to be fed up with casual ageism?

I constantly confuse self service checkouts as I’m left-handed and want to scan and pack in the opposite direction

In the US they have lots of dreaded "greeters"
I first noticed one there 40 years ago and still hate it.
Too jolly and too familiar in my opinion!
I must be a grump.

I get annoyed when people offer me a seat on the bus. I want to show them my health tracker to evidence that I've done my 10000 daily steps and am just hopping on the bus to collect the GD from school.

It was only about a year ago when for the first time ever a woman came to see if I needed help when I was unloading my trolley into the car at the supermarket. My first automatic thought was that it was some kind of scam....maybe somebody after my cash card or car keys or whatever. I politely refused assistance. When I told my husband however he made some ill-advised comment about me getting older....... He's recovered now.

I have no problem with dear/duck/love or similar but do NOT bless me

I rarely find people try and talk down to me but even when younger I realised that some people have to walk a fine line in their jobs when talking to the public. Getting the balance right between making sure people understand and being helpful and not sounding patronising.

I think you got the last laugh kittylester.

They don’t know you’re not a potential shoplifter though, do they?
I have never, ever felt patronised btw.

Disclaimer 1: OP I absolutely hate everyday ageism. I prefer not to discuss my age, especially in certain situations e.g. at my karate classes. I won't have my ability pre-judged by how old I am.
Disclaimer 2: I know the purpose of the supermarket DIY checkouts is to reduce staff.
Disclaimer 3: I know many people can't afford the latest technology (although many people of all ages claim to be badly off but they have all the latest tech!)

In our local Sainsbury's, I use the Smart app on my phone. You scan as you go and pay at the Smart checkout. They must assume I'm smart enough to manage because they never offer help. They will come and help if the red light is flashing e.g. for age verification on alcohol, paracetamol etc. But, if things go wrong for some reason, (a rare occurrence) you have to wave and jump up and down until they spot you! Occasionally, the till informs you that your shopping must be verified, to catch possible shoplifters I suppose. The assistant always reassures you that it's a totally random thing.

I told my hairdresser, who is a very few years younger than me, that I use that option to save money. Sainsbury's offers targeted lower prices, on things you buy regularly, if you use nectar and the Smart app. I save, on average, about £10 per month. She told me off! She said many older people can't manage the DIY options and I shouldn't get my shopping for less than people who need to use the operator checkouts! As far as I'm concerned, that money is better in my bank account than in Sainsbury's. I'm on a pension!

Older people often say they can't manage technology like smart phones and DIY checkouts. In many cases I think it's fear of change. Change isn't always bad! Embrace it (if you can afford it)!

sustar

This rang a bell with something I heard about Waitrose on a radio station recently, and on doing a Google search just now I found a BBC article on how shops are coping with an increase in shoplifting: 'Waitrose has also trialled "love-bombing" in some of its stores to deter would-be shoplifters - being extra attentive to customers, including by asking if help is needed at self-checkouts. Nicki Juniper, head of security for Waitrose, said: "While it's a sector-wide issue, we've found a very Waitrose way to tackle it.'"'

I saw this too. The thing is, I am not a potential shoplifter. The staff in this Waitrose are lovely and helpful if one asks but I felt patronised.

Being called Love! Aaargh

I love being called love, chick, hun any term of endearment really. Last night in a Black Country pub I was called babbie.

Me duck’s fine with me Callistemon, or pet, or whatever friendly term anyone cares to use.

Love it, gundy

I have finally reached the station in life - where I can play the ageism card. I love it.

• I accept friendly offers of help IF I need it - Usually not.
• I plead for help when I need it - At 76, yes ‘mam, I earned it.
• I feign stupidity over technology - I’m 76, remember?
• I love it when men hold the door for me - thank you! 😍
• If someone smarts off at me - ”Listen, you pipsqueek, I have underwear older than you!”

I’m a whiz at self-scanners!
USA Gundy

Germanshepherdsmum

I really don’t understand why people get so upset at being called dear, love, whatever or being blessed. Isn’t it better than someone being surly and looking as though you’re a nuisance? And if anyone were to offer me help with something I would respond gracefully. Being polite costs nothing.

Ay up, Orrite thair me duck?

I really don’t understand why people get so upset at being called dear, love, whatever or being blessed. Isn’t it better than someone being surly and looking as though you’re a nuisance? And if anyone were to offer me help with something I would respond gracefully. Being polite costs nothing.

I'm sorry you have this experience. I'm 65 and work part time in an admin role for a local charity. I'm really lucky that all my colleagues, all younger than me, make me feel valued, and look to me for help and advice, rather than patronising me in this way. I think you need to speak to your colleagues about their behaviour, and ask them straight out if they have a problem with your work, so that any issues can be addressed.

They also interrupt me on the phone

Tell them not to do that.

We should all show we need them, then perhaps their jobs as till operators will be reinstated and they will not be made redundant.

My aunt isn’t very good on her legs and gets a bit confused so asked for help at the airport, she just expected help with directions etc.

She was surprised when an attendant with wheelchair arrived. “I’m not disabled”, - “Maybe not Ma’am but I’m here to take you all the way to your airplane and you must use the wheelchair”.

If they are helping at the self-service, why can't they be on the check-out?

The Friendly Bloke who has helped me is on the cigarette counter, which is usually quite busy because people who only want to buy a couple of things use it too. So he has got a job aside from being friendly and helpful to people stumped by machine idiosyncracies.

Bingo summerlove

I always find these threads interesting. People annoyed that these young people dare offer them help, all while on other threads talking down about younger people.

Ageism is the last acceptable form of discrimination, and it is everywhere. From the (young, female) doctor who said "Aw bless!" to my articulate and mentally acute 92 year old mother, to the way in which "disabled"is used to apply only to younger people - it's apparently "normal" if you're over 65! Everyone internalises this idea of older people as confused, weak, stupid, of less worth to society (whatever they have contributed in the past) to an extent. It's hard to fight against, but it is worth it, if we want a society where everyone is valued as an individual, regardless of their chronological age. Sorry for the rant - maybe a bit off topic but it's something I feel strongly about.

Help

I do a part time admin job at weekends and a couple of the other women repeatedly ask me "are you ok?" in a passive aggressive way to signify if I need help they are qualified to give it! So annoying!! Im perfectly competent and worked there longer than them. They also interrupt me on the phone with comments they think I need to say without even being able to hear what the customer is saying. All because Im the oldest :-(