Just wanted to gauge opinion. Had a recent visit from husband's family over Easter - two nights/3 days. Son from husband's first marriage of two years, short-lived in late 1970's DIL and 2 teenage GC. We don't see them very often due to distance and lack of enthusiasm on our part, although we did have visits before the pandemic but after that rather let visits lapse. I've always felt guilty about this and its because I don't really feel anything, and don't feel any closeness with DIL who is quite cold. SIL is a bit more forthcoming. My husband feels the same as me. It's difficult because my husband didn't have a lot of contact with son since the divorce 45 years ago now, and his son made contact when he got married. Since then we have always sent gifts of cash, not huge amounts at Christmas and birthdays, but what we could afford, and contributed to savings accounts but never once have we received a thank you note, phone call, or even a text or email from parents or GC. They send us a joint gift at Christmas and cards on birthdays. We travelled down once to do a week's childcare (caravan) when GC were smaller, when we were both working full time, and we weren't once invited to their home, have never even been there. Anyway... I did a lot of cooking and hospitality for this visit, bought wine and other things. I thought they might have bought some flowers, wine or chocolates but they arrived with nothing. We were also expected to have arranged outings etc. We are retired and live on our pensions, a lot less income and this time I held my tongue as they like to go out and have drinks, cakes, chocolate snacks morning and afternoon, and previously I used to say "We'll get these" each time, but now it adds up to £30+ each time and then the GC won't eat lunch or dinner. I also had to do separate meals as one GC is very picky, well TBH both of them are! Oddly, they don't like vegetables and salad etc but do like sweets, chocolate, puddings and cake! I bought Easter eggs but no thanks for those either. Also, one has to sleep in the living room as they refuse to share a room which is quite inconvenient. I suppose the final straw was when the parents went to our local shop and purchased some alcoholic drinks which were drunk and rest put in the fridge. After they had left I saw that they had taken them with them! I feel guilty because the GC have some MH issues, but I really don't feel like doing this again and next time they suggest a visit want to say yes, but we can't put you up but welcome to come for meals. I would have to come up with a reason. When they visit the other side of the family, husband's ex, they rent somewhere, but because we have a 3 bedroom house I guess they expect us to offer full hospitality. A bit of a long post, it's my first one on this forum! So, in conclusion AIBU??
