DIL insults our heritage

I would definitely pick her up on it. The issue here is that she's not only bullying you and your son, but your grandchildren so if you take a strict line as I do where child safeguarding is concerned, you'll tell her not to fill your grandchildren's minds with the idea that somehow they're descended from worthless people. Your dil is responsible for instilling ideas about family rivalry - very immoral.

Just can't see how anyone telling their child in front of the child's GM that their GP's come from a shit hole would think it's funny.

If you haven't told her it upsets you maybe she thinks it is funny and says things for comic effect.

I am surprised your son has not said anything to her unless he doesn't mind and finds it funny too.

I'm from the South West and my husband is from the North West, we moved up there due to work after we were married.
My mother in law took great delight in making fun of me if I didn't know some of the local words or phrases.
She used to pride herself in that people around there 'spoke their minds', but if I ever voiced an opinion, it was as if I had done something terrible.
Over the years it caused me a great deal of anguish and pain to be judged, not as a person, but as someone from a particular part of the country.
I have worked all over the country found that you just cannot make generalisations about people or regions. There are both prejudiced and broad minded people everywhere. What I really don't like however, is using someone's place of birth as an excuse to hurt them and call them out as someone 'different'.

Primrose53

Next time she says it say “well at least we know what good manners are up there.”

I wouldn’t be able to resist I’m afraid.She sounds a right snob.
My friend has a good expression for people like her “she thinks her s**t don’t stink.” 🤣🤣

I think she sounds like a chav. So let's just know her by snobby chav, or chavvy snob! 🤣
I'd definitely say something back.
I'm a Geordie myself but I live in the south east and people do tend to take the p!ss somewhat. To be fair, though, it's the same for southerners going up north!!
I'm used to it but it can be hurtful, especially coming from those who are meant to be family. And her telling her son shows no respect for her MiL!!
As for lower class, tacky and uneducated, well she's just describing herself, & I'd be sure to let her know that!

Really? not Realky?!

Or the Paddngton Bear Stare combined with:
"Realky?" "Really?" "Really?" in a certain tone of voice.

It’s not insulting your heritage, it’s bloody rude and I would tell her so.

Think I would “ politely “ tell her that although I may live in the **hole end of the country, I grew up with manners and respect for others, something she clearly does not have.

A wise woman who was going through the agony of her daughter in law trying to alienate her husband and grandchildren from their paternal grandmother, said to my friend (her sister), "I will not rise to the bait, I love my son and I know she is trying to destroy his relationship with me. In these situations The mother never wins." Maybe this is exactly the game this young woman is playing?

I also think she is insecure, but I would try to change her behaviour by asking if she has ever visited the North or why she thinks it’s such a dreadful place. Ask DS if all is well and why she says those things. She sounds awful but your son married her and she’s the mother of DGS. I actually feel a bit sorry for her.

Kill her with kindness.

Next time she makes a rude remark look sympathetic and say "Oh you poor darling". She will ask why . Just keep saying it with the occasional tut,and if nearby lay a hand gently on her shoulder then, if possible, walk away. I would do this every time she is rude. Never complain; never explain!

No you are not being unreasonable at all, she is a nasty piece of work. Why can't your son be a man and stand up to her and put her right. He is the man she chose to marry and the child you raised, who the hell does she think she is educated, middle-class but she's clearly no lady.

I'm afraid I'm one of those that will call this behaviour out straight away.I have both Scottish and English children and grandchildren. My English family love the fact they have Scottish heritage but I called out a couple of my Scottish family when they made derogatory remarks against their English relatives.. It stopped immediately. It's disrespectful and we are all family so it is totally wrong to disrespect each others heritage and I wouldn't let it pass down from children to grandchildren which it hasn't.

Sorry that grin was meant to be a reply toMy poo don’t stink 🤣

The fact that she smokes means she is an idiot. Especially if she has kids. Put her in her place, politely, stating the facts, that up north is very beautiful, apart from some areas , ruined by being knocked down and mass ghettoisation of some parts, smoking threatens her health and others due to the effects of having to breathe her smoke, and the cost...

I would say she is jealous of your sons up bringing,obviously he comes from a normal family,she maybe had an unhappy childhood.Ignore the jibes & as your grandchildren get older you can show them pictures of the beautiful scenery & explain different parts of the country & the warmth of people & how lucky to live in the UK.Sometimes it takes years to breakdown the barriers,good luck.

I'm from the North East of England and I would say, as many would agree, that people from the North are the most friendliest and kindest, down to earth people you will ever meet. I would tell your daughter in law she is a rude, horrible person and wants to shut up! Ignore her after that. Take care x

It sounds like to me she’s trying to pick a fight with you for whatever reason! Don’t fall for it!
As hard as it is, pick the high road! Water seeks its own level! Don’t go down to hers! If you do, then she’s proven what she’s been saying! You’re too wise for that! 😜

She sounds as if she's all too well aware of her lack of class and education and it bluffing her way into trying to make herself feel equal/superior. Feel a bit sorry for her, to be honest, even though she's behaving badly!

Obviously doesn't think much of her husband either! Snob comes to mind. You are correct when you say she isn't well educated or chooses to appear so. Think I'd be very sorely tempted to call her out on what she thinks of her husband, he having the same heritage and the father of her child. She obviously doesn't have good taste! Hope you appreciate I do not direct my remarks at you and your family. Just horrid behaviour and attitude.

Stillstanding

There are people like this everywhere. They are not worth the air they breath with, In fact they pollute it.
For what its worth I did some ancestry tracing and found that I come from England Wales Scotland and north and south Ireland and almost every county in England.

Whats posh and whats not posh is a matter of opinion but personally I think anybody who feels the need to point out how posh they are...ain`t!

pollute the air, very good ,one to remember

Callistemon21

Anniebach

The O/P opinion of her daughter in law shows the dislike is both sides

There's no love lost, is there!

That’s the conclusion I was coming too.

So much outrage at the uncouth woman’s behaviour by those who then go on to disparage all Southerners in the same post.

Really no better than your DIL and very bigoted.

She seems to have quite serious issues and a need to attack others verbally. Next time, look her in the eye and say “Did you intend to be so rude? I found your comment really hurtful.” If she says it was a joke then, as others have said, tell her you don’t understand and could she explain.

Seems so strange to me as none of us can control our place of birth and all areas have their pros and cons. There’s breathtaking scenery all over the British Isles and some pretty grim places as well.

One of my SIL’s used to make unnecessary and unpleasant comments about southerners, but hasn’t done so recently. My daughter has probably told him how ignorant it sounded. He has matured and realised how bigoted he was. Our extended families have always been warm and welcoming to him so no reason for his past abuse.

There are people like this everywhere. They are not worth the air they breath with, In fact they pollute it.
For what its worth I did some ancestry tracing and found that I come from England Wales Scotland and north and south Ireland and almost every county in England.

Whats posh and whats not posh is a matter of opinion but personally I think anybody who feels the need to point out how posh they are...ain`t!