Feeling let down

Hope it went well for him, I would have expected our daughter to have shown some concern, mine even did when their quite new to the family stepdad was poorly

Do send a text. I have to remind my DD’s of everything, particularly regarding their father. He thinks they are wonderful and always spontaneous so I try not to ruin his illusions, but I think they are thoughtless and should try harder.

My son has fairly recently moved into his own home, and on the odd occasion we feel a bit out touch (rare, as he phones several times a week), I think back to when I had first moved out, working full time and trying to sort out my own affairs and change of life, and remember how full-on daily pressure was.
As for the time of posting, when I was a full time working mum, that time of day I would have been taking my son to school or childminder in holidays, then driving to work, finding a parking space, and then at 8.30am dealing with the queue of colleagues, phone calls and emails! So it's possible your daughter didn't at that point have the personal space and quiet to contact you and her Dad, rather than it bring a deliberate omission.
Hope your husband is over the procedure, and any test results are good, and you can enjoy a get together with your daughter and her family.

Sorchame

But weren't we all once busy as young parents?

I know that when my mum or dad went to the GP, or hospital or indeed in for a procedure, they were in the forefront of my mind, and I would phone beforehand, which was a comfort to both me and them.

I think there has been a shift in the thinking of the younger generation, and an acceptance by the older generation of this.
I personally feel sad about it though, it's literally 2 minutes from their day/ evening- not a big ask really?

Glad to hear icandoit that all has gone well for your husband.

I agree with this. My SIL died 2 years ago aged 66 leaving her husband and two adult daughters who she has spent her whole life looking after emotionally and financially. As her illness worsened she finally admitted that they didn’t really put themselves out to help her and told her husband “you do realise if anything happens to us we are on our own don’t you?”
Even when she was in and out of hospital every week they were ringing up to ask if their Dad could collect kids from school or babysit. We have been quite shocked at how selfish they are.

They have barely supported their Dad at all and he says he can go weeks without them ringing him and it’s usually him who has to text them.

Like most of us, I have kids but I always took my parents to hospital appointments etc and arranged childcare with my husband or a childminder.

I can sympathise, i hope she gets in touch. My daughter, a very cared for daughter i have given up a hope for. Her only concern is herself and the only good thing is i know that. If your daughter has been fine up to now im sure it has just slipped her mind.

I guess that it's the incredible pressure of modern life .

I'd be disappointed as well .

But I'm glad that it went smoothly .

Wishing your husband and you well .

If you scroll down Robbo12 towards the bottom of the screen you can click on Acronyms and all will be explained!

Robbo12

I’m so sorry but I’m new to this site and don’t understand the abbreviations used. DH, DD etc?

At the top of the page, there is a list of abbreviations under the Acronyms page, I think they are a nuisance and make for difficult reading, I especially dislike the DH, DD etc as it stands for dear husband and dear daughter, the dear makes me cringe.

I’m so sorry but I’m new to this site and don’t understand the abbreviations used. DH, DD etc?

You have posted very early in the day and as you expressed she is a busy mum with a demanding job, I think it's a little unrealistic to expect a message first thing. I'm sure she would message later to ask how things have gone.

I understand family being first priority but there is only DH and yourself. Her first priority now has to be her kids and her nuclear family. Once she has left to have a family of her own, unfortunately you then become extended family.

My DH's parents live round the corner and we have barely spoken to them and haven't seen them in a month. We've had a little one to deal with, bouts of illness, busy work schedules and, being pregnant again, I have pregnancy symptoms and appointments we have had to navigate.

It's no offence to anyone but their nuclear family now comes first and I understand why she wouldn't just get up out of bed and immediately message, messaging is a courtesy and she's doing what is necessary. Try not to take it to heart, she will be in contact.

It's August kids are not in school. It's possible ke they weren't even up yet at 8:30 in the holidays. Depending on how old they are.

I share your hurt, can’t go into too much detail but middle D never calls lives in France is very ‘busy’ with work, socialising, in-laws. Her premise is call if you want to talk? It hurts.

Or maybe she’s selfish and thoughtless?

I had the opposite experience years ago with my parents: I rang one evening for a routine chat with my Mum, to be told by my Dad that she was in hospital for a procedure (can't remember what).
Neither of them had thought to tell me beforehand!
I was really taken aback and upset, but fortunately all was well.

Best wishes to your husband Icandoit 😊

So pleased to hear that your DH is home Icandoit and I hope all goes smoothly. A worrying time and quite hurtful when our children don’t send messages of encouragement. I’m inclined to agree with the sentiments of Sorchame. 💐

But weren't we all once busy as young parents?

I know that when my mum or dad went to the GP, or hospital or indeed in for a procedure, they were in the forefront of my mind, and I would phone beforehand, which was a comfort to both me and them.

I think there has been a shift in the thinking of the younger generation, and an acceptance by the older generation of this.
I personally feel sad about it though, it's literally 2 minutes from their day/ evening- not a big ask really?

Glad to hear icandoit that all has gone well for your husband.

Pleased it went well, you can relax now.

Glad to hear he’s home and you’re feeling better x

Glad to hear the update

Icandoit

DH home now and is sleeping peacefully. You're right I think I panicked this morning, it's not a daily occurrence so was a little bit anxious about it all. He's home now so that's the main thing, results in a few weeks. I shall let DD know early evening when she is finished with work and kids. Thanks to all, your advice was welcomed.

Wonderful.

You've good news for your daughter - simple email: "Your father did well, is home resting" should be enough to 'let her know', no drama.

Glad it all went well Icandoit onwards and upwards

DH home now and is sleeping peacefully. You're right I think I panicked this morning, it's not a daily occurrence so was a little bit anxious about it all. He's home now so that's the main thing, results in a few weeks. I shall let DD know early evening when she is finished with work and kids. Thanks to all, your advice was welcomed.

She has obviously forgotten, understandably it is an important day for you and your husband but it would not be so important to your busy daughter. You should have phoned or texted with a reminder if you wanted her to say something.

My neighbour is often miffed with me because I haven't remembered her numerous doctor's appointments or weekends she has booked away. Most people are not really that interested in other peoples lives.

I think you are expecting too much of your daughter. She’s clearly extremely busy.

Having expectations is never helpful.. she will most likely be thinking of her dad and you...