I find it difficult to cope with people who talk too much

They have to tell all that they know about a subject, and seem unaware of the glazed expressions of their listeners/victims.

Autism/Aspergers can have this effect.

It is interesting, some people can be quite good story tellers and I always imagine them round a camp fire telling the sagas but others just seem to have no self awareness or ability to hold a conversation. One family member lives on their own and I do let them get everything off their chest almost as a safety valve. A dear friend who I like very much talks at me and last time we met had to text afterwards to ask me about a family member who in all the circumstances should have been top of the chat list.

pascal30

Whitewavemark2

I’m coming at it from a different angle.

I (now that he is very old) walk the dog in the local park every morning, and as a result have got to know lots of people.

One particular lady walks her dogs there at least twice a day, and I have learned that she is entirely alone in the world. She sees no one except her sister in law on Boxing Day every year for lunch. That is it.

She is poor soul the most boring person, repeating the same thing day after day after day, but I can’t possibly try to avoid her knowing what I do about her life. She is also quite poor.

So in a very weird way I welcome her chat, although I do find it a bit mind blowing, the people she sees in the park are all she has, and folk are aware if it snd always make a point to walk with her or stand and pass the time of day, even though they have heard it word for word a thousand times.

How compassionate you all are WW. probably you are keeping this poor soul alive and well

Not really I’m no different to anyone else I think. I bet you’d do the same in the same position, and honestly it is only an hour of my life😄

I do wonder just what makes some people so verbose? We’re they always like that even as a child?
Was it a strategy to cope with being ignored by their parents and /or other siblings?
They have to tell all that they know about a subject, and seem unaware of the glazed expressions of their listeners/victims.
It can be exhausting as opposed to exhilarating.

Whitewavemark2

I’m coming at it from a different angle.

I (now that he is very old) walk the dog in the local park every morning, and as a result have got to know lots of people.

One particular lady walks her dogs there at least twice a day, and I have learned that she is entirely alone in the world. She sees no one except her sister in law on Boxing Day every year for lunch. That is it.

She is poor soul the most boring person, repeating the same thing day after day after day, but I can’t possibly try to avoid her knowing what I do about her life. She is also quite poor.

So in a very weird way I welcome her chat, although I do find it a bit mind blowing, the people she sees in the park are all she has, and folk are aware if it snd always make a point to walk with her or stand and pass the time of day, even though they have heard it word for word a thousand times.

How compassionate you all are WW. probably you are keeping this poor soul alive and well

There is a difference though between being lonely and needing to chat with people and those who just like the sound of their own voice.

I'm the same. From a different perspective: I've noticed particularly in many group situations which aren't well facilitated, the loudest get all the attention and help as they power their way to be noticed [and never forgotten!]. Quieter people get overlooked there's no doubt about that. I've left a therapy group after getting no help whatsoever due to this behaviour.

I've also endured constant droning of self pity without the person seeming to have any self awareness. I hasten to add this is after months and years or trying to support this person. But my patience was tested to my limits, their self indulgence a drip, drip like water torture. Saying the same things in order to help them progress to see it all ignored and realising they do not want to move on. The attention and drama is what feeds these types.
I won't feed it and avoid these self absorbed personalities.

I also have known someone who never stops to take a breath, no interest in other people. It's amazing to experience.

I try and interject during ramblings when it's appropriate, but am usually met by looks which say any other input is not welcome during their monologues. These people are selfish, have no self awareness and have no manners. I'm not A type A personality and do not wish to be. I find them tiring and often condescending. I just avoid now, not wasting my energy.

There are plenty of people out there who know how to converse and interact and listen with interest to quieter people and understand we are not all pushy nor in love with our own voices.

You're not wet at all! I can recognise a lot of what you have written.
One talkative friend once commented that I was quiet and was surprised when I replied,
"Well it's hard to get a word in" 😁
Maybe try that comment with your in-laws?

Yes, it’s called verbal diarrhoea 🤮

I’m coming at it from a different angle.

I (now that he is very old) walk the dog in the local park every morning, and as a result have got to know lots of people.

One particular lady walks her dogs there at least twice a day, and I have learned that she is entirely alone in the world. She sees no one except her sister in law on Boxing Day every year for lunch. That is it.

She is poor soul the most boring person, repeating the same thing day after day after day, but I can’t possibly try to avoid her knowing what I do about her life. She is also quite poor.

So in a very weird way I welcome her chat, although I do find it a bit mind blowing, the people she sees in the park are all she has, and folk are aware if it snd always make a point to walk with her or stand and pass the time of day, even though they have heard it word for word a thousand times.

singingnutty this is what is good about Gransnet, you can have your “two penneth” without being interrupted.