I volunteer at a local food bank, there are several in my area. My role is to input into the computer the details of those who contact us so that they receive food from us which is usually delivered directly to their door with the exception of those who live closest to the distribution centre. People can self refer so no hoops to jump through and most of our users are also using the other food banks and charities where we live. I am a small cog in a big wheel, and just follow the rules of what I am asked to do, others make those rules.
We as a family are not well off but have the ability to manage our small income to make ends meet, if we can’t afford it we don’t have it, it’s that simple. I probably would qualify for help if I had our income and outgoings looked at but we prefer to stand on our own two feet. I was brought up not to waste resources and have tried to educate our children in the same way. I do know how lucky I am to be able to manage to get by. And here it comes…. The more I learn about the people who access our service the more flaming annoyed I get, there are genuine people who literally do not have enough coming in and to me this is who we should be prioritising and I get so annoyed that they are falling through the cracks and left behind. What I find more irksome is that week on week while the poorest fall further behind I receive what amounts to shopping/wish lists. Apart from those who have special dietary requirements such as Celiac disease and the like I am apt to think that folk should be grateful for any support that we can provide bearing in mind that we rely on donations from the public to redistribute, but honestly I do wonder if this monster that has been created actually helps the majority of our users to learn essential life lessons like budgeting at all? Some of the requests are to me outrageous so for example instead of asking for deodorant they ask for expensive brands like Dove this or that fragrance, last week someone requested freshly ground coffee which was a further step up from the usual requests for Nescafé, or Douwe Egberts, then there’s the mums who request really expensive formula and nappies to feed children they cannot afford whilst becoming pregnant with more children they cannot afford. Then there are those who obtain food so that they can buy illegal drugs with their money.
The icing on the cake this weekend has been from someone who has up until recently been given a store voucher one day and food the next day. The £25 weekly vouchers have stopped and the single person user isn’t happy because they usually buy fresh fish, meat and other ingredients with it and has now taken to contacting the local Conservative MP to complain. The irony of that isn’t wasted on me.
As a family of 4 who can rarely afford to buy fresh fish and meat ourselves but tries to be altruistic I’m getting a bit peeved at the rights over responsibility attitude of some people and I am beginning feel as though I don’t want to give or help, especially when the recipients are posting on social media their takeaways and grand days out.
I know I sound like a hard hearted bitch when in reality I know that you have to walk a day in someone’s shoes to know how it is for them but some peoples idea of being in desperate need completely contradict my knowledge of it. AIBU?
Absolutely agree with Doodledog .
Not everyone is as perfect as some on this thread, but I bet the imperfect ones are kinder.
We can visit to take details, or another agency can do this. Some of our folk are sent our way by the Probation Service or Health Visitors etc; and the housebound can nominate someone to collect on his/ her behalf. Many of our clients come on a bus.
Our support is limited to 12 lots of parcels. I hope that this answers the questions.
Perhaps those who need to use places like foodbanks, should have the appearance to show how poor they are. Unwashed (hot water and soap all cost money - even cold water does), unshaven , perhaps a special costume of sackcloth to wear tied with string. Definitely no make-up or jewellery, even costume.
Am I being ridiculous? Not when we read some of the posts on here.
HousePlantQueen
Foodbank referrals, certainly for the Trussel Trust, can be made by email, and if a client explains that they are unable to attend physically due to mobility issues, delivery can be made. Good kind people work these things out, you know.
The only foodbank I know much about is the local Trussell Trust one. I knew that they can deliver for some clients.
A significant number of referrals are because people's benefit payments are delayed and the DWP signposts people to foodbanks.
I don't know anything about the foodbanks run by other organisations which don't need a referral. People seem to think the Trussell Trust foodbanks provide unlimited supplies of food. They don't. People have to be desperate to be referred and can only have a limited number of vouchers.
Even the poorest and most downtrodden deserve a sense of self-worth and I don't suppose they're keen on people prying into every aspect of their life.
Foodbank referrals, certainly for the Trussel Trust, can be made by email, and if a client explains that they are unable to attend physically due to mobility issues, delivery can be made. Good kind people work these things out, you know.
biglouis
@growstuff
I asked a valid and important question to which none of you who state that you volunteer for food banks have supplied an answer.
