Shoes off

Do people differentiate between 'visiting' as in staying overnight, and 'visiting' as in coming in for coffee?

To me there is a huge difference - I may well take slippers when staying overnight, but won't have them about my person otherwise.

maddyone

My family all take their shoes off when they visit and we do likewise when we visit them. I always take my slippers with me when visiting someone else’s house.
And like whiff I always use a coaster both at home and when visiting and I expect others to do so when visiting me.

And what if they don’t want to remove their shoes do you then ask them to leave.

We have never asked anyone who has come to our house to remove their shoes, and we have never been asked to remove ours. People always wipe their shoes on the doormat before coming into the house and that’s enough for us . It strikes me as very odd to wander around someone else’s house in your slippers.

I used to go to a lot of parties in the country and London - all sorts of people, all sorts of flooring. On wet and muddy country days we all wore boots and changed into shoes, or wiped our feet very carefully. On no days in London did we change shoes unless we wanted to (flats for killer heels - if no wooden floors!) I wouldn't object to taking shoes off, but I'd want to know in advance so I brought my own ballet flats and didn't have to wear anyone else's (eg bare feet in summer = chance of verrucas or other diseases) or disposables (environment and slippery floors). I now live in a country town and still no one takes slippers/asks for shoes off. I do have Moslem friends and they haven't on visiting me but they have invited me elsewhere than their home so wouldn't know. My husband is so handicapped by pain and age he would refuse an invitation rather than go through the effort of taking his shoes off and putting them back on again.

Think it’s rare for anyone to ask a guest to remove their shoes inlsss they are covered in mud, think what’s being said it is now generally the norm when visiting someone.
I would have no problem if some one (even Older than me) with balance problems etc keeping shoes on but as I said before, I can’t actually remember the last time I wore outdoor shoes in anyone’s house.

I wouldn’t dream of asking anyone to remove their shoes in my house. My guests’ comfort is far more important than my flooring!

Shoes off for me, but never for anyone who has mobility issues. They would have to be covered in mud to do that and the ore son the selves wouldn't want it bought in, of course there would be a chair provided. My son doesn't remove shoes, says they are clean, but he doesn't wear them in his own house, it's not worth worrying about really.

When I was growing up, it was never a thing to remove shoes. Since living overseas for several years, where it's customary to do so, I've now got into the habit of taking off my shoes whenever I visit someone's home. Sometimes, the host will say not to worry about removing them, but otherwise I always ask.

Our flooring is all wooden or tiled so I really don't mind people keeping their shoes on in my house if they wish to do so as it's easily cleaned. However, my daughter, who lives in the UK, always insists on no shoes in her house, which is fully carpeted, so I understand why, and we always take our slippers when visiting.

When we relocate back to the UK, our new home already has new light coloured, plain carpeting throughout (vendors choice!). I will definitely not be wearing my outdoor shoes indoors, and I will change into slippers/flip flops (in the summer!). I would hope that visitors would remove their outdoor shoes, not for hygiene reasons, but purely to protect my lovely light carpets from dirty stains. If I visited someone's home and left a dirty stain on their carpet I'd be mortified!

However, if we had a dinner party, I don't think I could bring myself to ask our guests to remove their shoes. I would hope they'd have the courtesy to wear relatively clean shoes, and wipe them well before entering! Or, I'd send everyone a funny message telling them to bring their slippers if they want to feel comfy, and hope they get the hint!

I wasn’t brought up to remove shoes but to certainly use the door mat provided . Nir were my kids ….but my grandchildren do remove their shoes in my house and I tell them it’s unnecessary. ….its thier dads influence , who was brought up that way! It’s all relative…I don’t mind removing shoes if my socks are decent !

I agree, Aveline, nothing like that in my childhood home but the family always wore slippers indoors. I really dislike being asked to remove my shoes and ask, if not pre-warned, if they have any slippers I could wear because of a condition I have in one foot. I have 2 door mats by my front and back doors I feel sure that using the rough and then the softer one hasn't cleaned them sufficiently then I'll just live with it! I have carpets throughout!

I agree, Molly. I would rather have stockinged feet than wear someone else’s slippers, but it’s Hobson’s choice really.

I’m shuddering at the thought of wearing other people’s footwear, even pairs of slippers that have been shared around, but if it doesn’t bother you there’s no problem. I never buy second hand shoes either.

I was brought up to take my shoes off in someone's house unless they insist I don't. My daughter and her children do likewise, as do my son and his young son. I have a pair of slippers at her house and my son's.
A friend who likes shoes to be removed, she gives me a pair slippers to shove on. I hate padding around in socks.

