Minding GC for four days

I have looked after my oldest 2 GC, from the age of 3 or 4 years, and tbh, whenever I had them for the night, I hardly slept. I would be checking on them regularly, checking their breathing (very unreasonable !). And on the odd occasion I had extreme thoughts, just like the OP.
I’ve had them to stay for a couple of days, when my daughter had to go away with work. I don’t think I’ve had for more than 2 days at a time. The other GPs helped a lot as well.
To answer your question, YANU.

Many years ago when I was a teenager, the family I babysat for wanted to take their older children away, so I was asked to stay with the younger two at the Grandma's house - I was totally responsible for the children's needs but she did take us out for days and sometimes play games with them, and I was allowed out in the evenings when I had bathed them and put them to bed! I think someone up thread mentioned that sort of idea for angela998. I have had DGC whilst parents went away several times ( I do have DH for back up, though he is not very hands on) and will have them again for about 5 days in December - they are 9 and 6 year old twins (but I guess it is different as they are coming over from Australia and it is always so special but hard work) and in a couple of weeks time I am having baby GS - 14 months old for about 24 hours, not sure how that will go as he has not been away from his Mum and Dad for a night yet. I am 70.

Sorry - meant to add - you should not be bamboozled into doing it if you don't feel up to it.

My Dgc is 3 and my Ds and Ddil had a newborn just recently. My DH and myself looked after her for 4 days as Ds and Ddil were in the hospital. She knows us well and we have a good bond with her . There we no upsetting moments. But, it is hard work and a massive responsibility. I was exhausted after 4 days and 3 nights . I honestly believe if i didn’t have my husband to help and if it was looking after 2 Dgc i would decline . I think it’s an enormous task . And I am in good health . Please don’t feel pressured. Go with your gut instinct.

I was apprehensive of looking after my two and a half year old grandson in his own home while my DS and DiL had a weekend away before the birth of their second child. I had my DD with me too, but I worried that if he got upset we might not understand what was wrong. In the end we had a fun time with few problems. It was my DD's idea to offer them the opportunity to go away. A lot depends on how well you know the children. My grandson lives 200 miles away so I don't know him as well as if he was local. However I wouldn't have taken the task on alone. My GS was still being breastfed at one year old so that wouldn't have ever been an option! If I lived nearby I'd probably be much more confident as I'd see the GC more frequently and probably be used to looking after them for short periods regularly. So much depends on the specific circumstances. As others have suggested, could you take a friend with you? If you know the children well having 2 people could take away your anxiety.

That’s meant to read there were no upsetting moments .

I really don’t understand why any parent thinks it’s ok to a) leave two young children for so long and b) thinks it acceptable and reasonable to ask a solo grandparent to take on their care for 24 hours a day.

There seems to be too much expectation these days of what grandparents should do, especially if it’s for something like allowing the parents to go on holiday without their very young children.

We have a large family and I’ve done plenty of baby sitting and child minding but was never asked to do something like this. When the grand babies kept coming along I declined to babysit by having the children overnight at our house when more than one child was involved. Just too much.

Truddles
I had the two of them overnight (or was it 10 nights?
🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’d just add, I once looked after Gdd1 who was still under 2, for the majority of a week while her small baby brother was in ICU with a severe dose of bronchiolitis - dd was with him for most of the time.
She was a relatively very easy little girl, but I still felt like a wet rag when I finally got home, promptly went down with a stinking cold, followed very quickly by shingles.

I still put that down to my immune system being compromised by sheer exhaustion. I was 68 at the time and generally very healthy, no mobility problems, but still….

You atre right to refuse.Looking after someone else's kids , you realy have to be on high alert at all times.Very stressful for anyone never mind elderly with perhaps a little hypertension or age related probs.I agree wirh lemsip and don't be made to feel guilty, do what you can and not what they decide for you to do.my best wishes to you.

I think it's too much to have them on your own .....at any age. My OH and myself have had GS for a week last year when he was 3 and this year when he was 4 . There needed to be 2 of us for just that one tiny person. It was exhausting

I had the 15 month old and the 5 year old overnight last Saturday, just to give the parents a break and a proper night's sleep (the toddler is a whirlwind who also doesnt sleep well).

Having no other adult there to help out made it both difficult and exhausting.

I had done all the dinner prep before they arrived, but just cooking and serving it with them clamouring for my attention was a battle.
Then after I had bathed them (seperately, while the toddler screamed blue murder while trying nonstop to climb into the bath too) then put them to bed and was ready to collapse on the sofa, I first had to clear up the kitchen and wash the inexplicably huge pile of dirty crockery etc. that was still waiting to be done.

As expected, I was up for two long periods of time in the night when the toddler was awake, plus woken again when the older one needed the bathroom and needed me to turn the light on.
I only got a shower in the morning by getting up while both children were still asleep, though after less than 5 mins in the bathroom the 5 year old was knocking on the door asking why i was having a shower "in the middle of the night" 😂. Two minutes outer the toddler was crying to get up too.

It was all very full on, leaving me completely drained, and that was after just one night!

angela998, I don't blame you one little bit for saying no to four nights.
Even with another adult there sharing the work and the responsibility, it would be hard work. Alone, too much for most of us to take on other than in an emergency.

Looking after 2 children on your own especially so young is a massive responsibility and exhausting I look after my GC regularly but only have 5 year old overnight my daughter was in hospital recently and he stayed with me I've got to say it was exhausting I feel leaving them so they can have a holiday is unreasonable and lacks concern for you

Why do they have to go abroad? Even a couple of nights somewhere not too far away would be a lovely break for them (and more than we got when our three boys were young!) There seems to be an expectation now that parents of young children are somehow entitled to a break and that grandparents are being unreasonable by refusing. At one and three years of age, they’re far too young to be left for such a (what will seem to them) long time. My advice would be to say no to what they’re proposing and even if it becomes a shorter, more local break, still don’t do it on your own. You’ll be physically snd mentally exhausted. There’s a reason why we have children when we’re younger!

I often looked after my granddaughters from the moment they were born. They stayed with me, or I stayed at their house, sometimes for weeks at time. I absolutely loved it. Not once did I think "what would happen if I fell ill?"! Anyone, regardless of age, can suddenly fall ill. Unless you have a health condition that could predispose you to sudden collapse, I can't think why that would even be a thought? I now have a 15 month old GS but unfortunately I can't do as much with him as I did with his sisters due to my health (no risk of sudden collapse, just severe pain 24/7), and I'm so upset about it. If I were well I would leap at the chance to spend one on one time with my GS.....

OddOne
On March 30th last year, I took my baby granddaughter out in her pram, leaving my fit and healthy 73 year old husband in the kitchen. An hour later, I was staring at his dead body.
I could have gone shopping without her and left her with her grandpa. Try to picture that scenario.
That is why I was worried about caring for her on my own a few months later. I realise that my fears seem illogical to some.
In my view, it's accepting that the older one gets, the greater the risk and that it is foolish to ignore that fact.

I think it is a cheek to even ask. I certainly wouldnt do it just for a holiday - an emergency is one thing. When my children were young we had no family around anyway so all care was our responsibility. A holiday is not a necessity.

If you do it this time you’ll be asked to do it again. Say no you’re very sorry but it’s too much for you, too big a worry for you. They would miss their mummy so much at that age and you would probably not be able to sleep as you’d be kept awake all night listening out for them. I know I would. It would be exhausting for you.