So rather than trolling over one word which you dont like perhaps you would care to explain how a housebond/mobility impaired/no transport person gets "referred" to your organization without having social services busybodies buzzing around.
Presumably you have a GP.
It's not trolling to consider your attitude judgmental. You even can't resist having a "go" at social workers.
I doubt very much whether you're in dire enough straits to be eligible for a foodbank a couple of times a year. You're always saying how successful your business is, how you know all the loopholes and what a successful career you had.
I wouldn't have thought it beyond your wit to work something out, if you were eligible.
I’d be interested to know the answer too biglouis
@growstuff
I asked a valid and important question to which none of you who state that you volunteer for food banks have supplied an answer.
So rather than trolling over one word which you dont like perhaps you would care to explain how a housebond/mobility impaired/no transport person gets "referred" to your organization without having social services busybodies buzzing around.
Meryl I really like peel off base coat. Sensationail do a good one
Fanny
Your not alone, I have all the kit.
The woman in question may very well have had her nails done for free!
I have lots of nail stuff and a curing lamp (shoot me now!) and I often do my step-mom’s nails and those of my next door neighbour.
I don’t think that I would have immediately linked the need for food / nails thing
Is it any wonder that benefits go unclaimed when people are judged for having their hair or nails done, or having others decide from their appearance whether they ‘need’ things or not? Do people want claimants to be in rags?
I have never had my nails ‘done’ so I wouldn’t miss it if I couldn’t afford it, but I get my hair cut regularly and would feel scruffy if I couldn’t. I cut it myself during lockdown with truly dreadful results.
The tattoos, gel nails and fake tan look mentioned above probably doesn’t suit many of us, but young women have always wanted to look attractive, whether their parents liked the look or not. How many on this thread didn’t look after their appearance when they were young- whether that was a shampoo and set, a beehive, a sharp bob, a Purdy cut, a Diana flick, spiral perm or a Mohican? Did you wear plain grey shifts whilst your friends had minis, cheesecloth or safety pins and chains? Most people follow fashion of some sort, at least when they are young.
I am no longer young, but I don’t begrudge young people the right to look how they see as attractive, and as sure as hell I would look my best if I had to go to a food bank or to claim benefits. They may well be doing it by shopping in charity shops and getting friends to do their hair and nails. It doesn’t have to mean that their children are starving or that they are frittering money away. The judgement is horrible- let people have some dignity, even if they don’t choose to express it the same way as you.
Well said Franbern. A few bad apples exist everywhere but that shouldn’t stop those of us who can, contributing to help others.
The key problem is how did our country become a place in which food banks are seen as acceptable. It’s shameful that the government sits back and lets charity step in to provide basics.
Franbern
Where in this long thread, has anyone said that children going to school hungry (and, sadly yes there are far too many who are these days), have Mums who are spending on having their nails done????? Talk about adding 2 plus 2 and making 5!!!!
I have NEVER been to a nail bar, but understand that gel nails last for several weeks, so that forty pound charge is probably working out less than a fiver a week!!!! I have, sadly, been in the position of having to bring up a family on benefits and eeking out a small amount of money to provide meals, clothes and entertainment for my children. Week on week, month on month.......and I know the toll it took on my own mental and physical health!!! Fortunately, this was all a long time ago for me, but will never forget it. Anything that could have given me some sort of boost would have been worth while just to keep me going!!
Until someone has actually walked on the shoes of those who are struggling, perhaps they should not criticise.
Wow … justifying getting expensive gel nails rather than feeding your kids!
That money passes through their hands at some point and I still cannot imagine handing over £40 to a nail technician rather than buying £40 worth of groceries!
I am sure many of us struggled when we were young parents so we do understand and in those days there were no benefits other than “family allowance” for the first child! I was very often first in the queue at the PO to collect mine to get us through a couple more days. I can hand on heart say that every penny of mine went on my kids, not myself.
