To be blindsided by DNA test?.

Times change I guess

Is one enough?

There are also news articles stating that remains have (awfully) been exhumed by heir hunters for DNA tests

Buttonjugs
Things are not a always as straightforward as some like to think. My heart goes out to you, the world is not black and white and sometimes issues are blurred. God bless.

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blanchardsltd.co.uk/when-is-a-relative-not-an-heir/

VioletSky

Reading through a few websites it appears that heir hunters do do DNA tests now. Especially if there was no marriage or the father was not on the birth certificate

Heir hunters cannot do DNA tests without peoples consent it's impossible they need a sample of sputum. They work the family tree back and if they do not find siblings they look at cousins.
If two people use as others have said the same testing company , you will get matches with near relatives whom you have never heard of.It happened personally to me. I was contacted from Australia to see if I had any information on a relative who had obviously had an illegitimate child in Australia.Through the Ancestry website
.Of course there is usually no father named on a birth certificate nowadays but in other centuries the father was named and shamed and there can be marriages recorded , but women have affairs within marriage. That is why the Ancient Greeks and president days Jewish familys have a matriarchal system.

Links?

Reading through a few websites it appears that heir hunters do do DNA tests now. Especially if there was no marriage or the father was not on the birth certificate

Once towards the end of my blood father’s life I left my name and address with telephone number on his mantelpiece, as I live in another country and he lived alone. When the time came the coroner contacted me. If your son visited what he thought was his father, he may have left his contact address with him and the police/coroner may have pasted this on to other people.
Of course the heir hunters were quickly on the trail but they never asked for me for a DNA test.

Thank you MOnica.

VS Go back to the post Germanshepherdsmum made on Sat 16-Dec-23 10:21:56, to be found on page 1 of this thread.

In that thread GSM, who is a solicitor, shows quite conclusively that the tale the son is telling is impossible because if the way our legal system works and Heir Hunters work.

There is absolutely no reason why the OP should consider her son's story as anything other than a tissue of lies.

VioletSky

Addressing some of the comments:

Suffering with addiction doesn't equate to "liar". Addiction usually manifests due the person having unresolved trauma

To OP:

I would take what he is saying at face value and get yourself some help to cope with this news. It will be difficult for your son too, especially as he must be able to do the maths and know that your teenage years must have been troubling for you

Drug addicts are liars. Anyone involved in their world will confirm this.

Actually you are twisting my words which may cause the upset that you wish to avoid

Comments are being removed from this thread so I would suggest this stops now and people focus on OP instead

Thank you all.

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Suggesting that someone may be responsible for her son's addiction, and that he suffered from childhood trauma is unnecessarily cruel yes it is Doodledog.

Posters questioning and/or disagreeing with your posts has nothing to do with personal animosity VS. If it were, there'd be no discussion and no debate.

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Perhaps you should keep your personal animosities towards myself away from vulnerable people's threads

Look at what you have said to the OP, and think about disparaging of character, VS. GSM is right.

Actually I do have qualifications that apply

But OP would like the truth and I think suggesting a path to that is helpful or I wouldn't be saying it

Aces and trauma aren't tied to parenting

I hope you are finished disparaging my character unnecessarily now GSM

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It's recommended with addiction

Especially for overcoming addiction and rebuilding trust

VioletSky

I think family therapy could prevent or reconcile many estrangements

But it’s not recommended if either party is abusive.

I disagree but then, I wouldn't be commenting any further if I weren't addressing those trying to argue against my words addressed to OP

I’m not disputing the usefulness of family therapy in some circumstances. It’s never a cure all and totally inappropriate in these circumstances