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daughter refusing to continue relationship with DGD

(13 Posts)
thumbelina78 Wed 27-Sep-23 23:11:56

I have been in her life constantly and now all of a sudden my daughter has decided for me not to be in her life at all. It has been such a difficult journey.....I was constantly being bullied by my daughter and somewhat abused. Now I am afraid that she will treat my DGC the same way she has treated me. The moment a new person comes along I become a no-one to her the pattern has been ongoing for numerous years. Now reality has kicked in and I have seen the true side of my daughter I am left baffled. Don't know what to do now. I have been so far walking on eggshells with my child and am afraid history will repeat itself with the DGC.

BlueBelle Thu 28-Sep-23 06:08:53

This is a bit cryptic does your daughter have a new partner / relationship and you have been sidelined and are worried that your granddaughter will be sidelined too

Do you live near your daughter ? do you normally see her and your grandaughter regularly p. How old is your granddaughter does she have siblings? Does your daughter normally look after her well until someone new comes into her life where’s the child’s father?

BlueBelle Thu 28-Sep-23 06:12:26

Also what does your title mean ? Daughter refusing to continue relationship with grandaughter
Does that mean your grandaughter lives with you and the mother has met someone new and isn’t bothering with her child ?
I m sorry for the many questions but to me it’s not very clear

Shelflife Thu 28-Sep-23 10:11:38

As I understand it your DD has decided she does not want you in your GD s life. Your DD has bullied you and you now fear this will happen to your GD. I recognize you are distressed but the ' picture ' you paint is far from clear so that makes it difficult for GN people to offer help. If you are able , a bit more detail will assist in us understanding what is going on .

maddyone Thu 28-Sep-23 10:35:05

I was unable to understand exactly what is happening either so felt unable to comment last night when I first read this.

Smileless2012 Thu 28-Sep-23 10:48:20

That's my understanding of the OP too Shelflife.

If this is the case thumbelina I'm sorry that you and your GC are being treated this way but unless your D changes her mind there's nothing you can do.

If this happens when she has a new partner in her life, and you are allowed back in when that relationship comes to an end, in all probability this will happen again in the future but of course this is totally unacceptable for you and your GC.

I'm sorry but all I can say is to wait until circumstances change. Her treatment of you wont necessarily be repeated with your GC but I understand your concerns and wish there was something proactive I could suggest.

lemsip Thu 28-Sep-23 11:04:26

thumbelina sit it out and find things to do to occupy your mind.. she will come back to you as she usually does according to what you write.

Mamasperspective Thu 28-Sep-23 12:33:22

What's her reasoning for going NC with you?

Hithere Thu 28-Sep-23 13:16:55

What triggered the change?

Smileless2012 Thu 28-Sep-23 13:31:35

Judging by the OP Hithere this is how things are; nothing's changed.

Allsorts Thu 28-Sep-23 22:57:54

More detail is needed to understand. What I have learnt to my cost, is not to accept being treated as you are. Your daughter treats you badly and doesn't see you when she has a new partner and comes back when a relationship finishes and you fear you gd will get the same treatment. All you can do is keep your cool. Keep busy and be a safe haven for your granddaughter when allowed to see her. You have to try and change the way you react to keep your sanity as you cannot alter your daughter. I was walking on eggshells for years, took so much abuse, in the end I walked away, nothing I did made any differerence as I realise now, I should have done it years before. Your daughter has the control now, it won't last.

Loubee Mon 23-Oct-23 18:56:57

I’m going through the exact same thing at the moment, every relationship since 17 has been this way as she always goes for controlling people who don’t want her to have contact with anyone else. The last relationship lasted 6 years and resulted in my granddaughter who I have basically helped to raise since she was tiny and now after 8 weeks with a new man she has them staying at her place with little one there which I don’t agree with. I met him at her insistence and he spoke to her like a piece of dirt and kept staring her down. I’m worried for my granddaughter as despite me having her 3-4 days per week and seeing my daughter regularly. I now have low contact with daughter and too scared to say anything as I know she will stop me seeing granddaughter. It’s making me ill

Bunn1e Thu 09-Nov-23 19:11:55

It is such a painful situation as you still see your 'baby', not an adult that, for whatever reason, is being unkind. My heart is with you