Food bank rollercoaster. Huge empathy to Fury!! Is it just me?

Calipso
You’re absolutely correct, we are not a service. We are there to raise money. We put a price on goods, we are happy with our decision. We don’t care who buys it.
I will be performing a service tomorrow. Someone bought a complete 12 piece dinner/ tea service. No transport 😱

growstuff

Overthemoongran

It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.

I don't understand this. Why shouldn't somebody who buys in a charity shop be able to have her nails done?

Nobody has said that. I mentioned women getting food from foodbanks but then spending £40 getting their nails done.

Not sure who brought up the matter of charity shops when we are discussing food banks.

growstuff

Overthemoongran

It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.

I don't understand this. Why shouldn't somebody who buys in a charity shop be able to have her nails done?

I think Overthemoongran said receiving food from a food bank, not shopping in a charity shop. There's a big difference between the two.

Oooh, yours look good too Calipso.

maddyone I like your bun better than mine. Can we swap?

NannaandPea that's a lovely post and thanks for sharing your perspective. I have a friend who always said "You can't outgive God" Whatever you give to life, he will give more.

and Fanny? Wish we could.

Sticking my head above the parapet. As a committed Christian I find my faith helps me a lot in situations such as these. I believe in what goes around comes around, good or bad. It isn't for me to judge the rights and wrongs of human nature, we're all flawed. I just expect to be judged on my own performance when I hopefully go to glory. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated and others have to be guided by their own consciences as I'm free to do.

I reckon we're in a similar family situation to OP, not rich financially, We are rich in many other ways though.
I volunteer at a food bank where the dignity of the users is very much at the fore of what we do, it takes some people a lot to reach out for help, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking for help as I much prefer to give than receive, it sounds like OP wouldn't either but we all need a leg up sometimes. I remember a time when I got ripped off for a lot of money because of an internet scam, I warned quite a lot of people about falling foul of the same scam, within a week someone anonymously posted cash through my door. I have never found out who felt lead to provide that gift but boy was it welcome.
I've felt lead to pay it forward several times by say identifying those in shops who are totting up their shopping compared to the cash they hold and just handing over a fiver with a "hope that helps" before walking off, or even paying some off a persons bill just for the heck of it if I can afford it. Good deeds always come back.
I applaud and encourage the volunteer work that you do OP, I hope you know that you are in fact teaching those you serve about kindness and compassion. Your actions tell me that you care enough to freely use your gifts and talents to help those less fortunate than yourself, your frustrations are for the injustices that you see and that is a perfectly natural human reaction. Keep up the great work serving the community with it's warts and all, and be proud to care as you do for them left behind. It's volunteers and ordinary folk who are the backbone workers of the world with their good hearts trying to cut through in this case neighbours who live in food insecurity. God bless.

FannyCornforth

Calipso , I wish I hadn’t posted that now!
I probably have a shopping disorder as it’s one of the few things I have any control over, and I can’t easily get a sense of self of self worth.

Anyway, this thread isn’t about me, so just pretend I haven’t said owt

Aww Fanny, need a hug?
Lets have some 🍰🧁

*WhyWhyWhyohWhy
As a family of 4 who can rarely afford to buy fresh fish and meat ourselves but tries to be altruistic*

OP, if it annoys you so much, why don't you quit volunteering and use the time you spend volunteering working part time at a supermarket so that you can buy fresh fish and meat for your family.

Don’t quite understand this need to be altruistic when you are struggling financially yourself.

If it was me I would re-assess my volunteering role and see if there was anything better suited to my needs. Volunteering is a two way process and feeling furious about the users is not the best use of your time. I am sure that you mean well but your anger will not help those around you at the food bank. So yes it is just you.

I have once had to use a food bank, in the days where you were referred etc, the people there were lovely, and I would probably be entitled to use one again, but because of my dietary requirements and the fact that I can't stand and cook requirements, I've never been back as doubt I could get something I would want to eat.

