How to deal with bald rudeness in grandchildren.

Hi Doodledog, my Gdaughter uses 'thx' in Whatsapps, so it is still in vogue.

Oh yes, I get (and use) the acronyms, but not the abbreviated text speak of old.

Maybe thx is somewhere in between, though.

Autocorrect is the worst AC use a bit of text speak

Common ones I see are

LMK (let me know)
AFK (away from keyboard)
BRB (be right back)
NVM (never mind)
AFAIK (as far as I know)

The emoji speak, I have not learned any of this language lol

My AC use a boy of text and emoji speak to each other in the family whatsapp but I get full sentences now

VioletSky

My teenagers very much use text speak but even harder to figure out is that they now use emoji speak or communicate in gifts which are short soundless videos with a text overlay.

My daughter is very chatty in person but when I'm trying to be mum taxi and figure out where and when she needs picking up I often get one word answers that don't give me enough information

Not easy when you are a wordy person lol

Do they? Mine gave it up when you could send War and peace via text, but they haven't been teenagers for a while. I remember my daughter texting me from Glasto ages ago saying she had 'gt brnt lgs'. I had no idea what she meant. It turned out that she had got burnt legs

I tried to write something in txtspk in my last post, but autocorrect wasn't having it. It feels like a lot of effort to go to for something that is meant to save time.

My teenagers very much use text speak but even harder to figure out is that they now use emoji speak or communicate in gifts which are short soundless videos with a text overlay.

My daughter is very chatty in person but when I'm trying to be mum taxi and figure out where and when she needs picking up I often get one word answers that don't give me enough information

Not easy when you are a wordy person lol

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I give them money and a token gift for the little ones. Teenagers get money and a nice card.

I have had something given back once when I bought something expensive for my daughter that I knew was a risk!
She was told firmly to return it to me if "not her thing" though - so a bit different.

I was wondering if something like "I'll exchange it if you don't like it" had been said.

Not anytime, anything

NotSpaghetti
I agree, I can’t imagine any of mine returning anytime, it would be way too much effort. It would just be shoved in a drawer somewhere, never to see the light of day.

I have been wondering about the mechanics of giving gifts back.
Who does this?
Children, especially teenagers, are unlikely to put much effort in.
Did you, 007, say it/they could be exchanged?

I'm not bothered about written "thank yous" anymore - I think those are rarer these days - but a text message (more than yours), or a verbal one should really be little effort.

Call me cynical (), but do teenagers still use txtspk? That was the 90s when texts were limited to a few characters. My lot used to send indecipherable txts in those days but it’s more effort to keep over-riding the autocorrect now😂

This has the ring of a ‘this’ll get them going’ post to me. There are several on the go, but it’s the Easter holidays.

I very much feel for you, not really any excuse for being so rude.
But buying for teenagers is practically impossible.
I’ve got two thirteen year old granddaughters, one lived with us for years. I know their favourite shops, but I wouldn’t buy as much as a T-shirt without checking with them, I’d be 100% certain of getting it wrong.
If I bought a surprise present, I would always enclose the receipt, and say feel free to get something you prefer, but I would be very cross if they just gave it back unwanted.
You relationship does sound a bit strained, next time why not take them out to choose their own present, get lunch, make a day of it.

That puzzled me too M0nica that presents could be returned!
It's hard enough posting them so they arrive in time.

My latest gift to 8 yr old arrived broken so I had to have another one sent. Quite a faff

Teenagers are tricky to buy for but I wouldn't be offended by the thx.
I think it shows a relaxed attitude to present giving.
You are keeping the communications open which is good. Just keep it simple a tenner in a card will suffice.

FannyCornforth

fancythat

Is this going to be {yet] anopther thread where a poster never returns? I find those situations tedious.
I wondered when I posted whether that was going to be the case.

That’s exactly what I am thinking.
I read the entire thread, almost totally certain that the opening poster wouldn’t post again.

If you are reading Agent, I’d like to know what the presents were, the ones that were returned.

That is a rather hostile action in my opinion, far worse than a present going unacknowledged

I hesitated to post in the first instance.
It takes everyone time, to be thoughtful and hopefully helpful.
Now I have got older, I am a lot more thoughtful about how I choose to spend my own time.

Of course, there could be a very good reason why the op has not yet replied to anyone.

I am a big fan of positive reinforcement. My grandchildren’s manners are impeccable with me, not quite so much elsewhere (although they are good children on the whole). I gently remind the on every single occasion they forget, but equally important I praise them and thank them when they do remember. I try not to raise my voice and to speak to them as I would like to be spoken to. My eldest grandsons are 15 and 13, the littles are 9(f) and 6(m). The 13 year old is going through an interesting phase, one word answers to everything. He is neither rude, or disrespectful, just monosyllabic. I am assuming he will grow out of it. The two oldest I just give money to for presents, I would prefer not to, but it makes sense. Your grandchildren are older, but positive reinforcement works no matter what the age as long as you are careful not to patronise.

Monica, I agree with you. There’s a lot going on here.
It would be helpful if the op returned.
You wonder if you’re just whistling in the wind tbh…

fancythat

Is this going to be {yet] anopther thread where a poster never returns? I find those situations tedious.
I wondered when I posted whether that was going to be the case.

That’s exactly what I am thinking.
I read the entire thread, almost totally certain that the opening poster wouldn’t post again.

If you are reading Agent, I’d like to know what the presents were, the ones that were returned.

That is a rather hostile action in my opinion, far worse than a present going unacknowledged

I am puzzled by this problem and think there is more to it than meets the eye.

For grandchildren who cannot be bothered to say thank you to go to the effort of returning presents, suggests to me a parent behind the scene doing some organising and chasing.

In a family where grandparents, parents and grandchildren have a close and happy relationship, family members do not behave like this and if they did the matter would be discussed.

I think what we have here is a description of events that are the result, not the cause of any existing fractured relationship.

Is this going to be {yet] anopther thread where a poster never returns? I find those situations tedious.
I wondered when I posted whether that was going to be the case.

OP, I’d have joined the advice to just send a token tenner and a card.
I ask my DGC or their parents, what they would like. If it’s more than I can afford, I send money with a note to say I’d love to know what they use it for.
I can understand you being upset by your DGC, but don’t be upset by comments on here.

Fleurpepper

Hope you are not upset because of comments on this thread. Just not worth it.

But I do think it takes two to tango- three in fact, three generations, and respect all round. Shouldn't be just respect from GPs for ACs and GCs- but the other way round too. Same for communication.

Totally agree

Sassanach512

VS time to get the glass of vino out and put your feet up, let the dust settle eh? tomorrow is another day

Excellent advice.

Hope you are not upset because of comments on this thread. Just not worth it.

But I do think it takes two to tango- three in fact, three generations, and respect all round. Shouldn't be just respect from GPs for ACs and GCs- but the other way round too. Same for communication.