I find it difficult to cope with people who talk too much

I decided a long time ago that the art of conversation is dead . Why , ive lost hours listening to people talk about themselves , never once enquiring about me or my family. My pet hate though is a friend who finishes my sentence for me as soon as I start to speak and that wasn't what I was going to say at all . I'm often tempted to scream let me finish .
To be honest I've stopped answering the phone now it's a waste of time and I can't be bothered . I'm not sure why people think their lives are so interesting . Pull up a chair , let's talk about me . No thanks I've got stuff to do ha ha ha .

There are people who like to talk and but don’t know how to hold an actual conversation. This makes meeting up with them very frustrating and really quite boring. Sometimes I find myself interrupting their monologue quite abruptly but it’s the only way I, or others in the company, can get a word in !

I don't go out much now and If I didn't see my daughter and her partner I possibly wouldn't have anyone to speak to for weeks. It doesn't really trouble me but I do try to control my gabbling when I am with someone. I rely on the Net for company and have several pen friends as well as family members that message, email and occasionally, video.

I do some volunteering once a month and last time we had a new person on our team who I knew slightly from years ago. From start I finish she talked non stop mainly about her world cruises but other stuff too and she never stopped, I’m quiet but couldn’t have got a word in anyway.

We all need to talk there are times moreso than others especially if you live on your own and a sociable personality i e seen it come out in huge chunks but just glad she could unload! Other times when life is being moderate she's just how she was many yrs ago! Iv seen folk who have been screened from life stresses eg bills, holding down jobs , caring for family members etc be quite belittling because they simply don't understand! Sad they do t but you coukd say how can they possibly understand
Ice a lovely niece who vents it all to me every few weeks it's about 3 hrs long and coffees later
Iv a 'friend' although a bit critical way who says 'I've never had anxiety about finances'! Kind of superior ' she just doesn't realise her good fortune I guess

I have two relatives like this. One phones me every night and talks about the same things. Mainly about the covid vaccines and what it has done to people health wise. I've had enough of it. If don't answer the phone she will keep ringing until I do answer. Just recently she phoned at one o'clock in the morning!
I'm running out of excuses.
The other, I can't get a word in edgeways.
It's draining.

I know someone like this. She talks about herself all the time. If we're discussing a topic within a group she always knows everything about it and relates her own experience in great/long/boring detail. I see people's eyes glaze over as mine do, and I struggle not to say, 'ok now shut up and give someone else a chance - and stop boasting, we've all done things that we could boast about but we don't'.

I have a friend who dominates conversations when we are out in a group and it can be annoying.
I love a good natter myself and maybe rattle on a bit at times, especially to my family but I try not to dominate when in a group and try & remind myself it’s as important to be a good listener.
Small talk doesn’t come easy to some people though so when in a group those people who are more chatty naturally tend to take the lead & try & fill the silent gaps.

Biglouis - Good on you for speaking up (in both instances!)

Esmay - Well that's a good way to get rid of them off the phone then, just start speaking about what's in YOUR life!

Whitewavemark2 I imagine there are many people like the lady in the park with her dog. My heart goes out to you and others who engage with her, giving her a chance to make small talk. That’s huge. Without that brief contact she’d be totally alone - even more alone than you described. Ask her about her dog, where is she originally from, has she ever been married… questions that might unveil a truly interesting person. Just my guess.
USA Gundy

Agree V3ra. I think MrsThatcher was rather rude.

Biglouis you seem to be permanently offended.

I think it's more that biglouis doesn't put up with any nonsense from anyone, and in this instance was only saying what the facilitator should have said anyway.

Whitewavemark2

I’m coming at it from a different angle.

I (now that he is very old) walk the dog in the local park every morning, and as a result have got to know lots of people.

One particular lady walks her dogs there at least twice a day, and I have learned that she is entirely alone in the world. She sees no one except her sister in law on Boxing Day every year for lunch. That is it.

She is poor soul the most boring person, repeating the same thing day after day after day, but I can’t possibly try to avoid her knowing what I do about her life. She is also quite poor.

So in a very weird way I welcome her chat, although I do find it a bit mind blowing, the people she sees in the park are all she has, and folk are aware if it snd always make a point to walk with her or stand and pass the time of day, even though they have heard it word for word a thousand times.

That's a kind thing to do. Poor lady

I talk a lot through nervousness so you'd better avoid my company. I am not very good with silence as it feels very awkward to me. I have been known to apologise for this fault but find it very difficult to stop.

biglouis

One thing Ive noticed is that in a mixed group men often get away with droning on with impugnity. However if a woman insists upon having her say she is pushy!

