to be fed up with casual ageism?

I haven't quite experienced that, but any hint of ageism does annoy me. I'm 72, I have no (visible) grey hairs and I'm slim and swift-moving (notice I am avoiding the term 'sprightly'! ) I do not want to be surrounded by the attitude/expectation that I am going to struggle with anything because of my age. I do not tell anyone (even quite good friends) my age, if I can help it. Not because I am ashamed, but because a certain attitude can start to colour conversations etc. Does it matter? Yes, I think it does, for 'As you think, so you become' and only the most stout-minded of us are not subtly affected by the beliefs of those around us. Having said this I would always be gracious and polite to anyone who offered help. It's hard walking that line between being considerate and being patronising, and anyone who tries to be kind deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I refuse to use those self checkouts. I’m not a member if staff and I don’t want to jeopardise the jobs if those who are.

Unless the shop assistent's tone was very patronising, I would never myself have felt this was ageism, but purely good customer service.

I do object to hovering assistents when I have made it clear that I am only looking, but I suppose they hover to deter shop-lifting.

But then being Scottish by upbringing and Danish by marriage I am probably much more forthright than an English person would be and have no hesitiation in replying to a youngster assuming I needed help with an automatic check-out, "That's all right, son, I've been using these things since you were still at school." which could be seen as an ageist remark too.

I can’t walk far so shop late at night as I can park close to the doors. The checkouts are usually closed but staff congregate in the self service area to natter. I’m invariably offered help and to be truthful, only use the store so much as I can use their mobility scooters, have an addiction to their pate with bacon, plus need help. Can’t stand those aggravating machines. So much easier to let the staff get annoyed at them before offering to help me get bags to the car after I’ve left the scooter. !!

I had to spend some time in A & E this week. I had just told the nurse that although I am 77 I swim 3 times a week, do gardening, shopping, housework, look after my husband . Last year I decorated 3 rooms in our bungalow. After I had finished telling her she said " do you have carers?" I should have said "yes she held the pot of paint while I was up the step ladder".

I am happy to accept/reject offers of help, but what I really dislike is someone either face to face or on the phone saying “oh bless you “ I know that they usually know how old I am,Drs or pharmacy but I don’t need a blessing for being my age. Sneezing is another matter and I’m guilty of doing it 😊

At least she didn’t add ‘dear’ to her greeting. This drives me out of my mind. When a young person in a shop calls me ‘dear’ or ‘love’, I want to scream.
A while back, I tripped over my clogs in our garden and split my head open. Now my husband does an alarm sound -woooooo- when there is any uneven ground. This too drives me bonkers but I know he means well.

Last time I bought a laptop I was treated like an aged idiot by the young salesman. I then started asking him several technical questions which he blatantly couldn’t answer!
Don’t judge people by their age. I worked in computing for 20 years and could teach any salesman a thing or two 😂

I’m used to being offered help I don’t necessarily need because I’m disabled. I just smile, accept and say thank you, it’s good that people are willing to help.

I was offered a seat yesterday by a rather large young lady who looked liked she needed a sit down as much as I did. However, I thanked her and took the seat as I didn't want to appear ungrateful. I am always pleased when younger people offer to help and are pleasant. I know when I was 20 I thought 70 was ancient!

I agree. Accept help graciously and be polite if you don't need it. Young people are often more solicitous to help than one might imagine from the press and media.

This rang a bell with something I heard about Waitrose on a radio station recently, and on doing a Google search just now I found a BBC article on how shops are coping with an increase in shoplifting: 'Waitrose has also trialled "love-bombing" in some of its stores to deter would-be shoplifters - being extra attentive to customers, including by asking if help is needed at self-checkouts. Nicki Juniper, head of security for Waitrose, said: "While it's a sector-wide issue, we've found a very Waitrose way to tackle it.'"'

At M&S this morning there were “Greeters “on every door. and they wished you on your way as you left. Their tabards said Happy To Help . With the introduction of self serve and reduction of staff etc this might be the only human conversation many of us have all day. Personally at 77 I’m happy with any help offered anywhere, whether I need it or not I accept graciously.

