14 Speeches at the wedding we attended this weekend.

Speeches are just not a thing at German weddings. (Come to that, nor are best men or adult bridesmaids, and the couple's parents don't have a particular status either)

The only wedding in the UK that I can remember was my own, back in 1977. I'm sure my dad didn't pass up the opportunity of making a speech but I honestly can't remember.

So I would say that this has been evolving over the years. Let's hope it's reached its peak and will dwindle in the future. Were the speeches at least interesting and entertaining?

nanna8

Boring- there should be just 4 - father or mother, best man, bride, groom. We went to one where the friends came out with some really foul stuff about previous sexual activity. Totally inappropriate, I must be a prude.

In the UK traditionally there are only 3 speeches, best man, father of bride and groom.

JackyB

Speeches are just not a thing at German weddings. (Come to that, nor are best men or adult bridesmaids, and the couple's parents don't have a particular status either)

The only wedding in the UK that I can remember was my own, back in 1977. I'm sure my dad didn't pass up the opportunity of making a speech but I honestly can't remember.

So I would say that this has been evolving over the years. Let's hope it's reached its peak and will dwindle in the future. Were the speeches at least interesting and entertaining?

Some of the speeches were excellent but it doesn’t take 14 people to extol the virtues of the bride and groom!

Sago, no - it's not the 'modern way'. Two weddings, last weekend, with no speeches and the guests very well catered for and looked after. There was none of that awful standing around for ages while the photos were taken, either.

In my family, if you have guests, you really look after them, you don't bore then to death - even if it's your special 'big day'!

I was going to ask: what on earth did they find to talk about? did they talk about?

That sounds awful. And completely unnecessary.

😴😴😴😴

Heaven help us!
As my father used to say, there are 3 rules for wedding speeches - stand up, speak up, shut up.

The worst we sat through was at a Swedish wedding, where even if they hadn’t mostly been in Swedish (groom was a Brit but he rambled on and on (in English) for half an hour too) I dare say it’d have been tedious. At Swedish weddings apparently anyone is entitled to get up and waffle on for ages - and they certainly did. For hours.

At DD’s wedding we had a 10 minute max rule! And IIRC only 2 speeches.

Your father was right Witzend- short and sweet speeches please! I have wondered at many a wedding whether there ought to be auditions for speechmakers at the nuptials ( judged by a neutral person) and only the " best" two or three should be allowed their moment. I have a short attention span..

We once sat through a terrible speech that went on and on - from the best man who was supposed to be a close friend of the groom. I imagine it was meant to be funny, but missed - just came across as if he was slagging the groom off and didn’t really like him at all. Talk about cringe!

Good grief Sago that must have been incredibly boring.

‘Tradition’ or not, is it just me who thinks that speeches should not just be an all male affair? Traditions can and are changed and a bunch of men talking about ‘giving’ a woman to another man ...?
I don’t go to weddings so don’t know, but am surprised that brides dont object.

I went to one wedding where they chose not to do Speeches , not so much as a thankyou for coming to anyone , we thought a little rude .
I enjoy the speeches if they are short sweet and delivered with humour but my God some people do go on and on .
My son invited me to speak at his wedding and I declined , it really was enough for Brides Father, Groom and Best Man and to be honest all three were so funny I couldn't possibly have followed and not one smutty comment , innuendo or swear word amongst them .
14 speeches is ridiculous 🙄

We went to a wedding last year and one of the other guests at the table (10 in total) suggested we each have a guess at how long the speeches would take so we wrote all guesses down and each person put £5 in the pot. And the nearest in time took the prize ! Great fun and it meant it wasn’t so boring.

14 speeches - obviously a load of show offs who need the attention.

But I can imagine this happening with "blended" families" who all want to get in on the act.

Some friends have a son who married about 10 years ago. The bride's parents had been divorced and re-married. The wedding was in Manchester and the bride's parents told the friends that up there the groom's parents and bride's parents split the cost of the wedding 50-50 and that it had to be at the venue that the couple had chosen.

