To be blindsided by DNA test?.

I'd imagine they'd need DNA test just incase the wrong person inherits!

If he's not inherited anything then he's not his son.

OP it sounds like you had a really tough time when you was a teenager, you were took advantage of by men. Don't beat yourself up for things you cannot change. Your son also sounds like he's a rough time.

Be kind to yourself.

VioletSky

I wanted to focus on OP from the beginning... Read back

I'm not really interested in arguing but I will defend my right to have my own thoughts and give my own advice

Defend away, best of luck and I hope you follow the advice you like giving to others. It's not easy to argue with yourself verbally, is it?
Merry Christmas.

I support all the comments made above and the legal knowledge GMS has.
I hope you find closure Buttonjugs and come back and read these supportive comments.
Lots do things in their teenage years they wouldn't do when they are older. To go into CBT counselling would as been said give your son another platform to hurt you.
I hope you find peace. Go forward with your life not looking back and regretting.

M0nica

VS Go back to the post Germanshepherdsmum made on Sat 16-Dec-23 10:21:56, to be found on page 1 of this thread.

In that thread GSM, who is a solicitor, shows quite conclusively that the tale the son is telling is impossible because if the way our legal system works and Heir Hunters work.

There is absolutely no reason why the OP should consider her son's story as anything other than a tissue of lies.

In that thread GSM, who is a solicitor, shows quite conclusively that the tale the son is telling is impossible because if the way our legal system works and Heir Hunters work.

Exactly.

GSM has given the practical advice and information that Buttonjugs is looking for.

The son has a history of stealing from the family, and lying, because of his addiction. The OP is not asking for advice on how to deal with that issue - she has told us about it because that is the reason she does not trust him to be telling the truth.

It's quite possible the OP has done her own soul-searching on the matter of her son's drug addiction, but that is not the issue here. It is completely separate from what the she is asking of us.

Buttonjugs I endorse, as others have, GSM's advice. She not only has some expertise in the legal field, but has obviously taken the time to give some careful thought to the problem.

I hope your mind will be at peace soon.

Thanks Cossy. I hope Buttonjugs has been able to take comfort from the many supportive posts, which are overwhelmingly in the majority and tell her that she should ignore what her son has said as yet another of his lies. She’s the mother of her son and we all know how powerful a mother’s instinct, which she has had all these years, is.

Doodlebug, Oreo and GSM, I truly hope that the poor OP is still watching and reading and ignores some of the sheer nonsense and nasty “suggestions” on here! Have a great day x

So do I, and I hope that Buttonjugs hasn't been too upset by the insinuations on this thread. If you're still reading, Buttonjugs, remember that most people have been supportive.

Agree with your comments Cossy 👍🏻

Having now read through these comments I do have some observations.

Two years ago my five cousins and I were contacted by THREE different Heir Hunters, we investigated further and it was traced to a second cousin, we all knew of, who was a spinster living in France. At no point were ANY of us asked to supply DNA. My friend also actually ended up with an inheritance via Heir Hunters, she was never asked to supply DNA.

I worked, twice a week, in two different Drug Rehabs as part of an outreach job I did for over 3tears. Many of our “clients” were heroin addicts, many were lovely people actually, most were habitual liars! Sorry VS, I cannot agree, from real-life personal experience, that ALL or even many, addicts suffered from traumatic childhoods, SOME do, many don’t and had stable, loving upbringings and moved into heroin from other less addiction drugs for a variety of reasons, I also cannot see how any family therapy/counselling can possibly help either the son or mother in these specific circumstances.

I wholeheartedly agree with GSM and her fair, sane and sensible advice and comments on this thread.

What an awful situation for you! You were clearly a very vulnerable young teenager and you’ve had to live with things many of us cannot imagine.

So, on a practical note, after all these years does it really matter to you? Sadly, if your estranged son is still a heroin addict this could just be an elaborate lie, designed to “punish” and hurt you. Has he explained how and why he got this man’s DNA?

Please don’t let this blight your life, we all do things in our lives that in hindsight we wouldn’t go back and do again. We all make mistakes and it seems that you had no emotional support in your childhood, which is awful.

I have no advice, just sending good wishes to you x

I wanted to focus on OP from the beginning... Read back

I'm not really interested in arguing but I will defend my right to have my own thoughts and give my own advice

VioletSky

Actually you are twisting my words which may cause the upset that you wish to avoid

Comments are being removed from this thread so I would suggest this stops now and people focus on OP instead

I suggest you focus on the OP post and stop coming up with you own half-baked ideas that could damage the OP further.
Are you going to get this removed as well? If you do wait for the results. The lady who uses the Sun as her text book.

Sorry, I am not following you at all now

Sometimes Heirhunters do DNA tests we now know, especially if there was no marriage or the father was not on the birth certificate

So potentially it is possible that was the truth

VioletSky

I have posted all required links

I can't help you to read them I am afraid

Well if your textbook is The Sun, we need help, what will be appearing next, Little men from Mars sneaking DNA?
Tissue matching has been applied since transplantation became widely available not DNA which has only been available in the last few years and gives a more accurate result but not necessarily in the issue of tranplantation.

I have posted all required links

I can't help you to read them I am afraid

I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it to be the case

www.thesun.co.uk/money/19684388/find-out-if-you-could-be-lost-heir/

Germanshepherdsmum

VioletSky

Is one enough?

There are also news articles stating that remains have (awfully) been exhumed by heir hunters for DNA tests

Please provide links to these articles.

Yes I would like the links as well please Violet sky. People cannot just ask for bodies to be exhumed without going through the legal system.Heir Hunters are independent companies not police so would not have a case to have a body exhumed.

We certainly know someone is back. Not keeping to the original post.Lets see if this gets removed

Germanshepherdsmum

I have read the link to Blanchards and saw no mention of DNA.

I screenshot the exact paragraph for you, it is there

What does it take to be a heir hunter: We speak to Danny Curran www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/smallbusiness/article-9083133/What-does-heir-hunter-speak-Danny-Curran.html?ito=native_share_article-nativemenubutton

I have read the link to Blanchards and saw no mention of DNA.

You will need to read it GSM

VioletSky

Is one enough?

There are also news articles stating that remains have (awfully) been exhumed by heir hunters for DNA tests

Please provide links to these articles.

VioletSky

blanchardsltd.co.uk/when-is-a-relative-not-an-heir/

???

Having read your post carefully OP it’s obvious that any of your relationships could have resulted in your pregnancy, even tho you were fairly sure it was one particular man, you could well be wrong.Does it really matter to you? It was a long time ago and presumably this guy had no input in your life after that time.It may well matter to your son of course as he may want to know who his Father really is.
The old saying it’s a wise child that knows its own Father comes to mind.Sadly you don’t get on with your son due to lifestyle choices, and really there’s nothing you can do other than put the past behind you.