Rejected gift AIBU to be offended

She is only 8, may have been in a bad mood, didn’t want any sweets or little toys at that time. I think your daughter did the right thing in leaving it so that if the child asked for the money later on she would be able to say that she said she didn’t want it , a lesson learnt for her.

At 8 she has a lot of phases of development left to go through

Young children are no longer used to cash money either...

I wouldn't worry about it at all, treat her in person to something instead

Strange for a Child to refuse money but if you were to do the same in another year or two I bet the response will be very different.

We give ours £10 each for the school holidays and they snatch and run. I would like a thank you grandma but they don’t always remember good manners.
Don’t be upset there may be a good reason; maybe your daughter will have an idea why.

How long were they at yours for? Maybe your granddaughter just meant there was nothing she needed money for on this visit?
Don't be offended! I'm sure there will be plenty of other opportunities to treat her in the future 😊

There's a fine line sometimes between our natural desire to treat them, and them ending up expecting it as a right 🤔
My mother-in-law years ago always took a present when she saw her first grandchild.
Then she'd get annoyed because his first words to her would be, "What have you got in your bag for me today grandma?"
We all pointed out to her that she'd created that expectation 🤷

Whatever the reason was for refusing the gift your granddaughter should have said thank you, and her mother could have kept the money for something useful. She was rude.

I agree with eazybee. The child was rude. I would have quietly reprimanded a child of mine who behaved like that and I'm sure the parents of my GC would too.

However, I've never given money directly to my GC. I always give it to their parents to administer at appropriate moments. The kids know what money is theirs and only have to ask for it when they want to spend some.

I never gave my grand children money until they got into their teens. Always gave the money to their parents. At 8 years old I think the child is a bit young. Maybe a word from their parents about saying thank you and taking the money.

Same here Purplepixie

I would have gone "oh, that is ok", and thought, well that saved me £10!

Don’t feel upset, sazz1. Who knows what goes on in the mind of an 8 year old? As theexwife says, your daughter was right to leave the cash with you. If she asks for it now then tough, lesson learned and she won’t make that mistake again!

I hope your daughter had a quiet word about manners though, I’m sure any of my DGS would have been pulled up. Three of them recently refused the Beano books that I thought they’d like, but all with a “no thank you”, and two with “they’re not really my thing”, which was fine. DGS3 was more than happy to scoop up all 4.

Social niceties arrive slowly!

She is 8, they can be difficult. As can teens.

Your daughter is probably attempting to teach her daughter how to behave, leave that alone. Be your normal happy self next you see GD, I imagine she'll have forgotten and you could forget it as well.

Always difficult to know, but I suspect that in the child's head it is for the little treats you describe.
8 year olds are impressionable - there may have been discussion at school about 'children who don't have much' or 'too much sugar is bad' or 'plastic toys'. I wondered if the child felt she was being good and kind by not taking something she didn't need!

I personally don't think it's rude as such (although context is everything). It feels different to me to rejecting a gift that has been chosen.

I wonder if you could make it clear that she could set it aside and save it if she wished. You could explain that you like to give her money, but the spending is up to her (as long as you do feel that!)
I would have a chat to your daughter as to whether it remains an appropriate thing to do, but I certainly wouldn't over-react to one incident.

Hope you enjoy your Xmas, and that you find the different reactions on here helpful.

If she didn't want it thats fine isn't it.. just leave it at that.. how else are children going to learn to take responsibility for themselves and for us to respect them when they do.

She is just eight so I wouldn’t take it to heart. I would remind her mum though to teach her it’s polite to say thank you.

I agree with eazybee. She should have thanked you for the money whether she wanted it or not. An 8 year old is old enough to be polite. She was rude and her rudeness should have been pointed out to her by her mother.

My DS once he was a big lad, became increasingly hard to buy for because he always bought himself anything he wanted. He had a Saturday job and always had plenty of pocket money.

One year I made him something and was disappointed that although he thanked me he left it lying about and obviously didn't want it.

No more presents, sorry!
Your 8yr old reminds me of him.

Who knows what she was thinking. Their minds work in mysterious ways. If I were her mother I'd have had a word about her rudeness, but that's definitely a parent's role. If I were you I'd forget it, but be ready for her to change her mind when she realises she's turned down the chance to spend some money on herself.

Was it a new note?
My husband brought some notes back for one particular grandchild only yesterday and one looked pretty scruffy. I said "we can't give him that" - it just looked.... mmmn ... maybe unhygienic and didn't feel like a gift.
I will have to go out tomorrow.

With my gc they have little need for anything as they seem to have everything. I gave up years ago buying presents. Usually i put money in a card but even that last year wasnt right! They dont use cash only card said my dd. Christmas shopping is very very easy as dh buys himself stuff he wants dd and partners and gc now have money to do with as they wish. My best friend i buy tin biscs . Job done.

Some young children have quite a conscience and perhaps your GD had an idea you might not be able to afford to give her money you really need for yourself? Perhaps saying “no” tactfully was tricky for her, so she just resorted to an unadorned rejection.

I don't give my grandsons money. They have birthday and Christmas presents. When I had my older grandson for 4 Tuesdays over the summer I took him out twice for lunch on the bus . Once to the local park and the other Tuesday we did baking . We played at my home and talked . He made me a thank you card . My daughter and son in law gave me a card with £40 in it. I asked what it was for and was told because I took him out for lunch. Pointed out I did it because I wanted to and didn't need paying to look after my grandson. My daughter knows my financial position and know she was worried about me spending money. She wouldn't have it back. So the boys had £20 extra spent on them for Christmas this year.

I brought them both money boxes few years ago and they put any money they are given into them. I don't know what there other nannie and grandad do as it's not my business.

Wouldn’t take it to heart. Though I can’t imagine any of our grands turning down a little pocket change lol 😂. If she would older I’d expect a no thanks but at 8? I’d laugh to myself and say oh okay and put it away. I imagine in a year or two she’ll change her tune 😝

I would have smiled and said 'OK then, I'll have it back. Thank you' and promptly replaced it in my wallet.