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AIBU

Separate bedrooms

(106 Posts)
Wyllow3 Sun 14-May-23 09:24:28

I always had my own room through 2 marriages, possible since only 1 child in 3 bed house in my first marriage 28 years.

Sometimes we'd share a bed, sometimes not. In my 20's I'd lived in shared houses where all had "their own space" and I liked that - the choice whether to share, or convenient if one was having a difficult or late night.

I've alway wanted and had "space for myself" so having own bedroom/bed signified nothing in particular as it made no difference to getting together sexually, that depended on moods not whether we had a shared room or not. Neither does having sex always happen at night before/after sleep ie sharing a bed is not the only signifier.

I think its important to say that sleeping separately does not necessarily indicate a cooling of relations, tho I do realise it does for some.

ginny Sun 14-May-23 09:21:12

We have slept in separate rooms for about 6 years. Neither of us were sleeping well so both of us were tired and grumpy. Now we sleep well most nights .
We have been married 47 years and the years of sleeping alone have made no difference to our relationship otherwise. We enjoy being together and doing things on our own.

Jackiest Sun 14-May-23 09:00:26

I would take care even if your husband says he does not mind an accepts it. A friend chose to sleep separately, the husband said nothing but although still married they now live completely separate lives, not really a marriage at all.

Grandmabatty Sun 14-May-23 08:58:53

My gran and grandad had separate bedrooms most of their married life. No one commented because it wasn't anyone else's business. Do what makes life easier. Are you both in agreement?

BlueBelle Sun 14-May-23 08:50:15

I don’t have to as have slept alone for best part of 25 years, but if that’s what it takes to have a good sleep why not ?
No need to even ask the question do what’s right for you both
As for going away either have a week of broken sleep or have two bedrooms easy peasy, if you sleeper together short term accept you are not going to have such a good nights sleep or continue apart and sleep well
No one business except the two of you
Only you can decide

lippyqueen Sun 14-May-23 08:45:40

Good morning everyone, I was wondering what you all thought about separate bedrooms. I am a very light sleeper and constantly disturbed during the night by noise and movement from my husband. Recently I have disappeared into the spare room and have had an amazing deep sleep! Have anyone else made the break to a different room for sleeping, and if so, what happens when you go on holiday or away to stay.