I really feel sorry for the people offering to help others including men who do not know where they stand with most women these days. Why is it is hard just to accept help and say thank you. Perhaps try it yourself and offer help to others to feel how nice that makes you fell yourselves. I just cannot get it sorry.

There is so much fear in this country about getting older and appearing to need help. We hold independence in the highest of esteem, as thought getting older and needing help sometimes, is some sort of failure!

Unlike in other cultures we are not considered the wise elders of our community and are often labeled doddery, old, past it etc.
In other cultures older people are valued and it is taken for granted that they deserve respect and, yes, help when needed.

Personally I enjoy being asked if I would like some help. Not that I'm doddery or anything like it but rather that I have earned the right to be able to step back a bit and let younger people with more energy offer to help.

I have a lovely Indian family move in above me... they care about and respect older people and I am shown so much concern and love from them. She offers me help... some of it I take and others I gently say that I need to keep active. She also brings me down delicious meals. I don't let it make me feel old but rather that I matter and deserve this care.

Some days I am full of energy and others I'm a bit tired...all part of the ageing process.

There is a huge 'ageist' industry making billions of ££ brainwashing us, telling us we must look and act young. Face lifts,( painful and expensive) anti wrinkle creams( that don't do anything!) on and on...

The fact remains that these bodies are getting older, it's a natural part of life! I intend to grow old gracefully. Offers of help? Yes, please.

For different reasons I have twice had fairly through cognitive assessments ove rthe past year.

One of the doctors dealing with my (medical) problems sounded almost aggrieved that, at 80, I had absolutely no cognitive problems whatsoever and over achieved in several of the tests.

..in Sainsbury’s…🙄

This morning I went to pick up a 12 ltr can of paint from a local hardware store. The young chap carried it for me and placed it in my car. Must admit I hadn’t reckoned on the weight of 12 ltrs of paint! I was grateful.

OTOH yesterday on Sainsbury’s one of the managers on sorting out a miscoding on the meal deal, said, ‘ I’ll tell you what, my dear we’ll put it all through at the original price.’ Well, so you should, I thought, it’s your error. But the ‘my dear’ got me thinking. It did feel patronising, but what would he have called me? Madam sounds too formal, whilst duck or love wouldn’t be right either.

I was behind an elderly couple (even older than me I would say, and a little frail) and they asked an assistant for help. She refused and just told them how to do it in the briefest of terms. One of the people was possibly German (he had an accent of some sort). He was quite shocked and I felt ashamed. I helped them myself as any decent person would. What are assistants there for if not to help customers. This was in Sainsburys last week.

I rang a washing machine manufacturer about getting my machine repaired. The "young" lady went through innumerable questions and then asked my age group which I was daft enough to admit to over 70. She then proceeded to talk down to me in a voice I wouldn't use to a child. I assume I am more intelligent and better educated than a call centre operative. Or is that assumption ageist and sexist?

I'm 93 next month and quite enjoy being "looked after". Wouldn't have a clue how to self-serve and have everything delivered from various stores. If anyone offered to help =in a clothing store I would ask for a seat and explain my needs. If I were browsing, I'd say so. Sorry, like having doors opened for me, and always say"+Thank you". I have had a PC since 1995 and LOVE the Internet!

Yes. Strolled into TKMaxx recently, should I look at handbags first or shoes. While deciding which way to go round the shop, up comes an assistant asking if I was 'confused', as in 'are you confused dear?'

Bit her head off sorry to say, but there was nothing there next time!

My biggest shock was finding out that at 65 you are a geriatric. I take help if needed but think of myself as I always have, apart from a few wrinkles.

When trying to negotiate a car park machine some time ago, a helpful elderly gent said "You can give it a good kick - it's got no brain, you know" (strong Derbyshire accent). I always recall that now when dealing with recalcitrant machines!

If they are helping at the self-service, why can't they be on the check-out? I hate doing it myself, and never get it right. There was one check-out when I was last in Morrisons, and a long queue. Lots of self-service not busy, so I'm obviously not alone in not liking to do it myself.