Do I have to have dinner 365 days a year

My DH uses a slow cooker to batch cook stews, chilli, curry, spag bol, casseroles etc. Usually about 10 single helpings per batch, 8 of which go straight into the freezer. I'm just grateful that he does so, as it gives me a welcome break, and yes, he even cleans up afterwards! As for your situation, I'd get a wee bit vocal if the constantly repeated menu doesn't entirely suit you. If he's reluctant to offer some variety, I'd opt for the occasional takeaway, or even the odd ready meal. There's plenty of choice out there, and some of them are quite a healthy option too.

aggie

Why does a man cooking upset you. ?

The OP isn't upset by the idea of a man cooking, but she would like a change from having the same not-very-exciting meal every Monday, a different not-very-exciting meal every Tuesday, and so on through the week.

One improvement would be to suggest an extension of the repeats to a fortnight, instead of a week, and get some other meals into it. If, as it seems, he is already cooking his entire repertoire, that would be your chance to add to it some of the things that YOU would like - the simple platter and the take-aways and so on.

Gousto and Hello Fresh do regular subscriptions for kits that include all the ingredients for interesting meals, with detailed instructions - and he would keep the detailed recipes, which means he could make that again in the future. Both of them have much reduced introductory prices so you could try one out and cancel the subscription if you decided against it. I haven't tried Hello Fresh, but Gousto's kits were excellent, even little sachets of the herbs and spices needed were included, and the meats and vegetables were absolutely fresh. Their settings are a minimum of two kits, once a fortnight, but you can cancel a delivery if you remember to do so a few days in advance (and if you forget, you get their choice instead of choosing them yourself! I know this from experience.) Each kit serves two, but I found lasted me for three meals, and most will freeze once made - that would introduce him to the concept of stocking the freezer with home-made ready meals to eat later.

This sounds a bit like my meals, totally boring. I have to stick to it though (mostly!). My husband doesn't. So I encourage him to eat whatever he wants, and often we eat different meals.
I think you should do the same. As Wellback says, you don't have to go along with his routine. you can buy ready meals, get takeaways, have beans on toast.....go for it.

Riverwalk

I'm surprised at those who say she is lucky or don't understand what the problem is!

The OP says the husband is doing dinner for himself and just adds extra for her - that's obvious by the fact he appears not to accommodate her desire for something different or a takeaway.

Exactly. You really must insist that, if he wishes to cook meals that he enjoys, then you should be free to choose yours. As others have suggested, order ready meals and have a takeaway occasionally. Good luck! Let us know how you get on.

AmberSpyglass

She isn’t “lucky” that the fellow adult she lives with is willing to do a basic chore that’s fundamental to existence! Let’s stop all this sexist nonsense now, please.

Absolutely!

Elegrans suggestion of Hellofresh or Gousto is a good one. My DS has been 'in charge' of the cooking for a while now at their house and he finds the recipe cards easy to follow. He could cook competently beforehand but this is a good way to extend his skills.
They choose the menu for the week together. Everything delivered in generous portion sizes, nothing wasted.

That’s his interest and hobby I suppose, part of his day to day life. I wouldn’t complain, it could be far,far worse. Just get takeaway or home delivery every now and then - something to look forward to. I don’t see that being either male or female enters into it. Men cook. Women cook. So?

The OP needs to tell her OH what she has told us. I doubt if he’s a mind reader.

I understand and feel very sorry for you. It is difficult if you are able to cook yourself if your DH dominates the menu. It must be even harder if you cannot cook for yourself,whilst at the same time you are glad they are wanting to help and appreciate it.
I would suggest you make the week's menu together and make sure there are baking potatoes or frozen food , salads and frozen fruit that you can easily cook for yourself. He can buy what he wants but not expect you to eat it.
Good luck.

Of course you don’t have to have dinner every night - I’d count ready meals and Gousto and all the rest as dinners. If what you want some evenings is nothing, or a cheese sandwich, or a bowl of cereal, or soup or whatever, just tell your husband, that’s what you’re having. If you can’t prepare some or all of those things, insist he does that for you.

I do sympathise with you.

OH cooks twice a week because I think he should do a share but actually I’m cutting my nose of to spite my face, because his meals are so awful.

Plain chicken breast, no sauce, no gravy even. Plain vegetables done in the microwave. Plain white fish for the second meal. Sometimes I can’t even be bothered to chew my way through it.

I don’t know what Id do if that was every meal.

