To be blindsided by DNA test?.

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The OP says she was vulnerable and exploited in other words she was an abused CHILD of 15 .Your comment and name calling is offensive crazy h I hope none of your family ever find themselves in this kind of situation.
OP I hope you find the information you're looking for and that it helps bring you some closure or peace

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I am seriously not having anyone on. I was undiagnosed autistic with parents who didn’t understand me. When I was 11 we moved to a town from a village and after a few months my mum sent my brothers to live with my dad. I was pretty much alone from then on and sought comfort from places I shouldn’t have. Bear in mind I was a vulnerable teenager with no guidance - my mum was more interested in the new man in her life. In a new town with absolutely nobody looking out for me I was incredibly naive and vulnerable.

Buttonjugs please accept my apologies, and thanks for coming back . I rushed to judgement. Feeling a bit sleepy now. but i will get back and read your post, without judging you .
Apologies again

Oh you poor thing, Buttonjugs. Nowadays the police would be interested in a 27 year old man who had sex with a 15 year old child, so the matter of paternity would be sorted fairly quickly. As it is though, does it really matter who the father was? You brought up your son, regardless of who the father is, and after all this time even if you knew for certain it wouldn’t change anything. If the man the heir hunters thought was the father had been, there would have been an inheritance, but as he’s not, there are no complications there.

How did the heir hunters know of the existence of your son? If you think he might be lying I would be asking about that, but what has anyone to gain by stringing you along?

Buttonjugs sorry to hear your story but your son is probably not lying I would think before handing over any inheritance a DNA would be taken to prove he was the man's son. If your son is still an active addict he would not turn down the opportunity to get money to feed his addiction.

You can't trust a heroin addict. You were vulnerable and exploited when 15, leave that where it is. Let your son deal with the hour hunters. When they meet him things might alter. The the one thing you can be certain of, he's your son. He's now a grown man who cuts his own path. I hope you apart from this made a happier life.

What a sad early life Buttunjugs. You were a vulnerable teenager. I hope life is better for you now 💐

I would be surprised if a heroin addict would spend £50-75 on a DNA test.
Also whose name was on the birth certificate?
Heir hunters would only have that to go on unless it was the heir hunters who paid for the DNA test.
So many questions!

I often watch the heir hunters on tv and have never come across anyone being required to take a DNA test before. A great deal of time and effort is spent tracing those identified as blood relatives by examining the family tree, so I suspect your son is lying to you Buttonjugs.

As Doodledog's said "does it really matter who the father was?" Whoever the father is, they've never been a part of your son's life so I hope you'll be able to put this to one side. It's awful when a mother cannot believe what she's told by her own child because they're a proven liar, but sadly this is how it is for you .

I’m sorry to hear about your early life Buttonjugs. You are very brave to be so honest with us. You say this is your eldest son so I hope you went on to have a happy family life.

I don’t think your son is telling the truth. I assume the man’s name was not on your son’s birth certificate - he would have had to have consented to that and I don’t get the impression that he knew/wanted to know/stuck around. So what information did the heir hunters have to go on? None. By the time they became involved the man was dead and even if he had already done a DNA test for some reason they wouldn’t have access to the results. They work on paper trails in public documents - birth and marriage certificates and the like - and have no access to private documents such as DNA results. So you can discount the heir hunters story. The only way your son could prove that this man was not his father is if they had both taken DNA tests with the same company - and how likely is it that they would have agreed to do that? If there was a chance of being the father of the son you describe, with his addiction and habitual stealing, would he really take the risk of paternity being proved? In my opinion, no he would not. It’s just an attempt to hurt you. There is every reason for your belief that the man I was your son’s father so carry on with that knowledge and don’t let your son’s lies question your judgement. 💐
PS apologies if this has been said already - so many interruptions while I was typing, it’s taken the best part of an hour!

So sorry your early life was so difficult Buttonjugs.
GSM speaks soundly, please accept her advice and then move on.
Good luck.

Sounds dodgy. Look at the user name.

Something else I thought about - while this man was alive would your son have taken the risk of a DNA test showing that the potential gravy train was not his father?

kircubbin2000

Sounds dodgy. Look at the user name.

People choose weird and wonderful names on social media and for all sorts of reasons - or simply because one just popped into their mind- so I don't really think you can make any assumptions based on the username.

And you only have to be slightly 'worldly' to understand that not everyone leads what is considered a normal life. Any charity involved with children and young teens will tell you that some of them have led - through no fault of their own - chaotic and unstable lives.

Drugs and the addiction to them is real - now, and historically. As a teenager back in the 50s, I was more than once 'tempted' by offers, as were some of my friends. Fortunately, most of us resisted - instinctively rather than rationally. The situation is even more potent now - drugs are everywhere.

Buttonjugs
Germanshepherdsmum gives good advice. As maddyone says, she speaks soundly - and we know, as regulars, that she looks at such issues with a forensic mindset.
I hope you can move on from this - your son's resemblance to his father is probably not a figment of imagination. Rely on your instincts.

kircubbin2000

Sounds dodgy. Look at the user name.

Buttonjugs is a regular poster.

kircubbin2000

Sounds dodgy. Look at the user name.

And 🤷‍♀️ This poster has posted on GN many times.

GSM gives good advice here buttonjugs

No wonder abusers get away with it judging by a couple of comments here. Also, good to know how your minds work.

Buttonjugs I am both with those who feel only pity and sympathy for the abused 15 year old you were when you had these liaisons that led to the birth of your son and also, absolutely with GSM in the advice she gives. She is a solicitor, so knows whta she is talking about.

At the end of the day, does it matter who his father was, you are his mother and raised him, his father has had little to do with him.

His tragic descent into drug addiction is not your fault. You yourself were used and abused as a child and I suspect may not have had an easy life since, either when he was young, or now and sadly the problems that affect struggling families keep going through the generations.

You are right to disbelieve anything your son says about his parentage, inheritance or anything else. He was watching or listening to a tv programme that featured it, and thought it a good 'joke' to use it to wind you up.

Be kind to yourself.

You are obviously a survivor.. follow your instincts on this one and don't let your son punish you.. as Monica says.. be kind to yourself

MerylStreep

No wonder abusers get away with it judging by a couple of comments here. Also, good to know how your minds work.

I'm glad the comment from crazyH was removed. Totally uncalled for and offensive.

We can see how victim-blaming works. No wonder there is the need for organisations like Child-Line, etc.