How to deal with bald rudeness in grandchildren.

mutual respect goes a long way where is this 'mutual respect' in returning a gift or failing to say thank you?

^I'm afraid the days of a stern telling off are gone^; which may well be contributing to unacceptable behaviour. Sometimes giving respect doesn't always get respect.

What N0rah and VS said

There is more to the story that may give clarity to those reactions

Is your son their father or your daughter their mother?

Telling people off may achieve the opposite reaction- mutual respect goes a long way

It would I'm sure be more helpful to respond to Agent's OP VS, rather than making assumptions that the relationship with the GC is distant, she doesn't know them well enough and the GC don't seem interested in communicating with her.

When a teenager is rude and ungrateful with a GP, why assume it's the GP's fault?

None of my children would ever be so rude to anyone who gave them a gift, but then we brought them up to be glad of the kindness of others in thinking of them.

Goodness, my close loving relationship with all my children may be an illusion because I often have to ask them or their partners for gift ideas.

I do feel sorry about the way your GC are treating you, but allowing this to go on, and still sending them gifts, is not going to help. I had a similar situation some years back and a friend said that if I ignored it I condoned it, and if I condoned it I was encouraging it. Why not approach your GC directly and say that you have bought gifts because you care about them, and they could at least have the grace to say thank you, also that returning gifts is hurtful - did they intend to be hurtful?

I can't imagine my daughter or son in law ever letting my grandsons return presents. Did you contact their parents to ask why the gifts had been returned and to explain you felt hurt?

I'm afraid the days of a stern telling off are gone

The days of giving respect to get respect are here

If I had been rude to my grandmother I would have got a good old fashioned telling off, which would have hurt me more than a slap. I would not be giving money or gifts to ungrateful kids.

Why is your relationship with your grandchildren so distant?

You don't seem to know them well enough to buy gifts they would like and they don't seem interested in communicating with you

Instead of being upset that they are rude maybe make time to reach out to them and get to know them instead. Show them how you would like to be treated by treating them that way.

Otherwise these relationships are just going to become more distant with them never reaching out and you ignoring milestones

Maybe stop buying / giving until they ask why then explain. If they are as rude as you say then it’s down to their parenting.

Perhaps you should address any rudeness with them directly, at the time it happens.

When you received the "thx" text from your GD, you could have text her back saying 'sorry don't but I don't understand your message'.

You shouldn't be made to feel awkward by your GC's behaviour and being a teenager is no excuse for bad manners, rudeness and ingratitude.

If your gifts are unwanted or unappreciated, maybe the time has come to stop giving them.

Ahh that’s sad and a big shame for you it certainly doesn’t feel appreciated and to return a present is downright rude and unacceptable Does the mother know they returned them
I d perhaps just send a card and a nominal amount ( a tenner maybe) until they revert to a more pleasant and acceptable people No excuse for such rudeness

If you value proper responses more than giving to give - just quit giving. You can't change others only your reaction.

Don’t bother buying them anything because they don’t appreciate it. Save your money and have a nice meal out and treat yourself.