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AIBU

Am I wrong to think this is rude ?

(91 Posts)
MiniMoon Sat 28-Oct-23 10:39:00

My DD lives a house that is a little lower than the street. People passing by can look straight in to her kitchen. She bought some privacy film (the frosted glass design) which allows light in.
As for the conversation across your garden, Winter is coming, the clocks go back tonight so perhaps that will stop until Spring.

Luckygirl3 Sat 28-Oct-23 10:32:29

Pop out and join in the chat? You may find you enjoy it; but if not it might put them off doing it!

Granmarderby10 Sat 28-Oct-23 10:24:49

The “sticky film” is actually much nicer than it sounds. There are many different designs from subtle to elaborate. Look online.

henetha Sat 28-Oct-23 10:14:52

That would really bug me. I do like my privacy.

FindingNemo15 Sat 28-Oct-23 09:10:50

My DD bought some roller blinds from Ikea. She can see out, but they cannot see in unless you have your lights on.

I would hate it and yes it is rude.

MerylStreep Sat 28-Oct-23 09:02:36

Oh dear 😱 you could be talking about our very friendly small close.
Just be grateful you have friendly neighbours.

Smileless2012 Sat 28-Oct-23 08:54:05

I think it's rude too and am surprised that anyone would do this, especially if a conversation takes place when you're in your garden.

Sara1954 Sat 28-Oct-23 07:26:14

I was in exactly the same situation many years ago in our first house.
I would be outside with the children, and they would talk straight across me, not just for a few words, but for whole long conversations, it was as if I wasn’t there.
Yes it’s very rude, but without risking ill feelings, I don’t know what you can do.

lemsip Sat 28-Oct-23 07:09:16

that must be why the house became available.!

BlueBelle Sat 28-Oct-23 06:58:17

Oh turn your floodlights off while they are outside and put them on when they go in Surely they won’t want to talk in the dark and cold or wet
It’s a problem because you don’t want to alienate them if it was people you didn’t like I d suggest higher fencing but that would lead to bad feeling which you don’t want if they re nice people

loopyloo Sat 28-Oct-23 06:51:17

For a while, I would switch off the security lighting in the evenings and hope as the weather deteriorates they might stop.
Also I might go out there and do some chores and walk between them pointedly. Just enough to make them feel awkward.
Reclaim your space.
Best wishes.
Best of luck.

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 28-Oct-23 06:47:32

Coolgran65

Sticky film or a blind sounds good.
I wouldn't worry about being in my dressing gown. Just chat on regardless (if you want to) for a few minutes with a friendly quip....right ladies, I'm going in now, I hope you're winding up soon cos is like some quiet.

That sounds like a good plan

Coolgran65 Sat 28-Oct-23 06:44:48

Sticky film or a blind sounds good.
I wouldn't worry about being in my dressing gown. Just chat on regardless (if you want to) for a few minutes with a friendly quip....right ladies, I'm going in now, I hope you're winding up soon cos is like some quiet.

Gangan2 Sat 28-Oct-23 02:53:26

NotSpaghetti

I think.this is quite common to be honest.
It was actually a reason why my daughter ruled out a house when she was buying a terrace last year. She arrived to second view as a conversation was in mid flow.

I think I would go on leaving my door open but maybe have a net over it at least (or a curtain/blind in the winter).

If there's a floodlight outside how does it illuminate you?

One of my other daughters has a big window that people can easily look in. She didn't want blinds/nets so has put sticky film on her window up to about chest height. This means she can look out but it's awkward for people to look in because of the height/angle of the surrounding land.
Maybe that's something you could consider?

Another option is to go out and join in.
Maybe that would work for all of you!

I have to admit I never thought about it before moving in . I think it is something that they started during lockdown possibly.
I do go out and join in quite often but if I have had my evening shower etc I would feel I needed to get fully dressed again.
You are right, I may have to put something up to the glass maybe unfortunately.

NotSpaghetti Sat 28-Oct-23 02:38:50

I think.this is quite common to be honest.
It was actually a reason why my daughter ruled out a house when she was buying a terrace last year. She arrived to second view as a conversation was in mid flow.

I think I would go on leaving my door open but maybe have a net over it at least (or a curtain/blind in the winter).

If there's a floodlight outside how does it illuminate you?

One of my other daughters has a big window that people can easily look in. She didn't want blinds/nets so has put sticky film on her window up to about chest height. This means she can look out but it's awkward for people to look in because of the height/angle of the surrounding land.
Maybe that's something you could consider?

Another option is to go out and join in.
Maybe that would work for all of you!

Gangan2 Sat 28-Oct-23 02:22:11

I have fairly recently moved into a terraced house and although happy with the move I am struggling with a situation which occurs quite regularly. My neighbours either side of me have been lovely and made me feel very welcome in many ways and genuinely wouldn't want to upset them but they have one habit which makes me uncomfortable.
They have known each other for quite a few years and obviously have a strong friendship which is lovely and catch up with each other most days. My problem is that their catch up is sometimes over the garden fence (we have very low fencing between our gardens) and because I am in between their houses the conversation takes place across my garden if that makes sense? During the day I don't have an issue with this but of an evening I find it a bit of an invasion of my privacy, especially if I have had my shower etc and want to cook my dinner. I feel that I have to get dressed again etc as my kitchen window and glass backdoor is right where they stand either side leaning over their fences talking. I like to have my door open when the weather was nice but feel the need to close it when they are there and now it's dark early their constant movement brings my floodlight on so I am totally illuminated inside and out if that makes sense? Their voices are also quite loud ( because of the distance between them) and I can't hear anything that I may be listening to whilst cooking etc or having a phone conversation. This can go on for 30 minutes or more before they go back inside.
I have absolutely no issues if its during the day and I am around and we all tend to join in chatting as we pass etc. Which is lovely and I couldn't bare to fallout with either of side as they are such good neighbours apart from this habit and I can't stand atmospheres!
I am a very social person but I just feel a bit invaded by this of an evening. AIBU? Or do I need to stop being a grump ?