OH cooks twice a week because I think he should do a share but actually I’m cutting my nose of to spite my face, because his meals are so awful

That shouldn't have made me laugh, Lathyrus but it did 😂
Sorry!

You really need to talk to him about this, Jb2022, calmly, with suggestions.

I can see exactly your problem Jb, it must be like old fashioned school dinners!

I'm not sure that is the whole thing Riverwalk. The OP says the husband is doing dinner for himself and just adds extra for her - but is this really what he's doing or is it how the OP feels about it?
Would he have cooked at all if the OP was still 100%?

I was ill last year (and still have a few issues)... My husband regularly cooks - not every day but more than I do now - and also cooks the things he knows...
Maybe it is a bit of an escape as someone earlier said and maybe he just "gets on with it" as he sees it as a chore?

When my husband cooks it is often not what I'd choose to cook/eat but I know it comes from a place of love.
He likes certain things a lot so they figure a lot in his cooking.
They are all things I like but maybe not as often. Is the OP really like this?

There was never anything wrong with the old-fashioned school dinners I had for fourteen years. It has always baffled me that so many people disliked them.

Re the OP's problem, there are loads of good suggestions on the thread. Try some, jb 🍱 🙂

Baggs

There was never anything wrong with the old-fashioned school dinners I had for fourteen years. It has always baffled me that so many people disliked them.

Re the OP's problem, there are loads of good suggestions on the thread. Try some, jb 🍱 🙂

Many children would be better fed if they got an old-fashioned school dinner free of charge every school day.
Except for tapioca and sago pudding.

I agree, calli, about many kids' diets being better if they got old-fashioned school dinners. A lot better in some cases.

New-fashioned school dinners not so much, perhaps.

My husband does all the cooking and he is very good, we decide the menu together. Maybe a couple of times a week do what we do jb2022 we treat ourselves to coffee and a nice cake in the afternoon then just have eggs or beans on toast in the evening. He doesn't have to cook and not much washing up for me.

You could talk to him, was there anything that you used to cook that he liked? Maybe give him the recipe or show him recipes online.

You could also say, no thanks I will just have a sandwich or order a takeaway.

If a man had come on here saying he was fed up with the plain meals that were cooked for him every day the replies would have been very different.

Baggs

I agree, calli, about many kids' diets being better if they got old-fashioned school dinners. A lot better in some cases.

New-fashioned school dinners not so much, perhaps.

No, sometimes DGD has come home when she's had school dinners and said she had a piece of baguette with some kind of filling as that was all that was left in second sitting.

Just for clarification, what did OP mean by “dinner”?
A roast dinner ?
Or just a main meal.
I imagine most of us have breakfast, lunch and dinner/ supper /tea or whatever you call it 365 days a year.
Could I ask you to explain please OP ?

AmberSpyglass

She isn’t “lucky” that the fellow adult she lives with is willing to do a basic chore that’s fundamental to existence! Let’s stop all this sexist nonsense now, please.

Thank you Amber Spyglass. I don’t know any men who don’t cook, and cook well.

My impression is the OP is irritated by the time it takes to produce something she doesn’t enjoy, it’s a communication problem. Talk to him and arrange for take away or a raid on a couple of decent ready meals

I wish OP would explain what it is that her husband cooks and whether it’s the same thing every day of the week or a particular meal on Monday, a particular meal on Tuesday etc. Perhaps if we understood exactly what the problem is we could be of more help. For instance I remember having lunch occasionally with an elderly bachelor client at his club years ago and he always had plain boiled potatoes and mince. Every time. The staff knew what he wanted. No other veg, no gravy …

OP you say how regimented and routine his cooking is. I am wondering whether he is like this in the rest of his life. Does he live his life through invariable routines, for washing the car, emptying the bins, Was he like this in his work?

The problem may lie more deeply than lack of imagination in cooking. He may need these routines to run his life and cope with problems. I am not going to deal in cod psychology or imagining labels to fix to him. But if working to routines and knowing what he is doing is necessary to him then any solution must fit with his way of thinking.

How about suggesting you sit down every month and draw up a list of dishes he will cook each week for 4 or 5 weeks. Suggest that one day a week, he doesn't cook and you order a takeaway.

Is the problem that he isn't someone you can sit down and have a conversation like this with. Do you have children? can you discuss the problem with them and can they persuade their father to do things differently.

If you are childless, do you have any contact with Social Services? You could also speak to Age UK about perhaps going out to a lunch club, or social group that they run.

maybe he had a medical condition or food intolerances.
what might be appetising or healthy to someone else, might be trouble for another, esp with age.