My patience level sinks by the week...😉