They didn't mind about the venue but assumed that they would have 50 per cent of the guests of their choice at the wedding. They couldn't have been more wrong!

In the end they paid 50 per cent of the cost and only got 20per cent of the guests because the guests were divided among the bride's father's family and friends, the bride's mother's (i.e. the first wife) family and friends, the bride's father's 2nd wife's family and friends and the couple's own friends' and the groom's side were lucky to get what was left. they were conned and they knew it.

The speeches were just as bad but not sure if there were as many as 14.

Two years ago we went to a wedding where the Father of the Bride had booked a videographer...for his speech. The chap ran out of storage 20 minutes prior to the end. He was proud, as the chap ran out only 5 minutes early at his other daughters wedding!

youtu.be/27WufdasQYs

If you must make a long speech at least make it entertaining.

At our wedding Aeons ago😂 It was three speeches FOB, Best man and FOG
At eldest DD wedding 15 years ago it was Best man, me (DH too anxious) and groom.

Redhead56

Weddings years ago started with the ceremony then the wedding breakfast then hours on end doing nothing until the evening. If you where stuck in the sticks somewhere it was very tiring and boring.
How things have changed we went to a very large wedding in London some years ago. The speeches went on for a hour and half it was unbelievable. It was the most extravagant wedding we ever attended. Money was no concern what ever the bride wanted the bride got. The groom is a relative and we had never met the bride until the actual wedding day.
The marriage did not last eighteen months as we expected. It was just a day that the bride wanted the glitz and glamour centre of attention the actual marriage didn’t matter.
Since then we have attended two weddings not as sumptuous both occasions were just a show for other people to envy. What a shame all the pomp and ceremony meant so much but the actual marriages didn’t.

I don’t recall any weddings like that, Redhead - not in our area of England in the 70s, anyway. Ceremony would be followed almost immediately by drinks and nibbles, then a fairly substantial lunch or dinner. And followed by more drinks, socialising, etc.

There was never an evening session - I only encountered those considerably later - usually with a deafeningly loud disco. I gather that the later music/dancing bit was usual in Scotland though, and v likely also in Ireland.

Overkill, only the best man really needs to make a speech. The Father of the Bride etc only need to say a few words of thanks and propose a toast. Some people must love the sound of their own voice. Personally I don’t like slushy, lengthy speeches. People soon get bored, especially children (if they’re allowed at the wedding). Just keep speeches short & entertaining so everyone can relax and get on with the celebrations.

Our best man was very young and very nervous, he did a good job with a nice short amusing speech but I can still see the look of relief on his face when it was over.

The only one I saw luckily on disc and did not attend was 6 bridesmaids and grooms men reading a poem about the couple, each reading a verse as well as all the other speeches and their mothers gave them away. The groom and his best man arrived by water.
I've also seen one where the dog was the bridesmaid!!!
At one I did attend the personal photos took so long the guessed sat down and started to eat the nibbles and ordered drinks.The quiz sheets were completed before the meal started.

At our son’s wedding in America we paid for the ‘wedding breakfast’ ( which takes place the day before the wedding and was like the wedding reception after the wedding - except with fewer people). I realised that all the people giving speeches at the wedding reception were men, so decided we would just have women’s speeches at the breakfast. The speeches were short and funny.

Hope there were plenty of top ups for the toasts 😂

Merlotgran - Thank you for that link, sitting here in tears! How beautiful and special.

My lovely friend got married for the second time. Best man was her husband’s old friend who he doesn’t often see as he lives in the US.

There were lots of children at the Reception and it was a very posh hotel. Quite a lot of posh guests too. His speech was awful as he made crude remarks about the size of the brides boobs (but he said t**s) and he obviously had a hangover and just did not know when to stop. I was cringing for my friend and the posh element looked disgusted.