If any of my friends asked me to take off my shoes at their house they would have to put them back on for me on the way out!
I have gadgets for the job at home, but do not take them with me when I go out!

Only Neat Freaks would ask or expect you to leave your shoes at the door. They SHOULD provide a chair or bench if that’s how they feel about family, friends and visitors.

I never ask visitors to do this unless they have big black boots. Plus, they always nicely ask first. (Very light carpeting here)

All contractors/workmen already use slip-on covers or spread tarps on the carpeting.

As a child cant recall ever having to take shoes off entering home or anyone elses at any time even up until approx 15 years ago no one entering had to take their shoes off. Wellies though seemed to command the "take off"habit. I think its since the designers convinced us all we needed beige/pale carpeting that the shoes off habit arrived. Before we a had patterned usually darker carpeting that didn't show the dirt the same. And of course we are all now paranoid about cleanliness.

I read somewhere that asking people to remove their shoes is rather 'common'. It implies you are short of staff to clean the floors.
But seriously, if you're going to a gathering or dinner at someone's house, you tend to wear quite fancy footwear. Not something you want to leave in the hallway and wreck the impact of your outfit. Also, I speak as someone who is 5'2" and really doesn't need to be without a bit of heel. Sorry, but if you invite people in, then just deal with the fact they wear shoes. How picky can anyone be? Life is full of bits of grubbiness. It's not as if you're about to lick the carpet, is it?

As a family , we take our shoes off when entering the house and use slippers . But I wouldn’t ask visitors to remove their shoes as we have hard floors downstairs and a large mat by the front door . Some visitors say shall I remove shoes and I always say no need , I’d rather my guests were comfortable. And in other peoples houses I remove my shoes as it’s become a habit . Again most people say oh it’s fine .
As for a chair or stool , our hall is too narrow .

I don't know how most hallways can have enough seating for a whole book group or other meeting's worth of people to change their shoes when it's home time. We have one chair, but there isn't room for a dozen, and if people formed a queue they'd be there all night, particularly in the winter, when people tend to wear warmer shoes or boots, which take longer to fasten.

I think that it’s sort of rude to expect guests to remove their shoes. I have a sturdy mat built into the porch floor and a large non slip mat at the entrance to the hallway. That should be enough of a clue as to what is expected . I can’t walk without shoes so wouldn’t be able to remove them. I don’t have carpets downstairs. I find them a bit unhygienic from when I had a dog. Much better with solid wood floors.

If people insist on shoes off then they should ensure that there is something to sit on when people take their shoes off/put them back on. I need to sit down if I put a pair of slippers or warm socks on
I'd not insist on shoes off for ordinary outdoor shoes or shoes that have gone from front door to car then to my front door. I would hope that visitors wouldn't arrive with muddy boots and then not take them off.

Shoes off in our house. We wear slippers indoors and most people automatically assume that homes are shoes off these days. My husband comes from a country where it is the norm and I prefer it as it helps keep the house clean. @Suedonim, I was at school in the seventies and it was always a rule to change into plimsolls in order to keep the floors clean; especially the parquet floor in the hall. We only had one set of friends (who were always very welcoming) who insisted on shoes off. They and their home were always immaculate. Their two children, who were the same age as my brother and me, were the only children in the whole primary school who came out of school looking as immaculate as they went in - socks clean and up to the knees, no paint or food spilled onto the uniform.
My mother always kept a clean house but it is only in recent years that no shoes has become the rule. I generally take my slippers with me when visiting. I have always been one for mats and coaster. This was drilled into me from a very early age.

I don’t mind taking my shoes off when popping in to visit friends, although I would never dream of asking anyone to take them off in my house, but I do object very much if I’m asked to take my shoes off if I’m going into someone’s house for a drinks or dinner party. I’m short - 5’ 2” - and my party shoes with heels/platforms are part of my outfit. I feel quite uncomfortable in my stocking feet amongst hordes of giants.

I hate taking my shoes off when I visit people. I’ve usually stood in front of the mirror beforehand to decide which shoes go best with my chosen outfit. My feet also get very cold without shoes which brings on the arthritis in my feet which is very painful. Neither would I want to wear communal slippers. If someone warned me in advance that that was their wish I would take pre cleaned shoes with me. If I’m wearing muddy boots then, obviously, I would take them off. The policy for our own house is shoes are ok downstairs where we have hard floors and rugs. If visitors go upstair, which is rare, we ask them to remove their shoes.

Seeing all those mortified older ladies in stocking soles with bunions and corn plasters on display at that unexpectedly 'shoes off' party was awful. Our new neighbour must really regret her insistance on it.

Aveline

merlotgran where did you get the idea that all guests would all be shown to a boot room in large country houses? Simply not done.

That is not what Merlotgran said.