Where in this long thread, has anyone said that children going to school hungry (and, sadly yes there are far too many who are these days), have Mums who are spending on having their nails done????? Talk about adding 2 plus 2 and making 5!!!!
I have NEVER been to a nail bar, but understand that gel nails last for several weeks, so that forty pound charge is probably working out less than a fiver a week!!!! I have, sadly, been in the position of having to bring up a family on benefits and eeking out a small amount of money to provide meals, clothes and entertainment for my children. Week on week, month on month.......and I know the toll it took on my own mental and physical health!!! Fortunately, this was all a long time ago for me, but will never forget it. Anything that could have given me some sort of boost would have been worth while just to keep me going!!
Until someone has actually walked on the shoes of those who are struggling, perhaps they should not criticise.
Primrose53
I could never in a million years imagine collecting food for my kids from a food bank but spending £40 getting my nails done or anything else like Tattoos, Red Bull, cigarettes etc.
Even dressing it up as “a wee boost” to myself wouldn’t cut it! My biggest boost would be seeing my kids happy and well fed, they would always come before my own wants.
How could any Mother watch their kids go off to school with no breakfast because she has spent £40 getting her nails done?
A comment after my own heart.
Thanks Calipso and Maddy 
I had an upsetting appointment with a surgeon yesterday, so your kindness is much appreciated.
And thanks to Meryl and all the volunteers too.
I used to love charity shops in the 80’s, I used to hunt out dresses from the 50s and 60s.
The Birmingham Flea Market was the absolute best, I’d go every Saturday.
But towards the end of the 80s there was a proliferation of specialist vintage shops, and they creamed off the best stuff.
On a more unpleasant note, I once caught scabies due to my fondness of second hand stuff.
My parents and I had to quarantine for a week, and paint ourselves blue.
They must have been absolutely thrilled.
Happy days!
biglouis
Im just wondering how someone who is not very mobile and does not drive gets "referred" to a food bank. Many older or disabled people avoid social services like the plague and may not always be hopping around to the doctors for a whinge. Also people like this may not be capable of standing in a long queue outside a foodbank on a cold day.
I know that my local foodbank (to which people have to be referred, so it's not a "turn up and grab") does deliveries to people out in the sticks and/or with mobility problems.
People not applying for benefits to which they're entitled is a wider issue. It's not really surprising there's a stigma when people like you have that kind of attitude.
PS. I have never in my life hopped round to my GP for a "whinge". When I manage to get an appointment, it's because I'm ill and need something beyond self-diagnosis and self-medication.
Im just wondering how someone who is not very mobile and does not drive gets "referred" to a food bank. Many older or disabled people avoid social services like the plague and may not always be hopping around to the doctors for a whinge. Also people like this may not be capable of standing in a long queue outside a foodbank on a cold day.
I think it's probably wise to have a referral system but with leeway when experienced volunteers recognise emergency needs.
Simply because it means we can serve those in serious need the best.
👍
Callistemon21
growstuff
Overthemoongran
It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.
I don't understand this. Why shouldn't somebody who buys in a charity shop be able to have her nails done?
I think Overthemoongran said receiving food from a food bank, not shopping in a charity shop. There's a big difference between the two.
Ah OK! My misunderstanding. Apologies.
Oreo
I read growstuff’s comments as just practical ones, nothing to do with lack of empathy.
Thank you!
As it so happens, I'm in the process of getting rid of loads of "stuff", so I have some experience of how to dispose of it.
FannyCornforth
Growstuff what a complete lack of empathy.
I’m not actually that fussed, I was just joining in the conversation.
I shall not waste time responding to you again
That's your decision!
Why a lack of empathy? Sorry, but I don't get your problem. You have items which are of no use or value to you. If you're not in a position to sell them or give them away to somebody you know, the charity shop is doing you a service.
MerylStreep
Calipso
You’re absolutely correct, we are not a service. We are there to raise money. We put a price on goods, we are happy with our decision. We don’t care who buys it.
I will be performing a service tomorrow. Someone bought a complete 12 piece dinner/ tea service. No transport 😱
As someone else said It's volunteers and ordinary folk who are the backbone workers of the world
Well done MerylStreep and all other volunteers
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