14 Speeches at the wedding we attended this weekend.

Barrygirl

Marydoll

My son was married last year and we had nothing like this.
Groom
Best Man
Father of the Bride
Father of the Groom

It seems very self indulgent to me and I would have been extremely hungry by the time the meal was served!

All the men, I note! Didn't the women have a voice?

We did and chose not too! I had serious health issues and was just glad to be there!!.

Interest ing thing is that no one picked up on it.

I made this point early in the thread. Why only men.?

Marydoll

My son was married last year and we had nothing like this.
Groom
Best Man
Father of the Bride
Father of the Groom

It seems very self indulgent to me and I would have been extremely hungry by the time the meal was served!

All the men, I note! Didn't the women have a voice?

5 bridesmaids - average.
2 best men - don't want to upset either best friend.
I'd expect the parents & close family of the bride and groom to be there.
Am I missing something here?

14 speeches........O...M...G!!!
14 SPEECHES, about what? Or did you switch off after the first couple?
Sheesh, I'd have either fallen asleep or have gotten very drunk during them, or both!!
What on earth did they talk about, and why?
I hope they stay married for eternity so you don't get a repeat of all that yabba-yabba!!

Sago

Yes, no exaggeration 14 speeches.
5 Bridesmaids,
2 Best Men.
2 Siblings of the bride,
1 Father of the bride,
1 MOB,
1 FOG,
The groom,
The bride.
Is this the “modern way”?
AIBU?

This is actually quite common with American Jewish weddings, but we usually split it between the rehearsal dinner and wedding. Bridesmaids and groomsmen all speak at the rehearsal dinner, as well as the parents of brides and groom. Wedding is just best man and maid of honor, then the parents of the couple again.

Far too many speeches for my taste, but I'm apparently the outlier who isn't a fan. I remember being at odds with DH and his family about this when they gave me the list of speeches and I suggested cutting them down or combining some.

Pascal.

merlotgran

We went to one like that. The speeches went on and on and I felt sorry for the bride’s parents because they were completely swamped by the groom’s family. Just when we thought it was all over we had to troop outside and watch a tree being planted in memory of some absent friend who obviously couldn’t be there because he was dead!
DH muttered, ‘Lucky bugger!’

really funny...

Well, it would be quite normal in Denmark, so it may be the "modern way" in the UK too.

PamQS the Danish one was similar. When my sister, also an aunt, stood up and said a few words I began to worry it was my turn next! I just applauded loudly. 😅
The church service was at 3pm I think we got to our beds at 3am. Some of the wedding party went for a midnight swim in the sea. It was mid June so almost no darkness.

My niece’s wedding last weekend had the following speeches:
MOB
FOB
Bride
Groom
FOG
Bride’s sister

The groom didn’t have a best man but his stepfather spoke. It was all good.

@silverlining

^At least women had the chance to speak at your wedding Sago. Though maybe 5 bridesmaids were pushing it a bit….but
Why shoukd it only be men, Fathers, grooms and best men who speak.^

I totally agree.
I made my own speech when I got married 28yrs ago, probably because my husband's, step-father's and the best man's speeches were rubbish - someone had to improve on them!

My d-i-l is from Northern Ireland, and apparently it’s the custom there to invite anyone who wishes to stand up and say a few words! Her father wanted to extend this invitation to gusts at the wedding, but my daughter in law told him not to - think she was a bit worried what some of us might say!

Recent wedding we went to wasn't too bad, but weirdly - to me anyway - we sat down ready for the meal and then they did the speeches before we ate. But they were short!

Same here in the south east of England .Most weddings I’ve been to have had the ceremony,sit down wedding breakfast and then evening disco or band .
And this is all my lifetime since the 60s .Bit weird for all weddings you attended had no evening do .

Count yourself lucky! Only 14 😀
When my niece, who is Danish was married, we listened to speeches for hours. A few were in English to please us. What was nice were their friends who had written and performed songs for the happy couple.
It was lovely occasion but very long.

We just had my husband, his best man (his brother) and my Dad doing speeches - it was enough. 14 speeches is enough to make anyone want to doze off

There was just me who made a speech at mine!

Witzend

Redhead56

Weddings years ago started with the ceremony then the wedding breakfast then hours on end doing nothing until the evening. If you where stuck in the sticks somewhere it was very tiring and boring.
How things have changed we went to a very large wedding in London some years ago. The speeches went on for a hour and half it was unbelievable. It was the most extravagant wedding we ever attended. Money was no concern what ever the bride wanted the bride got. The groom is a relative and we had never met the bride until the actual wedding day.
The marriage did not last eighteen months as we expected. It was just a day that the bride wanted the glitz and glamour centre of attention the actual marriage didn’t matter.
Since then we have attended two weddings not as sumptuous both occasions were just a show for other people to envy. What a shame all the pomp and ceremony meant so much but the actual marriages didn’t.

I don’t recall any weddings like that, Redhead - not in our area of England in the 70s, anyway. Ceremony would be followed almost immediately by drinks and nibbles, then a fairly substantial lunch or dinner. And followed by more drinks, socialising, etc.

There was never an evening session - I only encountered those considerably later - usually with a deafeningly loud disco. I gather that the later music/dancing bit was usual in Scotland though, and v likely also in Ireland.

Any wedding I've ever been to here in Scotland (even going back to when I was a child) involved the ceremony itself, followed by a sit-down meal (with the speeches etc) and then the evening celebrations (when additional evening guests would join the party) either with a ceilidh, live band or disco - with a buffet-type meal halfway through the evening.

Went to a wedding a few years ago ( probably 10+) and they had a Master of Ceremonies , when the best man gave his speech, with a few anecdotes of the groom and his friends cheered, the MofC very rudely shut him down . I thought this was very rude at the time and didn't think it was his place to do that. But I bet you would not have minded if one had stepped in .

Just ridiculous- why oh why?

Very self-indulgent and not taking account of the unfortunate people who had to sit through all those speeches.

It's nice that several people wanted to contribute but the number of contributors was ridiculous.

Yawn, yawn.

14 is ridiculous! I would have left out the bridesmaids at least. At my DD's wedding recently we had 7 speeches, but they weren't long. Originally nobody wanted to speak, but we ended up with myself and DH (both pre-recorded due to nerves!), groom, bride and 3 best men!
Years ago I went to a traditional Welsh wedding (DH's relative) where they asked if anybody else wanted to speak after the prepared speeches. Several people did & fortunately we had already eaten!!

That would be so boring to listen to.🙄
Get over it, no need for so many voices (some hate to speak in front of a crowd and are totally uninteresting…), maybe 2, 3 max!
Let’s just eat, drink and dance! 🥂
USA Gundy

My lovely friend got married for the second time. Best man was her husband’s old friend who he doesn’t often see as he lives in the US.

There were lots of children at the Reception and it was a very posh hotel. Quite a lot of posh guests too. His speech was awful as he made crude remarks about the size of the brides boobs (but he said t**s) and he obviously had a hangover and just did not know when to stop. I was cringing for my friend and the posh element looked disgusted.