My daughter was married for 25 years, divorced, came out with a large financial settlement and immediately forged a relationship with an old school friend. Lovely guy, nothing to his name financially, divorced, family man, we treated him like a son. I was a little concerned that she was spending all her money and didn't buy another home. They were travelling a lot, nice cars, expensive jewelry purchases, away at luxury hotels every weekend. They started a couple of businesses that folded with massive financial losses. Her money, she was happy. But then the money ran out, so she came to live with me. Not a problem until one day she broke down and said they had separated (he was working away), she found out he was visiting 'massage parlours'. Had been caught out 6 times over the past 5 years. This explained all her drinking problems (I thought it was dealing with the breakdown of her marriage). He collected all his stuff and left. They had a business in Scotland that she went to check on, he went to his dads, but 4 weeks later she text to say she has got back with him, and he's promised her he never done anything other than have a 'sports massage' (they are not recognised businesses, she checked the numbers online and they are all sex workers on social media) and he will never go again, and she believes him.
When I reminded her of all what she told me, her aunts and her nan and grandad, and how she was drinking and had to go for counseling to cope with her anger and the betrayal (her husband never cheated on her in 25 years), she said she didn't tell any of us that at all. Now she wants to come home to my house, with him, as if nothing has happened.
As a person he is a lovely man, I believe what she told me did happen, and I cannot understand why she is now denying what she told everyone in the family (except her 4 daughters) who are happy that they have reunited but can't understand why all the family are distancing from him.
I love my daughter, I want her to come home, she has no where else to live, but she wont come without him. I know he loves her, but he has never been a provider, he has always let her pay for everything, only working one week in 4 since they have been together claiming he has a bad back. I believe what she initially told us to be true. I don't understand why she is denying what she said and I am angry to think he is treating her so badly.
Everyone in the family seems to feel it either didn't happen (it's her insecurities) or if she is willing to overlook it, so should I . . they all avoid him. My partner believes it was not true . . claiming she is a drama queen, insecure and drinks too much . . . I believe it is true, and that's why she drinks . . I just don't know how to deal with it.
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