This happened to me once as a postgrad. We had a male who droned on and on to lots of eye rolling in the group. At least twice he intervened when another woman was talking. I would cut in and say something like "Excuse me but Louise is speaking and Id like to hear what she has to say."

At the end of the session the facilitator accused me of being bossy. I was so angry that I pointed out that one (male) member of the group had more or less monopolised the conversation to the point of drowning out quieter members. Another woman put up her hand and backed me up. I told the facilitator that if he did not apologize and withdraw the comment I would bring up a formal complaint of discrimination against him. The facilitater quickly apologised, not doubt thinking what a bitch I was. Discrimination claims in a uni can lose you the job!

Biglouis you seem to be permanently offended. Take a day off. You will feel a lot better for it. 😀

Some people have interesting things to say but others are just serial yackers.

One thing Ive noticed is that in a mixed group men often get away with droning on with impugnity. However if a woman insists upon having her say she is pushy!

This happened to me once as a postgrad. We had a male who droned on and on to lots of eye rolling in the group. At least twice he intervened when another woman was talking. I would cut in and say something like "Excuse me but Louise is speaking and Id like to hear what she has to say."

At the end of the session the facilitator accused me of being bossy. I was so angry that I pointed out that one (male) member of the group had more or less monopolised the conversation to the point of drowning out quieter members. Another woman put up her hand and backed me up. I told the facilitator that if he did not apologize and withdraw the comment I would bring up a formal complaint of discrimination against him. The facilitater quickly apologised, not doubt thinking what a bitch I was. Discrimination claims in a uni can lose you the job!

nanna8

I think loneliness and not meeting enough people to talk to is a contributing factor. Not always, of course. There is a happy medium and in some ways I prefer the verbal diarrhoea types to the silent ones who are monosyllabic. The silent ones can be hard work and in some ways the ones who yack on and on might be trying to fill a void! All sorts of different scenarios. The ones who talk about themselves non stop for none of the above reasons - well they are annoying but I usually feel kind of sorry for them.

I think you have got it nanna8 .
Now on my own I often wonder if I talk too much in company (clue, if you wonder the answer is probably “yes” ) but you know what? It takes all sorts- so live and let live!

Redhead thank you for your kind words. The Brain Charity have asked me if I would give a talk as the 2 people I deal with say I have a positive outlook on my disability. I laughed and said who would want to hear me . But after mentioning it to others on GN am thinking about it . Talking to people doesn't phase me but what if no one came😱. Will talk to them about it and see when they would want me to do it. Seems my verbal diarrhoea may come in handy😂

I think loneliness and not meeting enough people to talk to is a contributing factor. Not always, of course. There is a happy medium and in some ways I prefer the verbal diarrhoea types to the silent ones who are monosyllabic. The silent ones can be hard work and in some ways the ones who yack on and on might be trying to fill a void! All sorts of different scenarios. The ones who talk about themselves non stop for none of the above reasons - well they are annoying but I usually feel kind of sorry for them.

Whiff you contribute on here and often give advice and support keep it up it helps so many people.

Guilty as charged my brother says I have verbal diarrhoea. But I live on my own as I was widowed when I was 45 my children left home 2 years after he died. I could go days without talking to anyone. So when out talked to anyone and everyone. Still do. Yes I do repeat myself simple reason because I have HPX and it effects my memory. I can say something and few minutes later say the same thing but I don't remember saying it.

But I have found a lot of people I talk what someone to talk to as well. A lot has happened in my 65 years and some of my experiences have helped others.

Well remember when lockdown was lifted went to my GP's could only go in one at a time and I got talking to an old man. Both he and his wife had Covid she was younger but died . He couldn't understand he was worse but she died so I told him about my husband. He then went in to the surgery ,then I went in when I came out he was waiting for me. So we talked more I missed several buses but I couldn't walk away from him . He thanked me and said he felt better talking to someone who understood.

So please don't judge people who want talk a lot . I am not lonely living on my own but I am lonely for my husband. He is the love of my life and will be until the day I die .

Also I write a lot on GN I call them my rambles so have diarrhoea of my typing finger. 🤣

Oh dear, I am that person, who talks too much! I am sure many realise that from my long posts.

My children have a colour code. When they say Red meeting, it means I should get straight to the point and cut out the wittering! .

Mama2020 Me too, I wrote about the problems of ADHD and talking up thread. nice to have someone else with the same problem corroborate that ADHD and non-stop talking go together.

Your description sounds so familiar. i want to stop but can't.