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AIBU

Should I have said something?

(151 Posts)
cakehunter Thu 21-Sept-23 17:21:01

Having lunch in a nice garden centre cafe today, dogs allowed, all fine. A woman at the next table allowed her dog to lick out her coffee cup and lick her plate. There were quite a few 'looks' from people sitting nearby, including myself, but she stared us all down and I could tell that any comment would develop into an argument.
I told the waitress who cleared their table that the mug and plate she was about to clear had been licked out thoroughly by a dog so perhaps the staff might want to give it a more thorough clean (or throw it away), and she said "why didn't anyone (meaning me I suppose), say anything?" What? Well, because I had gone for a pleasant lunch out, not to have a confrontation.
But AIBU feeling the staff member's comment was unfair?Should I have said something to the dog owner?
Would love to hear others thoughts.

Lizzytut Sat 23-Sept-23 22:28:31

Germanshepherdsmum

Very true Caravansera. I am far more likely to catch something unpleasant from another person than from my dog. After reading about the bacteria in a bowl of nuts in a bar, due to people not washing their hands after using the loo, I wouldn’t touch them with a bargepole.

Both well said at least I know where my dogs tongue's been and his paws

Callistemon21 Sat 23-Sept-23 22:43:16

Lizzytut

Germanshepherdsmum

Very true Caravansera. I am far more likely to catch something unpleasant from another person than from my dog. After reading about the bacteria in a bowl of nuts in a bar, due to people not washing their hands after using the loo, I wouldn’t touch them with a bargepole.

Both well said at least I know where my dogs tongue's been and his paws

That's fine if you want to share your plates and bowls with him at home but not in a public restaurant or café.

Gwyllt Sat 23-Sept-23 23:15:59

Isn’t it said that children brought up in a family with pets are less likely to develop allergies
Ever wondered why ?

MayBee70 Sat 23-Sept-23 23:17:20

I really welcome the fact that I can take my dog with me when I go got a coffee and cake. However, I always take her special blanket with me which she sits on and she has her own treats and water bowl. My local garden centre has banned dogs. They said it was a difficult decision but the dogs were causing damage to the plants etc. Maybe the waitress in the OP’s post was caught unawares and, as some people do, just went on the defensive?

Jb2022 Sat 23-Sept-23 23:20:21

Just back from 3 weeks in France with our medium sized well behaved dog. Welcomed everywhere we went along with many other dogs. Most places even put down a bowl of water for dogs. Boulangeries (bakeries) have hooks outside to hook your dogs onto while you’re in. At every restaurant our dog sat in a chair beside us with our mat under him. Most certainly all he got was admiration and warm welcomes.

Musicgirl Sun 24-Sept-23 03:32:14

I am a dog lover and we have a gorgeous (in our opinion), friendly Cairn Terrier. However, I do not like this trend of allowing dogs inside cafés. If there is an outside area, they could be allowed there. Many people are allergic to, afraid of or simply don’t like dogs. Why should they have to put up with someone else’s pooch slobbering under the next table? I am surely not the only person here who can remember the law being changed to only guide dogs or therapy dogs being allowed in shops or cafés. As for allowing a dog to lick out of a bowl, cup or plate that is meant for human use, it is completely unhygienic and nasty. I know that they are washed at high temperatures but it doesn’t make it any less disgusting. We give our dog some bits of the Sunday joint, which goes down very well but l wouldn’t dream of letting him have it from one of our plates. It goes in his bowl and that is that.

Musicgirl Sun 24-Sept-23 03:54:47

@Gwyllt, I was brought up with a cat and relatives had dogs and I was and am highly allergic to cats and most types of dog. It was one of the most important factors in deciding on a Cairn Terrier, as this breed is a non-shedding breed that has to be groomed every so often and has hair rather than fur, which means that they are less likely to set off allergies. This has certainly been the case for me.

Kate1949 Sun 24-Sept-23 09:39:06

I think some people are misinterpreting my post. Sorry if it wasn't clear. When I said 'I love my dog etc. Deal with it' I was assuming this was the dog owner's attitude. It's not my attitude l. I don't own a dog.

Aven Sun 24-Sept-23 14:18:43

My ex mother in law used to fill the dish washer with dirty plates then called the dog to clean the plates etc. She used to joke that she was just going to put the plates away as the dog had made such a good job cleaning them!

PenE Sun 24-Sept-23 15:48:23

Had the same experience. Lady let her dog sit on sofa next to her eat off her plate and then lick out her cup. I too said nothing because I am sure that it would have been politely or not ignored.Lady looked to me to be seeking the attention the dog had seemed happy enough to sit on floor until she encouraged it up next to her.

Callistemon21 Sun 24-Sept-23 16:09:48

Musicgirl

Yes, we can still like dogs and own or have owned dogs but find this quite disgusting in a public eaterie.

