DIL insults our heritage

No you are not being unreasonable and if anything I'd say her behaviour is more aggressive than passive aggressive especially if she tells your GS you come from 'the **hole of England'.

What does your son think do you know? It's just as insulting to him as it is to you.

In your position I'd be neither defensive or humourless, I wouldn't comment and my only reaction would be to change the subject.

Your son married her and it is up to him to set her straight

Smileless2012

No you are not being unreasonable and if anything I'd say her behaviour is more aggressive than passive aggressive especially if she tells your GS you come from 'the **hole of England'.

What does your son think do you know? It's just as insulting to him as it is to you.

In your position I'd be neither defensive or humourless, I wouldn't comment and my only reaction would be to change the subject.

Good advice.

This behaviour is not your son's responsibility. It is hers alone.

How does your son take it? If he, as it were, laughs it off, perhaps it is and always has been a bit of a joke between them, unpleasant though I'm sure it is for you to listen to.

Next time she says it say “well at least we know what good manners are up there.”

I wouldn’t be able to resist I’m afraid.She sounds a right snob.
My friend has a good expression for people like her “she thinks her s**t don’t stink.” 🤣🤣

Primrose .

As it happens, I don’t particularly like Somerset and would not choose to live there but I would never say anything of the sort to someone who is from there. Large parts of the north are spectacular and people, on the whole, are more outgoing and friendly than those in the south, even if many do have the tendency to “say it how it is.” My dad’s side of the family were from Cumbria and people flock from all over the world to visit it. Far more important is that they were all the warmest, kindest, friendliest people you could ever meet. You have every right to be proud of your background and it is not surprising you feel insulted. She sounds very insecure. I think it is best to try and rise above it as best you can but, if it all gets too much, you could ask her if she really meant to be so rude.

I have relations in Somerset, as you know it is very wet and floods frequently, when the banter starts they are the Swamp Dwellers, they are very laid back in the west country, not too far or they would drown.

Laugh it off, ask them if it’s true that they really do have webbed feet

If she starts sneering again, ask (smiling as you do so, of course - don't let her get under your skin) whether everyone in Zummerzat wears wellyboots ALL the time or do they just rely on their webbed feet to keep them above the floods while indoors?

Or learn a few of the phrases here www.somersetcountygazette.co.uk/news/11011425.ten-words-and-phrases-that-prove-youre-somerset-born-and-bred and use them while speaking to her, explaining that you are taking to her in her ownlanguage, which she will understand better than the standard King's English that you normally use.

Ignore her silliness.

How dare she ! If course she knows she is being offensive - she knows exactly what she is doing ie undermining you and enjoying every minute of it. Take her quietly to one side , Keep calm , no raised voice and tell her you have had enough of her bullying ( that is what she is doing) In your situation I would not be able to laugh it off! - she has the upper hand and she knows it - time to put her straight!!! I had a similar situation when I was very young . My father said to me " she is doing this because you are allowing it , tell her enough is enough and that you will no longer tolerate her behaviour. Screw up your courage and confront her , you will only have to do it once " How right he was , I did as he advised and from that day on I had no more trouble from her. It does take courage but if you can confront her you will reap the rewards . Do it when you are alone with her - don't involve anyone else. You do have the power to stop this - this is not about where you were raised it is about her power over you , she is holding the reins ................... for now !? Go for it and good luck. You don't deserve this!

Shelflife is correct - your DIL knows what she's doing. She is also a bully. In my experience, all bullies are basically cowards underneath and when confronted, soon back down.

Pick your moment, remain calm and polite and good luck ☘️

As this is an ongoing thing Grannypalmtree and not a one off comment I really would have to say something. How very rude and disrespectful of your daughter in law, I'm surprised your son lets this continued criticism continue.
I agree with Shelflife

I think your son has to be the one to put her in her place
But you can tell her nicely without venom that she is being offensive to you and to her husband and she needs to stop as it’s neither funny or clever
I personally wouldn’t resort to calling her area names as it just brings you to her level

Politely remind her that being born and bred up north has provided her with her OH, your DS, so life up north can't be as bad as she makes out.

How very rude and unpleasant. Does she not realise that the only place of worth in England is the South East? I’m joking, of course, but many a true word in jest as far as some people in the South East are concerned. They consider that part superior. I should know I used to be one of them! Now I live in Somerset, my father’s home county. Many beautiful parts but some not so beautiful.

Be proud of your roots grannypalmtree. Do you not go in for plain speaking? I think it’s time dil received some Northern wisdom.

I'd either give her the 'arched eyebrow' look, together with a rather weary 'eye-roll' when she makes her facetious comments, or else tell her straight that in your ****hole corner of England, people had the wit and intelligence to understand the art of good manners and civility, and that it's unfortunate the skill never caught on in Somerset. Then smile sweetly and whisper in her face, joke and walk off.

Rude woman. Deserves a rude response.

Ask her to explain what she means until she gets uncomfortable

She must be aggrivated about something, or just plain jealous to use such aggressive language towards you.
Its goading, so try to steel yourself and dont rise to the bait
🤣

VioletSky

Ask her to explain what she means until she gets uncomfortable

That's a good way to handle it

VioletSky

Ask her to explain what she means until she gets uncomfortable

I think that’s a good idea..

Admittedly, tongue in cheek. I would turn the tables on her. I would assume that she does what she does because she feels inferior to you because you are from the north and she is from Somerset.

I would take her aside and explain quietly explain, that you understand that among all these northerners she seemed embarrassed and ashamed of coming from Somerset, but you have never had any time for silly regional comparisons, all of you are the one family andin your eyes that is all that matters, so as the one southerner in the family she does not have to be so defensive about it and keep attacking 'northerners. She comes from a beautiful part of the world and is a lovely person - and you too come from a very different but also beautiful area and feel northerners and southerners together you span the whole country.

The thing is, quite often this totally nexpected reading of situations, is more effective than either confronting or ignoring the situation.

Oh I'm with you there!

When I first met my future MIL, and opened my mouth, and a Yorkshire accent came out followed by 'what do you do' etc and I was only a 'nurse' not a lawyer or doctor, well, that was that!!

Somerset - my neighbouring county is where The Wurzels come from, and there is an accent, and very country yokel it is, so 'now't special there' as my countrymen would say. You've that or Jacob Rees-Mogg, take your pick!

In October 2021 I moved my mum down to be near me as it was getting so that she needed a bit of help and I was 3-4 hours away and was getting so that I couldn't safely drive that far. She has moved to a village about 15 minutes away - a nice pretty village, but they obviously don't sound like she does, having lived in Yorkshire for 85 years, and she has found it quite difficult to integrate really as everyone appears to her to have a lot of money and be 'posh', they obviously aren't all made of money, or posh, but to her they sound as if they are! She has just gained a new neighbour, and they seem to be getting on, so fingers crossed she can actually find a friend, rather than lots of acquaintances ....

To be honest she doesn't sound lie a very peasant individual all round, but I suspect she knows that she isn't as well educated etc and maybe feels a bit intimidated by it and that is why she is doing it?

Dickens

I'd either give her the 'arched eyebrow' look, together with a rather weary 'eye-roll' when she makes her facetious comments, or else tell her straight that in your ****hole corner of England, people had the wit and intelligence to understand the art of good manners and civility, and that it's unfortunate the skill never caught on in Somerset. Then smile sweetly and whisper in her face, joke and walk off.

Rude woman. Deserves a rude response.

Oooh *Dickens, I like that one!