American visitor

Sounds very odd. And a bit difficult to approach her about. Perhaps you could surreptitiously hide your things, at least the cosmetics. Clothes I shouldn't worry about, although she doesn't really have any right to rummage.

I'm sure it's not because she's American, just some quirk of her upbringing.

Just ask her not to use your products unless she asks first..

She sounds very forward! I would let her know how you feel.

Yes, I've gently said that we wouldn't do that and I'm happy to share but please ask - she's taken offence, so yes I've hidden my stuff.

And I've just discovered that, despite there being 4 open pots of lip balm in the bathroom by the sink, she's opened the Neals Yard lip balm that was over on the side, that I was giving as a gift to a friend 😕

It’s not because she’s American.

You shouldn’t have to hide stuff in your own home. Tell her to leave your things alone or to find a hotel.

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Has she always behaved this way or has it started recently? If the latter, perhaps at 72 her mental faculties are in decline.

I suppose you could say "in the UK we don't usually..." then it seems that you are assuming she is normal for America but UK is different. I realise you don't think that but it's maybe an easy way round your current problems!

I wouldn’t use anyone else’s potions , especially cosmetics!
I’m lucky that my en-suite can’t be accessed by visitors

I think this is extremely bad manners and rude, never mind where she comes from. She has definitely overstepped the mark. You will have to be very clear that she is not to touch your clothes or cosmetics, and if she's going to sulk over it, then you need to tell her to go to a hotel.

Ps. Don't tell her you're "happy to share". It's not on. If this is the first time she's visited, I would suggest you don't know her very well and her behaviour shows she's not a true friend.

I think you're being very accommodating by saying she doesn't know how to use things so she took a big scoop, she's 72 not 7. She's taking the piss and it's not acceptable. Don't be surprised if when she leaves some of your stuff disappears too.

Siope

It’s not because she’s American.

You shouldn’t have to hide stuff in your own home. Tell her to leave your things alone or to find a hotel.

I don't think I should either!

I think we're probably going to look for an early flight home.

You never really know someone until you share a bathroom.

I would not assume that the whole of the USA is selfish, there are people like your ‘friend’ everywhere.

I hope the visit ends before it ends your friendship.

She sounds ghastly.

First (and last) visit I think.

Sharing some things, such as lip balm, is downright unhygienic. She sounds like a child with no boundaries. Very rude. For me this friendship would be over.

I seem to recall an anecdote telling how Meghan felt insulted/excluded because Catherine wouldn’t lend her her lip balm.
Perhaps it is a US thing.

To be honest I think Meghan feels insulted by every little thing, but I remember the lip balm incident.

She’s rude and overstepping boundaries. Especially opening a new pot . I’d tell her that you’re very prone to cold sores and that using your stuff is very unhygienic . That should put her off !!! .
I’ve shared flats when much younger and would never use someone else’s stuff . Or though I’ve shared with girls who do . One flatmate would put aline on a bottle of expensive shampoo due to suspecting that another flatmate was using it .

Could you invent cold sores or an infectious skin condition that she could catch through,I was going to say sharing,but its more like helping herself,flipping cheek

My son has been married to a lovely American woman for over 20 years so we’ve spent a lot of time with people from the US. Whilst Americans are more - open, shall we say - I’ve certainly never come across anyone such as you’re describing, Stillwaters.

*Notspaghetti’s idea is a good one, I hope peace is soon restored to your home.

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By whom?

Crivvens! Awkward......! My Scottish mum had an English cousin of my dad's to stay with us. They'd never previously met. The woman treated her as a servant so after a couple of days mum threw her out. She was never mentioned again. I was 15 at the time and remember being very impressed by mum's "Wha daur meddle wi me?" attitude.....