American visitor

I travel with an American friend and she never ever touches anything of mine. This woman is rude and peculiar.

My American friend, same age nearly (71) is the exact opposite.

Hetty58
Different families have very different upbringings, habits, customs and rules (always 'boundaries' here on GN - just makes me think of fences).
......
We value people far above mere things - so I really feel sorry for your visitor and the 'welcome' she received.

Oh, my goodness, is that virtue-signalling or is it simply an egregious example of moral superiority of the worst possible kind?

Well, in our family we do not share clothes, but we are always very generous with furniture, and often pass on to other members items we are tired of, or no longer need and would a household that didn't do it to be very unwelcoming.

As an American, the only people I know who would do this are rude people without social skills. This is not an American trait.

Op
Is this the first time you meet?

It is easy to get along with anybody in small dosages

Dickens

Stillwaters

Ok, so her flight has been rearranged for Saturday - thank you everyone for your insights and advice.
I think this thread can probably end now 😊

I think you were probably taken by surprise at the 'familiarity' that normally only exists within families - members 'pinching' each other's stuff!

Will you be 'binning' the creams and balms - or just scraping off the top layer? .

Did you take her to the Flower Show?

All's well that (will) ends well!

I suppose it depends if they're squeezy tubes (squirt out the first bit and wipe round the tube!) or dippy ones, especially if they were expensive.

Hope you both enjoyed Chelsea.

What does your partner think if it's his SisIL?
Awkward if it's family 🤔

I've met plenty of ride, selfish and entitled people in the UK... Just look at the way some treat anyone "foreign" for just one example

Am I the only one who actually lives here? Lol

Of course it has nothing to do with being American

Stillwaters

Ok, so her flight has been rearranged for Saturday - thank you everyone for your insights and advice.
I think this thread can probably end now 😊

I think you were probably taken by surprise at the 'familiarity' that normally only exists within families - members 'pinching' each other's stuff!

Will you be 'binning' the creams and balms - or just scraping off the top layer? .

Did you take her to the Flower Show?

All's well that (will) ends well!

Hetty58

Different families have very different upbringings, habits, customs and rules (always 'boundaries' here on GN - just makes me think of fences).

With a large family and many visitors, we've always kept our own stuff in our rooms, with anything in bathrooms available to everyone, shared toiletries.

Daughters, siblings and friends have 'borrowed' clothes a lot, never really seen as a problem. We know to ask if it's something special - but wouldn't think face cream was special at all.

We value people far above mere things - so I really feel sorry for your visitor and the 'welcome' she received.

They certainly have!. No one dips their finger in my creams.

live in the US. Raised my children here, just like I’ve spent the first half of my life in the UK. Lived in several states. Anyone spending a week in the states knows you don’t go to one random state and claim to know the country enough to paint a broad brush over the entire nation. A nation where the mere distance of two states can change nearly entirely when it comes to “culture”. I remain unimpressed by your excuse to stereotype an entire country

Why not try reading the posts instead of leaping to conclusions. Nobody has attempted to stereotype an entire country (except you) that is, until you started your diatribe.
Bottom line is that your ill tempered responses have only served to dispel my impressions of typical Southern good
manners.
Bit of an own goal!

Ok, so her flight has been rearranged for Saturday - thank you everyone for your insights and advice.
I think this thread can probably end now 😊

Hithere

Op

Why would you consider inviting somebody to your home, with these conditions?

Because we've always got along really well.

Riverwalk

How do you visit the States eight times a year on your 'limited income'?

Riverbank

As I'm the one who always travels, my partner (who has ill health) pays for the flights (which is no-ones business except ours, but let's squash that judgement

Regards the mental health - she's always been absolutely fine with me - this is the first time the accusations and aggression have surfaced. Whilst I am perfectly clear how I feel about that aspect, I was unsure whether I was being pernickety about the boundaries etc - hence my post.
Have a nice evening 😊

Op

Why would you consider inviting somebody to your home, with these conditions?

The story has changed so much I thought she was someone you d never met like a pen friend or something but it appears you know her quite well and knew she used drugs and had mental health problems and is actually part of the extended family and as you ve been to US 8 times a year (lucky you on a limited income 😳 ) you must know these problems she displays are hers and not anything o do with her country
I hope it works out ok for you both

How do you visit the States eight times a year on your 'limited income'?

Foxygloves

^That's your experience. A trip to Kentucky does not an expert make. My experience is different. I’ve also come across some very pretentious, snide Brits, but you don’t see me painting a broad brush. There are different types of rudeness, even if one lacks the self-awareness to see it. If you think your anecdotal experience is enough to stereotype a diverse, large nation then I feel sorry for you^

Blimey!
It was an exchange programme, not a short trip and if personal experience counts for nothing any more whence do you derive your superior knowledge? .

I live in the US. Raised my children here, just like I’ve spent the first half of my life in the UK. Lived in several states. Anyone spending a week in the states knows you don’t go to one random state and claim to know the country enough to paint a broad brush over the entire nation. A nation where the mere distance of two states can change nearly entirely when it comes to “culture”. I remain unimpressed by your excuse to stereotype an entire country.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Yes you are being unreasonable! It's taken you all day and the thread up to 80 posts before you reveal that your guest has mental health issues and is a heavy weed user.

So it's nothing to do with her being American!

Hithere

Personal venom is subjective

Bella's post contained plenty of that too

Exactly.

She coped with the flight and transfer to your home, so is obviously not totally incapable. Its worrying that she's taking drugs in your home and like welbeck I'm a bit concerned for your safety. Think about it. XX

A very odd experience. I hope she will leave soon and you can put it all behind you stillwaters

I shared a room at college with a strange Polish girl but I don't think it has affected my attitude to Polish people.

The Americans I have met here in the UK have been incredibly polite, funny and charming.
I have never been to the USA so perhaps, and hopefully, I ll never meet any of the awful ones

My DM met a couple from California on the bus during the Edinburgh festival.
She chatted to them and invited them home for me to cook and entertain them.
I was not thrilled with the idea of complete strangers coming to supper
My DM said they were bound to be charming and would probably arrive with flowers and chocolates.

Well they did! They were delightful and continued to send parcels of crystallised fruit for years to come.

be careful. she sounds unstable.
got any friends, relatives nearby,
preferably beefy ones, to help ease her exit ?

welbeck

are you alone with her, OP ?

Yes, I am

welbeck, I don't use face cream - as I know they don't work - but, if I did - and I minded - I'd keep it in a very safe place.

My doctor friend said that 'clean' hands aren't enough to prevent contamination - so any cream (especially for nappy rash) should be taken out of the pot with a clean spoon - always.