0ddOne Mon 25-Sept-23 14:51:55

What a strange world we live in. So many real problems to face such as environmental problems, war, children starving, but a dog kicking a plate is controversial. I've had dogs all my life; they sleep on (and sometimes in, the bed and they often lick a plate clean....and yet I've never caught anything off them. Though I HAVE caught many, many nasty infections off other humans (colds, coughs, flu, COVID, chicken pox, measles, mumps, to name just a few). I'd be far more worried what I might catch off a previous HUMAN user, were the dishes not washed correctly!

SueEH Mon 25-Sept-23 16:50:46

I mean I’m totally not a dog person and probably would avoid “dog friendly “ premises.
However… I have worked in catering and can confirm that the crockery is undoubtedly put through a sterilising dishwasher. So there’s very little chance of anything nasty being transferred.
But also gross.

ileea Mon 25-Sept-23 19:31:47

I wouldn't even have mentioned it to the waitress as I would think that the dishes would be throughly cleaned regardless who or what had licked it. Any restaurant I have worked in had dishwashers where the dishes came out so hot you couldn't put them away for a few minutes.

Mollie3 Tue 26-Sept-23 10:38:14

A lot of older people have a dog as a companion, myself included, who does not eat from my plates etc. Imagine having a day out when you cannot sit and have a coffee, or have a wander around a shop because dogs are not allowed. As for needing to go to the loo, a nightmare, in this day and age I dare not leave my dog unattended. Unruly children are far worse than the majority of dogs that visit cafes/shops with their owners.

Callistemon21 Tue 26-Sept-23 10:56:34

I don't care how hot the dishwasher, it is just very bad manners.
Dogs are animals, much loved yes, but animals.

I never thought of the loo problem, Mollie3. It wouldn't faze me at all to see a dog in the loo! But not on the seat using the toilet, which reminded me of a picture I saw on FB once.

Witzend Wed 27-Sept-23 08:08:55

I’d think the woman was well and truly in the wrong, but I can’t say it would have bothered me too much - I’d assume that all the crockery would go through a dishwasher - and, as pps have said, what about people with all sorts of germs, e.g. cold sores, hands not washed after using the loo, etc? How many men do actually wash their hands after a pee in a cafe or restaurant?

And I don’t mind admitting that our dog used to ‘pre rinse’ a good many plates and dishes - before they went in the dishwasher. A fish pie dish was probably her favourite - she was almost as good as a Brillo pad for getting all the crusty bits off.

nanna8 Wed 27-Sept-23 09:01:07

I have to say it wouldn’t really bother me,either, though it is a pretty rude and thoughtless thing to do in a public place. I also have to admit at home, when I have finished my meal, my cat often has a slurp at my plate. She especially likes yoghurt remnants. They do become members of your family these pets.

nanojee Wed 27-Sept-23 11:00:17

I would have started with complimenting how cute her dog was and developed a friendly conversation then somehow come up with the comment........ Is caffeine good for dogs? haha

Musicgirl Wed 27-Sept-23 11:26:51

nanojee

I would have started with complimenting how cute her dog was and developed a friendly conversation then somehow come up with the comment........ Is caffeine good for dogs? haha

Why? The op obviously did not find the dog cute in the slightest and the effects of caffeine on him were neither here nor there. It was the sight of a dog being allowed to lick crockery in a café meant for humans that turned the OP’s stomach and l can’t say l blame her. However high a temperature these items were washed at, it is still wrong on so many levels for this to happen. I know that there are several here who say that pets become part of the family and of course they do, but I cannot agree with those who say that dogs can be more hygienic than humans and licking human plates does no harm. I cannot think of many humans who sniff and lick bare bottoms, seek out dead animals on walks as a trophy (my dog thought a long deceased rat was a wonderful prize recently) or pick up food from the ground on a walk, however long it has been there.

V3ra Wed 27-Sept-23 11:53:51

Our dog enjoys leftovers, eg yesterday he had a third of a tin of ravioli that one of the boys had left. However anything he gets is scraped off our plates into his own bowl, and he has to sit and wait for it.
He does not eat off our plates at all 😝

Silvergirl Wed 27-Sept-23 12:00:17

I think it is a really ignorant and disrespectful thing to allow your dog to do in a public place. You can’t always assume the item will get washed to a high standard. Things can slip through the net.

Janetashbolt Thu 28-Sept-23 19:58:54

How do you feel about people changing babies nappies on cafe tables ick!! I have spoken to the mum about that disgusting habit

Katie59 Thu 28-Sept-23 20:33:54

That’s just unreasonable most restaurants have a baby changing place these day and they have go there to dispose of the nappy

Nannyof4mummyof2 Sun 08-Oct-23 20:45:56

It's not your responsibility but the lady should have just thanked you for the info instead of giving you a telling off