It's not right that people are asking for particular deodorants with special fragrances at all, they may 'prefer' that one, but for most any will do! As for ground coffee, that's downright ridiculous, who would even donate that?

*FannyCornforth - charity shops have become much more informed as to what is worth what nowadays, and some are downright expensive! Sadly most clothes in them won't fit me as I am effectively 8 months pregnant!

Opposite my daughter is a family that now has 12 children, the parents do NOTHING with the kids, nor work, it's up to the older kids to look after the smaller ones. Two of the eldest are really nice though, heaven knows how, and are desperately trying to escape it. Thank goodness you only get Child Benefit for 2 now, but hasn't made any difference to this lot. It's these sort of people that need stopping rather than group the sick and disabled in with them, which the Govt is currently doing ....

Some Foodbanks can have a self referral system, this is completely at the discretion of those who set it up. Trussel Trust Foodbanks have a referral system, vouchers issued by GP, school, CAB etc.,

While I can understand the OP's irritation at the few who manipulate the kindness of others, I am very uncomfortable with phrases such as
there’s the mums who request really expensive formula and nappies to feed children they cannot afford whilst becoming pregnant with more children they cannot afford and

Then there are those who obtain food so that they can buy illegal drugs with their money

I shall continue to volunteer at my TT Foodbank while some of you carry on with your comments on the deserving and undeserving poor.

Anyone who buys from charity shops is helping the business of the charity, rich poor or any shade inbetween.

I read growstuff’s comments as just practical ones, nothing to do with lack of empathy.

Growstuff what a complete lack of empathy.

I’m not actually that fussed, I was just joining in the conversation.

I shall not waste time responding to you again

Sorry Calipso I hadn't read your post, so mine is a duplicate.

Overthemoongran

It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.

I don't understand this. Why shouldn't somebody who buys in a charity shop be able to have her nails done?

FannyCornforth

growstuff no I can’t do that.
Unfortunately I am pretty much housebound and I have my hands full as it is.

In that case, if it bothers you where it ends up, bin the stuff which is of no value to you. The charity shops are providing a service (and making something for charity too) and the price you're paying is not being able to choose where your donations end up.

Calipso , I wish I hadn’t posted that now!
I probably have a shopping disorder as it’s one of the few things I have any control over, and I can’t easily get a sense of self of self worth.

Anyway, this thread isn’t about me, so just pretend I haven’t said owt

FannyCornforth

I haven’t read the whole thread, but I agree with you BlueBelle I give a lot of clothes (sometimes never worn) to charity shops, and it offsets my guilt knowing that someone with not much money will benefit from a lovely bargain.
I don’t give stuff to charity shops thinking that someone is going to sell it on EBay and make a profit courtesy of my stupidity

Fanny, the first question might be why you are giving away clothes you have never worn? And moreover feeling guilty about it?
Secondly, the objective of Charity shops is not solely to give lovely bargains to those with not much money though that is a positive offshoot. As any other business their objective is to raise as much money as possible for their charity. They couldn't survive on the high street if they only sold to the not so well off. If I'm selling at a Car Boot sale I'm grateful to a whole range of buyers from traders to small children with pennies to spend. If I were to be miffed about someone making a profit on something I'd sold, then I'd need to sort myself out and sell it myself on Ebay.

growstuff no I can’t do that.
Unfortunately I am pretty much housebound and I have my hands full as it is.

I did say that I knew my comment was contentious. There are other ways of looking at it, but it is something that puts me off donating higher value items.

It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.

Doodledog
I volunteer with 3 young women in our charity shop. One is the manager and receives nothing from the charity.
I know the financial circumstances of these women. They are in far worse financial difficulties than most people who come into our shop.
If I didn’t take our parcels to the post office ( in my car) there is no one else.
If I didn’t collect cushions from a lady who makes them for us, there is no one else.
I take home some clothes that are good but maybe are a little dirty. The same with clothes that need a small repair.
I have no conscience about first dibs
Ours is a local charity but not once has any of the hierarchy come into the shop to thank us.